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Substance Abuse
Changing programs?
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 508872" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>The rest of his life will be these issues. There are always people we struggle with and trust issues will plague his relationships when he is not a "rule follower". He needs to face this and work it out. You double checked and have told him you believe him. That helps your relationship. I made the mistake of advocating for my daughter in both RTCs. I call it a mistake now, then I thought it was my job. She needed to take care of much of the struggles. This builds confidence and skills in kids. It also sends the message that you think they are competent. Most important (<strong>I did not get this until recently), they (my difficult child and yours), have made the choices that got them into these places. Perhaps some suffering in the world will make them want to be home and run by the rules. Also, to know that you will listen, but the action is up to them.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong></strong>Keep him there and encourage and empower him to work this out this time. Counselor doesn't trust him, she doesn't make him feel good right now. Instead of falling apart and being more defiant, he needs to figure out a better way to cope. What can he do to regain trust? It's unjust but this is the world. I would draw the line if it becomes abusive from the counselor. Right now it is just uncomfortable. Based on my own mistakes, I encourage you to be smarter and stronger than I was. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 508872, member: 11001"] The rest of his life will be these issues. There are always people we struggle with and trust issues will plague his relationships when he is not a "rule follower". He needs to face this and work it out. You double checked and have told him you believe him. That helps your relationship. I made the mistake of advocating for my daughter in both RTCs. I call it a mistake now, then I thought it was my job. She needed to take care of much of the struggles. This builds confidence and skills in kids. It also sends the message that you think they are competent. Most important ([B]I did not get this until recently), they (my difficult child and yours), have made the choices that got them into these places. Perhaps some suffering in the world will make them want to be home and run by the rules. Also, to know that you will listen, but the action is up to them. [/B]Keep him there and encourage and empower him to work this out this time. Counselor doesn't trust him, she doesn't make him feel good right now. Instead of falling apart and being more defiant, he needs to figure out a better way to cope. What can he do to regain trust? It's unjust but this is the world. I would draw the line if it becomes abusive from the counselor. Right now it is just uncomfortable. Based on my own mistakes, I encourage you to be smarter and stronger than I was. :) [/QUOTE]
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