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Concerned about difficult child coming home
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 340099" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Let me try to clear the confusion- he's incarcerated now so I don't think he's done any drugs the past year. Before that, he was on probation and getting random drug tests and I kept a pretty close eye on him so the only thing he could have done without getting caught (if you add up what he might have had access to and not tested for) would have been huffing. He has always sworn that he's never done any drugs. At visitation this weekend the subject came up and I mentioned how dangerous huffing was and damaging to the body/brain- potentially life threatening- and directly asked if he'd ever tried it. He told me he knew how dangerous it was and some boys told him about it a few years ago. Apparently they told him people could sniff paint, cans of glue and whipped cream. He said we had no cans of glue so he tried sniffing a can of paint but must not have "done it right" because it didn't do anything for him and the same thing with a can of whipped cream. The reason I think he's telling the truth is that I can see my son at 12yo or so opening a can of paint or spraying it outside, breathing over it, and not getting high so he gave up. And with the can of whipped cream- my son would have eaten it before trying hard enough to get high from it.</p><p></p><p>I do see that this was still an effort to get high and am not overlooking the fact that it was definite expermentation. But I think he's been living with these boys who most have tried street drugs and he views pot use as almost a norm now but views huffing as a kid's thing.</p><p></p><p>He knows he'll have drug tests while on parole and says he knows he can't get by with trying pot or anything as long as he's on parole. He's obviously learned mre and heard a lot more about drugs from kids who he's incarcerated with than kids he was going to middle school with before incarceration, altthough some of them were starting to talk about it- and it turned one boy in for having some to sell. Department of Juvenile Justice knows this and had previously recommended him getting some substance abuse program. The problem is that it is hard to find preventative type programs thru Department of Juvenile Justice funding. Their programs deal with kids who are already onn drugs and been caught so any proogram he went to thru Department of Juvenile Justice/parole would be putting him in with kids who already have a drug habit, where he would learn more about drugs instead of prevention.</p><p></p><p>I can still discuss it with his PO but I'm not sure how to really solve the problem if difficult child has it in his head that he won't do drugs as long as he's on parole, but will "try" them once he's off. Then what's the answer- keep him on juvenile parole until he's 18yo?</p><p></p><p>The thing is, there is really only so much I or anyone else can do to prevent it if he's bound determined to do it once he's released. The best hope is that once he's released he figures out that pot use really isn't a norm for mainstream teens- but that might very well be too idealistic. Especially for a kid who is going to have trouble making friends at a new school with kids who have stayed out of trouble- he's obviously going to relate more to the kids who have been in legal trouble, and pot use very well might be the norm for them. Maybe the mentor can help in this area, I don't know.</p><p></p><p>When difficult child made the comment that he knew better than to try pot or any drugs while on parole (due to random drug tests and an automattic re-incarceration), I told him that even when he was off parole, I coould and would still turn him in if I caught wind of any drug use. He said he knew that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 340099, member: 3699"] Let me try to clear the confusion- he's incarcerated now so I don't think he's done any drugs the past year. Before that, he was on probation and getting random drug tests and I kept a pretty close eye on him so the only thing he could have done without getting caught (if you add up what he might have had access to and not tested for) would have been huffing. He has always sworn that he's never done any drugs. At visitation this weekend the subject came up and I mentioned how dangerous huffing was and damaging to the body/brain- potentially life threatening- and directly asked if he'd ever tried it. He told me he knew how dangerous it was and some boys told him about it a few years ago. Apparently they told him people could sniff paint, cans of glue and whipped cream. He said we had no cans of glue so he tried sniffing a can of paint but must not have "done it right" because it didn't do anything for him and the same thing with a can of whipped cream. The reason I think he's telling the truth is that I can see my son at 12yo or so opening a can of paint or spraying it outside, breathing over it, and not getting high so he gave up. And with the can of whipped cream- my son would have eaten it before trying hard enough to get high from it. I do see that this was still an effort to get high and am not overlooking the fact that it was definite expermentation. But I think he's been living with these boys who most have tried street drugs and he views pot use as almost a norm now but views huffing as a kid's thing. He knows he'll have drug tests while on parole and says he knows he can't get by with trying pot or anything as long as he's on parole. He's obviously learned mre and heard a lot more about drugs from kids who he's incarcerated with than kids he was going to middle school with before incarceration, altthough some of them were starting to talk about it- and it turned one boy in for having some to sell. Department of Juvenile Justice knows this and had previously recommended him getting some substance abuse program. The problem is that it is hard to find preventative type programs thru Department of Juvenile Justice funding. Their programs deal with kids who are already onn drugs and been caught so any proogram he went to thru Department of Juvenile Justice/parole would be putting him in with kids who already have a drug habit, where he would learn more about drugs instead of prevention. I can still discuss it with his PO but I'm not sure how to really solve the problem if difficult child has it in his head that he won't do drugs as long as he's on parole, but will "try" them once he's off. Then what's the answer- keep him on juvenile parole until he's 18yo? The thing is, there is really only so much I or anyone else can do to prevent it if he's bound determined to do it once he's released. The best hope is that once he's released he figures out that pot use really isn't a norm for mainstream teens- but that might very well be too idealistic. Especially for a kid who is going to have trouble making friends at a new school with kids who have stayed out of trouble- he's obviously going to relate more to the kids who have been in legal trouble, and pot use very well might be the norm for them. Maybe the mentor can help in this area, I don't know. When difficult child made the comment that he knew better than to try pot or any drugs while on parole (due to random drug tests and an automattic re-incarceration), I told him that even when he was off parole, I coould and would still turn him in if I caught wind of any drug use. He said he knew that. [/QUOTE]
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