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Checking in with some "after we said it" shakiness
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<blockquote data-quote="SeekingStrength" data-source="post: 619064" data-attributes="member: 17635"><p>Thanks, as always. The words you come up with are always SO helpful, so what husband and I need to hear and remember and/or practice.</p><p></p><p>We are talking about taking a little one or two night jaunt somewhere. Perhaps early next week.</p><p></p><p>We did not buy him the ticket. The dad of the friend gfg32 has stayed with the last week did...at least that is what we were told. gfg32's words to his dad on the phone yesterday included, <em><strong>You were never a father. Mr. ****** cares more about me than you. He spent $600 on a ticket for me while you do nothing. </strong></em>And, his dad was/is a great dad..spent so much time with him, coached his T-Ball teams, baseball teams, Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, played ball with him, took him to movies. Last night, when it took forever to fall asleep, and i could hear husband's asleep breathing, I felt so badly for husband --but he does know he was a great dad.</p><p></p><p>I do think this disengaging will help husband and me get a clearer picture of who our son really is. Several years ago, we had no contact with him for over a year. He would call my cell about once a month and hang up. When i would call back, he never picked up. I told myself it was his way of letting us know he was alive.</p><p></p><p>Oh, his sister is a psychological examiner. She told us a year or so ago, "I am not diagnosing him, but I suggest you look up anti-social behavior disorder". Oh my! yep, that would be our son. From what i read, no medications help much but cognitive therapy can. (Though, I feel he might benefit from anti-anxiety medication)....But, until he wants help, that doesn't really matter.</p><p></p><p>Beer tonight for husband and me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeekingStrength, post: 619064, member: 17635"] Thanks, as always. The words you come up with are always SO helpful, so what husband and I need to hear and remember and/or practice. We are talking about taking a little one or two night jaunt somewhere. Perhaps early next week. We did not buy him the ticket. The dad of the friend gfg32 has stayed with the last week did...at least that is what we were told. gfg32's words to his dad on the phone yesterday included, [I][B]You were never a father. Mr. ****** cares more about me than you. He spent $600 on a ticket for me while you do nothing. [/B][/I]And, his dad was/is a great dad..spent so much time with him, coached his T-Ball teams, baseball teams, Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, played ball with him, took him to movies. Last night, when it took forever to fall asleep, and i could hear husband's asleep breathing, I felt so badly for husband --but he does know he was a great dad. I do think this disengaging will help husband and me get a clearer picture of who our son really is. Several years ago, we had no contact with him for over a year. He would call my cell about once a month and hang up. When i would call back, he never picked up. I told myself it was his way of letting us know he was alive. Oh, his sister is a psychological examiner. She told us a year or so ago, "I am not diagnosing him, but I suggest you look up anti-social behavior disorder". Oh my! yep, that would be our son. From what i read, no medications help much but cognitive therapy can. (Though, I feel he might benefit from anti-anxiety medication)....But, until he wants help, that doesn't really matter. Beer tonight for husband and me. [/QUOTE]
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