Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
College age son is successful in some areas but is doing drugs
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 540941"><p>Yes definitely find a good support group such as a parents alanon group. The group I go to has been a life saver for me. I think there is good news in your post in that your son is doing well in school, is holding down a job, is being a responsible (mostly) citizen. Yes he is smoking pot and that is not a good thing but he is not yet doing it enough to interfere a lot with the rest of his life. I believe there are plenty of kids who use pot like many use alcohol and it does not become a huge problem.</p><p></p><p>You cannot control his drug use... and in my experience, making requirements specifically around drug use doesn't work very well. He will find ways around drug tests and many of the more serious drugs do not stay in your system long. </p><p></p><p>The roommate using meth is scary... and the new grungy friends are a concern. Not much you can do about those though.</p><p></p><p>You are doing the right thing about not giving him money... is the living expense money being paid directly (ie paying rent directly etc.). If not I would try and do it that way so he is not getting money from you that he could use for drugs. I think your stand on the car use is good... use it only to get to work. You don't want him getting high and driving your car.</p><p></p><p>My main suggest is keep an eye on the rest of his life... know the signs of serious drug use... ie his attitude and temper getting much worse, any kind of violence, stealing, lying, sleeping really odd hours, losing a lot of weight, smelling bad (weird body odor). I would continue to keep your expectations around work and school high... and if he starts doing badly at those things address them.</p><p></p><p>I think letting him know you are concerned about drug use and that you want him to see a counselor is a good idea. But personally I would stay away from being the drug police, first because it doesnt work and all it does is interfere with what sounds like a basically good relationship between you.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 540941"] Yes definitely find a good support group such as a parents alanon group. The group I go to has been a life saver for me. I think there is good news in your post in that your son is doing well in school, is holding down a job, is being a responsible (mostly) citizen. Yes he is smoking pot and that is not a good thing but he is not yet doing it enough to interfere a lot with the rest of his life. I believe there are plenty of kids who use pot like many use alcohol and it does not become a huge problem. You cannot control his drug use... and in my experience, making requirements specifically around drug use doesn't work very well. He will find ways around drug tests and many of the more serious drugs do not stay in your system long. The roommate using meth is scary... and the new grungy friends are a concern. Not much you can do about those though. You are doing the right thing about not giving him money... is the living expense money being paid directly (ie paying rent directly etc.). If not I would try and do it that way so he is not getting money from you that he could use for drugs. I think your stand on the car use is good... use it only to get to work. You don't want him getting high and driving your car. My main suggest is keep an eye on the rest of his life... know the signs of serious drug use... ie his attitude and temper getting much worse, any kind of violence, stealing, lying, sleeping really odd hours, losing a lot of weight, smelling bad (weird body odor). I would continue to keep your expectations around work and school high... and if he starts doing badly at those things address them. I think letting him know you are concerned about drug use and that you want him to see a counselor is a good idea. But personally I would stay away from being the drug police, first because it doesnt work and all it does is interfere with what sounds like a basically good relationship between you. TL [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
College age son is successful in some areas but is doing drugs
Top