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Substance Abuse
College age son is successful in some areas but is doing drugs
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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 540931" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>Hi and welcome,</p><p></p><p>Your gut is always right. You have described a common dilemma many on this board face: an adult child who is using drugs, maybe not all the time, but enough to get caught and even arrested/probation, but not horrendous consequences which will make them reconsider their current path. He seems to be using socially, but not to the degree that his grades or work are affected at all (for the moment, at least).</p><p></p><p>It seems to me that your son is skipping along the edge of a volcano. He's hanging out at a hookah bar, his chosen roommate was found with meth...that's serious stuff. He's a high achiever who is "slumming" with a sketchy crowd. If he has a nice girlfriend, a very good average in a good major in college, why screw it up? Maybe he feels like he's doing all these "good son" things to please you and society at large, but these risky behaviors give him a thrill, and a "bad boy" image with his peers that he is embracing. (I'm just speculating here.) For boys, it's not unusual. Does your son have any interpersonal or social difficulties, low self esteem, etc.? It just doesn't compute why he would be a great student, hard worker, then inexplicably exhibit this self destructive, foolish behavior, even after being arrested.</p><p></p><p>Are you paying for college tuition? If he's been driving your car, and you suspect he came home under the influence, he shouldn't be driving. You're doing the right thing, in my opinion, not giving him spending money. I know this is troubling for you, and you are worried about him escalating this behavior, and you are right to be concerned. He is your beloved son, and you know where this is headed. First things first before you think about next semester: he should be drug tested for a variety of substances, and should be continuing therapy to find out why he feels the need to participate in self destructive behavior when he clearly has a good head on his shoulders. You may want to consider counseling for your own sake, as well. </p><p>Many other wise warrior Moms will be along shortly to dispense very worthy advice. Stay strong and enforce boundaries. Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 540931, member: 13882"] Hi and welcome, Your gut is always right. You have described a common dilemma many on this board face: an adult child who is using drugs, maybe not all the time, but enough to get caught and even arrested/probation, but not horrendous consequences which will make them reconsider their current path. He seems to be using socially, but not to the degree that his grades or work are affected at all (for the moment, at least). It seems to me that your son is skipping along the edge of a volcano. He's hanging out at a hookah bar, his chosen roommate was found with meth...that's serious stuff. He's a high achiever who is "slumming" with a sketchy crowd. If he has a nice girlfriend, a very good average in a good major in college, why screw it up? Maybe he feels like he's doing all these "good son" things to please you and society at large, but these risky behaviors give him a thrill, and a "bad boy" image with his peers that he is embracing. (I'm just speculating here.) For boys, it's not unusual. Does your son have any interpersonal or social difficulties, low self esteem, etc.? It just doesn't compute why he would be a great student, hard worker, then inexplicably exhibit this self destructive, foolish behavior, even after being arrested. Are you paying for college tuition? If he's been driving your car, and you suspect he came home under the influence, he shouldn't be driving. You're doing the right thing, in my opinion, not giving him spending money. I know this is troubling for you, and you are worried about him escalating this behavior, and you are right to be concerned. He is your beloved son, and you know where this is headed. First things first before you think about next semester: he should be drug tested for a variety of substances, and should be continuing therapy to find out why he feels the need to participate in self destructive behavior when he clearly has a good head on his shoulders. You may want to consider counseling for your own sake, as well. Many other wise warrior Moms will be along shortly to dispense very worthy advice. Stay strong and enforce boundaries. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
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College age son is successful in some areas but is doing drugs
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