I have a number of questions for you about the situation. I will also make some suggestions about what to do right now with the IEP document at the end. But what you decide to do may change once you have gathered more information from me and other people/resources.
Eligibility related stuff
1. Is your son being suspended or losing class time approaching 10 school days a year due to behavioral problems?
2. Is his behavior interfering with the ability of the children around him to learn?
3. What areas did the school district assess in preparation for the eligibility determination meeting?
4. Do you have copies of their reports?
Goals
5. What services or changes do you believe your son needs that having an IEP would provide?
6. Are you prepared to have your son categorized as Emotionally Disturbed in order to get those services/supports?
7. Is your son having behavioral problems in all domains? School, home, social, public (church, sports, etc)?
8. What do you think is happening with your son to cause these behaviors?
History/What have you done besides ask for school assessment?
9. Has your son been seen by any medical or psychological professional for diagnosis or treatment of these problems? If so, what was their diagnosis/explanation?
10.Is there a family or personal history of mental illness, addiction/drug/alcohol abuse, other forms of abuse (emotional, sexual, etc), trauma (deaths, severe illness of family member, serious car accident - etc) or other unusual circumstances that might be contributing to the problem? For example, an acrimonious divorce? Cross country move following divorce?
As for your options right now:
If you do not agree with the school district's eligibility determination, do NOT sign whatever document you have in such a way as to suggest you agree with the denial.
You have 2 options.
Refuse to sign/agree:
You can completely refuse to sign it, write on it that you did not sign because you do not agree with the denial. Enclose it with a letter to the head of Special Education saying why you disagree with their position. Then ask for an outside assessment called an IEE or Independent Educational Evaluation. You may be forced to actually appeal the decision through the due process system but hopefully the district will decide it is better to give in and do an IEE.
OR
You can also write on the document that you do not agree with the eligibility determination and want an IEE and then return it to them just like that.
Buy time, avoid direct confrontation:
You can state that you do not agree with the eligibility determination and you want the meeting tabled in order for
1) The district to have time to propose and implement a behavior plan and report the results to the eligibility team because you believe the results will substantiate your position that your son is a child with a disability and meets the eligibility critiera for Special Education
2) for an IEE to be conducted or
3) for you to gather more information for the eligibility team to consider (code for get your own assessments done).
I recommend that you contact your local Area Board and ask for help from one of their advocates. Here is a link to the map of Area Boards. The Area Boards are a free service of the State Dept. of Developmental Disabilities. They provide advocates to families of children who may be or are eligible for special education.
http://www.scdd.ca.gov/
Patricia