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Substance Abuse
College age son is successful in some areas but is doing drugs
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 541197" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>Welcome to the board. I have a 17 year old daughter who uses pot. She never has used daily and will go weeks without it because she has no money. I believe she may be emotional well during that time. When she was working-her checks disappeared. Looked like she was eating out quite a bit (munchies from mj?)and I suspect buying pot-though we never saw the signs during her 4 months of working. She has not escalated to other drugs (as of yet) but there is no good that comes from mj use either. She tends to use it with her friends (all poor choices) and when she is upset-a "go to" numbing devise, rather than solving her issues Our daughter has mental health problems that are deeper than depression so her issues are complicated. She is bright, was identified as gifted, yet could not make it through public school. She graduated this past Dec. a year and a half early with a GED (they give state diplomas when kids do this here). </p><p></p><p>My older son is ADHD and has done so well. We read so much about medicating or not medicating him. What we found was that they will self medicate most of the time if they are not treated early. He was medicated from ages 5-16. He is now able to deal with it on his own. He is a great kid and we have never had drug issues with him. I really think seeing a psychiatrist is in your best interest. Antidepressants have been a nightmare for my daughter, but for many they are a God send. My son even did them for a year when he was 14-he too had trouble fitting in and the beginning of high school is tough. </p><p></p><p>I think being bullied and not fitting in causes huge self-esteem issues. As a long-time teacher, I watch the viciousness of this get worse and worse with all the cyber stuff and the kids who are more socially delayed as a whole than they use to be. They lack the social empathy that was more the norm when kids played all day with each other and spent less time "plugged in" and more isolated. Both of my kids were different. Larger than the other kids, gifted intellectually, and more perceptive. These kids are more sensitive and get hurt at a deeper level. This triggers greater mental responses and can cause huge self-doubt, worry and frustration and then finially clinical depression among other things. I would take this seriously. </p><p></p><p>I go to Families Anon. meetings. I did not find comfort at other 12 step meetings. At FA everyone is a parent, sibling or spouse of an addict or emotionally disturbed person. I instantly felt understood. I tried NAMI and years ago CHADD with my son. Both of these were helpful as well-esp. to understand ADHD and my daughters mental illnesses.</p><p></p><p>My greatest comfort now is to know I have done all I can and as my daughter is almost 18-she has got to make her own decisions. I am working on distancing myself from "helping" which ends up not being help. When I do for her, she gets the message she is not a capable person (has even said that to me). It is hard to watch as they make bad choices and make huge mistakes that mess up their chances or change the course of their lives. But I am truelly powerless. I am there if she wants help or treatment. I will listen and I will recognize any victories. That is all we can do. Sounds like you have your head on strait. Continue with your plans. Keep us posted and come here to vent if you need to. ((Hugs)) We understand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 541197, member: 11001"] Welcome to the board. I have a 17 year old daughter who uses pot. She never has used daily and will go weeks without it because she has no money. I believe she may be emotional well during that time. When she was working-her checks disappeared. Looked like she was eating out quite a bit (munchies from mj?)and I suspect buying pot-though we never saw the signs during her 4 months of working. She has not escalated to other drugs (as of yet) but there is no good that comes from mj use either. She tends to use it with her friends (all poor choices) and when she is upset-a "go to" numbing devise, rather than solving her issues Our daughter has mental health problems that are deeper than depression so her issues are complicated. She is bright, was identified as gifted, yet could not make it through public school. She graduated this past Dec. a year and a half early with a GED (they give state diplomas when kids do this here). My older son is ADHD and has done so well. We read so much about medicating or not medicating him. What we found was that they will self medicate most of the time if they are not treated early. He was medicated from ages 5-16. He is now able to deal with it on his own. He is a great kid and we have never had drug issues with him. I really think seeing a psychiatrist is in your best interest. Antidepressants have been a nightmare for my daughter, but for many they are a God send. My son even did them for a year when he was 14-he too had trouble fitting in and the beginning of high school is tough. I think being bullied and not fitting in causes huge self-esteem issues. As a long-time teacher, I watch the viciousness of this get worse and worse with all the cyber stuff and the kids who are more socially delayed as a whole than they use to be. They lack the social empathy that was more the norm when kids played all day with each other and spent less time "plugged in" and more isolated. Both of my kids were different. Larger than the other kids, gifted intellectually, and more perceptive. These kids are more sensitive and get hurt at a deeper level. This triggers greater mental responses and can cause huge self-doubt, worry and frustration and then finially clinical depression among other things. I would take this seriously. I go to Families Anon. meetings. I did not find comfort at other 12 step meetings. At FA everyone is a parent, sibling or spouse of an addict or emotionally disturbed person. I instantly felt understood. I tried NAMI and years ago CHADD with my son. Both of these were helpful as well-esp. to understand ADHD and my daughters mental illnesses. My greatest comfort now is to know I have done all I can and as my daughter is almost 18-she has got to make her own decisions. I am working on distancing myself from "helping" which ends up not being help. When I do for her, she gets the message she is not a capable person (has even said that to me). It is hard to watch as they make bad choices and make huge mistakes that mess up their chances or change the course of their lives. But I am truelly powerless. I am there if she wants help or treatment. I will listen and I will recognize any victories. That is all we can do. Sounds like you have your head on strait. Continue with your plans. Keep us posted and come here to vent if you need to. ((Hugs)) We understand. [/QUOTE]
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College age son is successful in some areas but is doing drugs
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