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General Parenting
Conduct Disorder - Is there any hope?
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<blockquote data-quote="barneysmom" data-source="post: 369701" data-attributes="member: 1872"><p>Hi Jenn,</p><p>Welcome. You've already got some state-of-the-art advice. I thought I'd throw in my 2cents -- most of the "diagnoses" evolve over time. Ten years old is young for a concrete diagnosis. And as many have mentioned, I've never heard of a ten yr old being diagnosis with CD. Too young. </p><p></p><p>We've just been looking at a CD diagnosis for our older son, but most of it's turning out to be neurobiological. For more on CD, there's a good article in the archives called the Chandler Papers in the archives (sorry if mentioned already -- ADD). It's pretty hopeful about CD. </p><p></p><p>But more patterns have to be observed in your little guy over time. Write them down in a little journal -- just a few words about the day. Read up on some of the diagnoses until something clicks in your gut.</p><p>For me it was an article called "Rage Attacks" on Leslie Packer's site about Tourette's about 10 years ago. It didn't help me diagnose my kid. But it fit.</p><p></p><p>Some of the symptoms you mentioned could have different reasons, as others have suggested. Like hitting - he may not know how hard he's hitting or throwing (sensory issue). He may be getting too much or not enough sensory input, so he's dysregulated and isn't successful in self-regulating. Impulsivity, poor judgment can stem for a number of reasons in different areas of the brain. That's where a neuropsychologist evaluation would be helpful -- it looks like a bunch of esoteric academic tests (to me anyway), but it's actually a blueprint of how his brain is working.</p><p></p><p>A few more questions to ask yourself, not sure if they were already mentioned. Any birth trauma (sorry so personal). Head trauma? Separation from you in the early years due to illness? These are very personal questions, please don't even think of answering me. Do you have any thoughts about his setting fires and hurting animals? If a child is traumatized or stressed early on (for whatever reason) he can get stuck in a state of hyperarousal and cortisol (stress hormone) keeps flooding his brain. </p><p></p><p>There's probably a very specific reason he's not self-regulating. It's unclear now. </p><p></p><p>by the way if you do behavior mod and it involves an area of his brain that isn't up to speed, his behavior will worsen because he can't do it. Keep notes on what he can and can't do, or specific things that enrage him. That will show you what part of the brain he's relying on (maybe over-reliance) and what part of the brain he's not using. Rational decisions are made in the frontal lobe. Pre-frontal cortex. Fight or flight: amygdala I think. Oh how I hate the word amygdala and wish I had never ever heard it. </p><p></p><p>Hope I don't sound preachy -- this is basically just a little summary of my own journey with our older son.</p><p></p><p>Good luck. Keep posting. Bag the guilt and use that energy to take good care of yourself. You're doing a great job for your son and for your daughter too. Regarding the anger towards your son -- normal. I'd be wondering what's wrong with you if you weren't angry. I've gone far beyond anger all the way to rage. EEK! Better now though. I hate rage. Yuck! Underneath rage --- grief. Yuck! That's even worse. Got to be faced though. </p><p></p><p>Good luck, keep posting, do some things you enjoy and that define you as a person.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="barneysmom, post: 369701, member: 1872"] Hi Jenn, Welcome. You've already got some state-of-the-art advice. I thought I'd throw in my 2cents -- most of the "diagnoses" evolve over time. Ten years old is young for a concrete diagnosis. And as many have mentioned, I've never heard of a ten yr old being diagnosis with CD. Too young. We've just been looking at a CD diagnosis for our older son, but most of it's turning out to be neurobiological. For more on CD, there's a good article in the archives called the Chandler Papers in the archives (sorry if mentioned already -- ADD). It's pretty hopeful about CD. But more patterns have to be observed in your little guy over time. Write them down in a little journal -- just a few words about the day. Read up on some of the diagnoses until something clicks in your gut. For me it was an article called "Rage Attacks" on Leslie Packer's site about Tourette's about 10 years ago. It didn't help me diagnose my kid. But it fit. Some of the symptoms you mentioned could have different reasons, as others have suggested. Like hitting - he may not know how hard he's hitting or throwing (sensory issue). He may be getting too much or not enough sensory input, so he's dysregulated and isn't successful in self-regulating. Impulsivity, poor judgment can stem for a number of reasons in different areas of the brain. That's where a neuropsychologist evaluation would be helpful -- it looks like a bunch of esoteric academic tests (to me anyway), but it's actually a blueprint of how his brain is working. A few more questions to ask yourself, not sure if they were already mentioned. Any birth trauma (sorry so personal). Head trauma? Separation from you in the early years due to illness? These are very personal questions, please don't even think of answering me. Do you have any thoughts about his setting fires and hurting animals? If a child is traumatized or stressed early on (for whatever reason) he can get stuck in a state of hyperarousal and cortisol (stress hormone) keeps flooding his brain. There's probably a very specific reason he's not self-regulating. It's unclear now. by the way if you do behavior mod and it involves an area of his brain that isn't up to speed, his behavior will worsen because he can't do it. Keep notes on what he can and can't do, or specific things that enrage him. That will show you what part of the brain he's relying on (maybe over-reliance) and what part of the brain he's not using. Rational decisions are made in the frontal lobe. Pre-frontal cortex. Fight or flight: amygdala I think. Oh how I hate the word amygdala and wish I had never ever heard it. Hope I don't sound preachy -- this is basically just a little summary of my own journey with our older son. Good luck. Keep posting. Bag the guilt and use that energy to take good care of yourself. You're doing a great job for your son and for your daughter too. Regarding the anger towards your son -- normal. I'd be wondering what's wrong with you if you weren't angry. I've gone far beyond anger all the way to rage. EEK! Better now though. I hate rage. Yuck! Underneath rage --- grief. Yuck! That's even worse. Got to be faced though. Good luck, keep posting, do some things you enjoy and that define you as a person. [/QUOTE]
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