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could use some advice
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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 414363" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>The "<em>OK, then I won't go to college</em>" line is pure manipulation and is aimed to hurt YOU! If she doesn't want the college education that has been offered to her, that is ultimately HER loss, not yours. If she doesn't take advantage of it, we all know that she will be kicking herself for it later, but it's HER choice. She's almost a grown woman and way too old to be acting so childishly. If she wants the privileges of adulthood, she needs to start acting like an adult and not a spoiled entitled brat! And I'm sorry, but if this were my kid, her world would come to a crashing halt! You do <u>not</u> OWE her a laptop! Or a cell phone! And, for that matter, you do not OWE her a college education! If she's botching up in high school badly enough that she may not even graduate, what makes anyone think that she will be able to handle college? And you certainly do not OWE her a car! If she wants a car, she can get a job and pay for it herself!</p><p> </p><p>I guess I was one of those "mean" mothers. If one of them came home with a bad report card, their young hiney was grounded until the grades came up. If they were late coming home, unless there was a darned good reason and they had called me, they were grounded until I was good and ready to un-ground them! And even if I had had the money to buy them their own cars, I wouldn't have done it! They both worked in high school, after school and weekends, to pay for their first vehicles and insurance. My daughter worked as a CNA in a nursing home - feeding and bathing old people and wiping their butts! My son worked in a convenience store every evening and on weekends. The summer between his junior and senior years in high school he actually worked one full time and two part time jobs for the whole summer! But they both knew that school came first, and that if the grades started suffering, the jobs would have to go. And you know, it didn't hurt either one of them one bit! They matured very quickly, they valued what they had, and they learned that if they wanted something, they had to expect to work for it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 414363, member: 1883"] The "[I]OK, then I won't go to college[/I]" line is pure manipulation and is aimed to hurt YOU! If she doesn't want the college education that has been offered to her, that is ultimately HER loss, not yours. If she doesn't take advantage of it, we all know that she will be kicking herself for it later, but it's HER choice. She's almost a grown woman and way too old to be acting so childishly. If she wants the privileges of adulthood, she needs to start acting like an adult and not a spoiled entitled brat! And I'm sorry, but if this were my kid, her world would come to a crashing halt! You do [U]not[/U] OWE her a laptop! Or a cell phone! And, for that matter, you do not OWE her a college education! If she's botching up in high school badly enough that she may not even graduate, what makes anyone think that she will be able to handle college? And you certainly do not OWE her a car! If she wants a car, she can get a job and pay for it herself! I guess I was one of those "mean" mothers. If one of them came home with a bad report card, their young hiney was grounded until the grades came up. If they were late coming home, unless there was a darned good reason and they had called me, they were grounded until I was good and ready to un-ground them! And even if I had had the money to buy them their own cars, I wouldn't have done it! They both worked in high school, after school and weekends, to pay for their first vehicles and insurance. My daughter worked as a CNA in a nursing home - feeding and bathing old people and wiping their butts! My son worked in a convenience store every evening and on weekends. The summer between his junior and senior years in high school he actually worked one full time and two part time jobs for the whole summer! But they both knew that school came first, and that if the grades started suffering, the jobs would have to go. And you know, it didn't hurt either one of them one bit! They matured very quickly, they valued what they had, and they learned that if they wanted something, they had to expect to work for it. [/QUOTE]
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