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Could you PLEASE just ZIP IT???
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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 156257" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>My difficult child 2 does this to a certain extent when he's trying to "connect" with other kids. Same problem with being clueless about the social skills -- watching others' body language, thinking about what you're about to tell them and how they might receive that information, is it off topic, do they have any frame of reference, are they even interested, etc., etc. </p><p> </p><p>You may continue to get resistence from schools to provide those services until she gets an IEP or until it becomes a major issue in her functioning at school. At least, that's been our experience.</p><p> </p><p>In difficult child 2's case, kids would say he's weird or they'd ostracize him, or worse, they'd decide to target him for teasing and bullying. He was miserable because he was just trying to make friends. He had a hard time figuring out how to start conversations without just bombarding people with a steady stream of facts he'd memorized from his favorite book on [fill in latest obsession]. He didn't understand why people would get frustrated when he would only want to talk about what HE was interested in! And sometimes, he didn't really care if they didn't want to do things his way. Sometimes he'd choose to be alone rather than "bend" to what others wanted to do.</p><p> </p><p>I asked for social skills in 2nd grade for him, he finally got a little bit for about 3 months at the end of the school year, then they lost the person who was running the group and the program dissolved. </p><p> </p><p>I asked for it again in 3rd and 4th grade and all he got was put into a mentor program with older kids to help model appropriate behaviors and interactions. It was okay, but didn't address the specifics for his behaviors.</p><p> </p><p>I asked for it again at the beginning of this year and again got the brush off and he got put in the mentor program, but this time as a mentor for very young kids (Kindergarten Special Education).</p><p> </p><p>THEN, when he got in trouble for the umpteenth time for reacting to bullying and got caught with a Swiss Army knife at school and made some off-hand remarks that got construed as a threat, the school FINALLY got serious about social skills training (and their zero tolerance for bullying!). </p><p> </p><p>After months of assessments and planning, effective this month, he has an IEP in place and is going to a social skills group for 30 minutes twice a week. And it's helping. He's grasping the concepts, he's remembering what they talk about in group, and I'm able to point out examples of what he's learning here at home (like when he takes over a conversation and starts running in another direction with it -- I ask him "what would Dr. H call what you're doing right now?" To which he replies, "Getting off topic?" "RIGHT! Good job! Now what were we really discussing?")</p><p> </p><p>So I guess my final words to you would be to continue to push for it because it CAN help -- no doubt, to varying degrees depending on the child. But doing nothing will certainly result in more of the same, and that's definitely NOT what she needs!</p><p> </p><p>P.S. Something to discuss with your psychiatrist -- if medications aren't optimal, then she won't be able to fully benefit from ANYTHING she's taught. Kind of like trying to teach a kid who needs glasses to read...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 156257, member: 3444"] My difficult child 2 does this to a certain extent when he's trying to "connect" with other kids. Same problem with being clueless about the social skills -- watching others' body language, thinking about what you're about to tell them and how they might receive that information, is it off topic, do they have any frame of reference, are they even interested, etc., etc. You may continue to get resistence from schools to provide those services until she gets an IEP or until it becomes a major issue in her functioning at school. At least, that's been our experience. In difficult child 2's case, kids would say he's weird or they'd ostracize him, or worse, they'd decide to target him for teasing and bullying. He was miserable because he was just trying to make friends. He had a hard time figuring out how to start conversations without just bombarding people with a steady stream of facts he'd memorized from his favorite book on [fill in latest obsession]. He didn't understand why people would get frustrated when he would only want to talk about what HE was interested in! And sometimes, he didn't really care if they didn't want to do things his way. Sometimes he'd choose to be alone rather than "bend" to what others wanted to do. I asked for social skills in 2nd grade for him, he finally got a little bit for about 3 months at the end of the school year, then they lost the person who was running the group and the program dissolved. I asked for it again in 3rd and 4th grade and all he got was put into a mentor program with older kids to help model appropriate behaviors and interactions. It was okay, but didn't address the specifics for his behaviors. I asked for it again at the beginning of this year and again got the brush off and he got put in the mentor program, but this time as a mentor for very young kids (Kindergarten Special Education). THEN, when he got in trouble for the umpteenth time for reacting to bullying and got caught with a Swiss Army knife at school and made some off-hand remarks that got construed as a threat, the school FINALLY got serious about social skills training (and their zero tolerance for bullying!). After months of assessments and planning, effective this month, he has an IEP in place and is going to a social skills group for 30 minutes twice a week. And it's helping. He's grasping the concepts, he's remembering what they talk about in group, and I'm able to point out examples of what he's learning here at home (like when he takes over a conversation and starts running in another direction with it -- I ask him "what would Dr. H call what you're doing right now?" To which he replies, "Getting off topic?" "RIGHT! Good job! Now what were we really discussing?") So I guess my final words to you would be to continue to push for it because it CAN help -- no doubt, to varying degrees depending on the child. But doing nothing will certainly result in more of the same, and that's definitely NOT what she needs! P.S. Something to discuss with your psychiatrist -- if medications aren't optimal, then she won't be able to fully benefit from ANYTHING she's taught. Kind of like trying to teach a kid who needs glasses to read... [/QUOTE]
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