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corporal punishment
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 75829" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Lynnp, you said, ..."where they were recommending taking your child's favorite DVD or Computer Game and shredding it????"</p><p></p><p>It sounds like "Mommie Dearest" when Christina's party dress got shredded because she got a spot on it (or on something) and her mother then made hr wear it for a week. If anyone asked her why she was wearing shredded, dirty rags she had to say, "Because I don't value pretty things." Or similar.</p><p></p><p>I agree with you, and MWM - this sort of demoralising is highly inappropriate. It's wasteful to destroy something and frankly, it's as bad as spanking (worse) because it's STILL an abuse of power. It's still "I'm bigger than you, I can impose my will on you," which is NOT what discipline should be about (but unfortunately, is seen that way by too many people). The ultimate aim of discipline is to teach self-discipline. If you discipline by constantly imposing your will the child will be resentful and rebellious, often using the first available opportunity to break out and deliberately do the wrong things. This means you have failed in the object of your discipline.</p><p></p><p>I do admit, we have made a child give up a toy and give it to someone else, but only when it fitted the crime - a child who stole money from a parent's wallet to buy a toy, was made to give that toy to a charity for needy kids. Nor was he allowed to take credit for his generosity - when the pastor thanked him for his gift, he had to tell the pastor that it wasn't his gift. The pastor had been primed to not be too hard on him - simply having to be honest with the pastor was enough added punishment, buh thankfully the pastor gave him a hug and thanked him for (finally) being honest.</p><p></p><p>The kid never stole again. If we'd destroyed the toy, things could have turned out much worse.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 75829, member: 1991"] Lynnp, you said, ..."where they were recommending taking your child's favorite DVD or Computer Game and shredding it????" It sounds like "Mommie Dearest" when Christina's party dress got shredded because she got a spot on it (or on something) and her mother then made hr wear it for a week. If anyone asked her why she was wearing shredded, dirty rags she had to say, "Because I don't value pretty things." Or similar. I agree with you, and MWM - this sort of demoralising is highly inappropriate. It's wasteful to destroy something and frankly, it's as bad as spanking (worse) because it's STILL an abuse of power. It's still "I'm bigger than you, I can impose my will on you," which is NOT what discipline should be about (but unfortunately, is seen that way by too many people). The ultimate aim of discipline is to teach self-discipline. If you discipline by constantly imposing your will the child will be resentful and rebellious, often using the first available opportunity to break out and deliberately do the wrong things. This means you have failed in the object of your discipline. I do admit, we have made a child give up a toy and give it to someone else, but only when it fitted the crime - a child who stole money from a parent's wallet to buy a toy, was made to give that toy to a charity for needy kids. Nor was he allowed to take credit for his generosity - when the pastor thanked him for his gift, he had to tell the pastor that it wasn't his gift. The pastor had been primed to not be too hard on him - simply having to be honest with the pastor was enough added punishment, buh thankfully the pastor gave him a hug and thanked him for (finally) being honest. The kid never stole again. If we'd destroyed the toy, things could have turned out much worse. Marg [/QUOTE]
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