conduct disorder

[arnita1956]

I'm at witts end. Don't know how long I can hold it together. Six year adopted great nephew. Nothing seems to phase him as for punishment. If they commit him I don't think there would be any regrets. Have had him since one month old. Biological mother and father have mental problems.

 

[Jena]

Hi

First welcome, this is a great place and has been incredibly supportive for me personally there are alot of great people here.

I can here the desperation in your voice, I'm sorry that it is so hard for you right now. It sounds as though you have given this child your all. I"m sorry to hear about his parents.

Just a few questions if you don't mind........was he ever diagnosed with anything? is he currently on medications?? what types of punishment have you used??

It can be very difficult indeed I know.

Hugs to you for your rough day

Jen

 

[witzend]

Welcome. Can you give us more information as to what types of behaviors he has, what if any diagnosis he has, and what if any medications and/or treatments have been tried?

 

[nvts]

Hi! Welcome to the crowd! Sounds like he's really gotten on just about every raw nerve you've got in your system!

Six? Doesn't react to punishment? What a joy!!!

Calm down, you've found a lot of people who've been through it all!

Here are a few questions:

Has he got a diagnosis?
If so, who diagnosed him? Psychiatrist, psychologist, regular doctor?
Is he taking any medications?
In your post you said his parents had mental problems - what's the diagnosis on them (a lot of this stuff is hereditary!)?
What have you tried with him?
Is he in school? If so, does he act up there too?
Has he had a neuropsychologist done? (that's a boat load of tests done by a neuropsychologist - they test for hours!)
What have you done for you lately?

Sorry to be nosy, but with these answers, we can be a lot more helpful!

Take a big breath, relax and know that you're among friends who are living it with you!

Welcome!
Beth

 

[arnita1956]

diagnosis as adhd, bi polar, odd., Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), all depends on who you ask. Has been on Adderall,Focalin, and now on concertra and depakote. Have taken TV away, beating (probably would be considered abuse)

 

[nvts]

Hey! Well, I guess you can tell that taking tv away and beating aren't gonna do it for him. Have you tried reading the Explosive Child by Ross Greene? It might help you get an idea as to what is running through his mind.

What's he doing? Sounds like a littany of medications!

Who dealt out the diagnosis'?

That's a lot of issues the little guy is dealing with!

He must have really put you through the wringer tonight!

Beth

 

[arnita1956]

Today was diagnosis as ODD and conduct disorder by a behavioral therapist. His father is bi polar and his mother is schizophrenic. In school he is very argumental, has threaten other students, principals and teachers, must have the last word. The past 4 weeks have been in school for 4 days. Now an adult must sit in class with him or he will be kicked out til he turns seven. No neuropsycho test have been done. I have done nothing for myself but cry, scream and pray.

 

[Christy]

Welcome. This site is a great source of support and I'm glad you found it.

My advice would be to ask for help! Ask for help from everybody. Call the mental health association. Ask the school counselor for referals to any communtiy support programs or parenting classes they have available. If you are religious, speak to your minister and ask what family counseling services are availabe.

I wish you the best. Keep us posted on how things are going.
Christy

 

[witzend]

diagnosis as adhd, bi polar, odd., Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), all depends on who you ask. Has been on Adderall,Focalin, and now on concertra and depakote. Have taken TV away, beating (probably would be considered abuse)

Wow, he must have spent a lot of time in the doctor's office for all of those diagnoses, medications, and treatments at such a young age. What are their opinions about taking the tv away and beating him?

 

[BusynMember]

Ok, ok. First of all, do not beat this child. It won't help and you can get into serious trouble. He's sick not bad.
Have you seen a Psychiatrist (with the MD). I'm not a big fan of psychologists or therapists making diagnoses. They never went to medication school. This kid has serious psychiatric issues on the family tree, both that are hereditary. With his history, it seems safer to go to the big gun, the Psychiatrist.It also makes more sense to me to look for signs of bipolar or schizophrenia than something vague like ODD and Conduct Disorder with this sort of history. Also, this is a personal opinion, but I have zilch trust in anyone who diagnoses CD in such a young child. Although your nephew has been on a lot of medications almost all of them have been in the same classification: ADHD stimulants. How long was he on Depakote? That's a bipolar medication, and probably a good one to try, and if it didn't work there are other mood stabilizers, but your nephew may not do well on stims because he doesn't have ADHD. Can you tell us a little bit more? Has he ever said he hears or sees things that aren't there? Does he have sleep issues? Does he rage and seem to be out of control? Does he have any early delays that may have resolved?

 

[looking4hope]

in my humble opinion, CD is a coexisting condition to another diagnosis. Since your difficult child has a bipolar parent, he has a 30% chance of being bipolar (see "The Bipolar Child"). My difficult child's father is bipolar also, and many of the behaviors you are describing are similar to what I experienced.

First, you need to get another diagnosis by a pediatric psychiatrist, not a regular psychiatrist. Behaviors present differently in kids than in adults (again, consult "The Bipolar Child"). I would try to find a nearby university hospital, as most times they are informed of the most recent treatments.

Stimulants made my son more aggressive, violent and destructive, and I think they are doing the same to your difficult child. He may need an atypical psychotic if Depakote doesn't work by itself. This combination has been beneficial for us. But it took two hospitalizations and two psychiatrists to get to the right comvination.

Finally, does your difficult child have an IEP? Since he has an adult aid, I would assume that he does. Part of the IEP is a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP), to help your difficult child have consistent consequences to his behavior. If he doesn't have it, then ask for it. I would also ask the school for a complete psychological profile as well as any deficits in language processing and writing (many ADHD kids have deficits here). This will help the school get your difficult child the help he needs and give you outside resources as well.

Finally, don't beat the child. Did you know that most prisoners have experienced some sort of child abuse, particularly beatings? Violence only begets violence, and it has to stop with each and every one of us. Instead, come up with a household BIP -- explaining what privileges will be taken away for the first offense, the second, etc. It will take a while for him to "get it", but eventually he will. If the two of you can come up with a plan together, and post it where it can be seen, that will help him buy into it.

Good luck, and keep your chin up. These kids are a lot of work, but we're talking about a LIFE, not something that can be replaced. We have a duty as parents/ guardians to ensure that our kids grow up to be healthy, productive members of society. Our kids just force us to go the extra mile (or two or three).