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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 609296" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I'm going to guess that, while school is probably pretty awful for him, that isn't why he behaves this way. I think an updated evaluation may be a good idea...or a second opinion. </p><p></p><p>When you say your husband snaps, do you mean he hits him? Just wondering. That won't help. Screaming at him won't help either. Our difficult child's actually do a bit better if we can stay calm. These already-ramped-up kids just get more ramped up if WE buy into it! Not that it's easy to stay calm, but if you can manage, maybe it will keep things to a minimum. There is NOTHING to be gained by hitting. If your husband is hitting him, try to get him to stop. </p><p></p><p>My guess is that his behavior is atypical in school and he is being bullied or bullying and getting into trouble for it because the educators don't understand him. That's why it's a good idea to get another evaluation. </p><p></p><p>IC is right about you taking care of your needs as well. A therapist might be able to teach you coping skills to deal with the stress. I am working on stress management by using mindfulness and meditation. With mindfulness you can learn, to the best of your ability, to view a situation without judging it and getting too emotionally involved. That way you can learn to stay calm and not upset your difficult child further or, most importantly, yourself. This isn't your fault and you can't fix it alone. Don't expect yourself to. And take time out to be alone. Put husband on babysitting status.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 609296, member: 1550"] I'm going to guess that, while school is probably pretty awful for him, that isn't why he behaves this way. I think an updated evaluation may be a good idea...or a second opinion. When you say your husband snaps, do you mean he hits him? Just wondering. That won't help. Screaming at him won't help either. Our difficult child's actually do a bit better if we can stay calm. These already-ramped-up kids just get more ramped up if WE buy into it! Not that it's easy to stay calm, but if you can manage, maybe it will keep things to a minimum. There is NOTHING to be gained by hitting. If your husband is hitting him, try to get him to stop. My guess is that his behavior is atypical in school and he is being bullied or bullying and getting into trouble for it because the educators don't understand him. That's why it's a good idea to get another evaluation. IC is right about you taking care of your needs as well. A therapist might be able to teach you coping skills to deal with the stress. I am working on stress management by using mindfulness and meditation. With mindfulness you can learn, to the best of your ability, to view a situation without judging it and getting too emotionally involved. That way you can learn to stay calm and not upset your difficult child further or, most importantly, yourself. This isn't your fault and you can't fix it alone. Don't expect yourself to. And take time out to be alone. Put husband on babysitting status. [/QUOTE]
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