court today - Lord help me

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by amazeofgrace, Jun 6, 2008.

  1. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    So we had court this morning.:rolleyes:

    He was released to me for 60 days of house arrest (he can only go to school/work/or out with me or my parents) followed by a year of probation (with enforced curfew). He wanted to go back to Juvey, to do the 60 days, how sad is that. And now I am stuck with a disgruntle bratt in my house 24/7 to drive me and difficult child II nuts. Sigh I had to ask the judge to put him on house arrest too she was just aiming for the probation and curfew, and she refused to give him community service! :warrior:difficult child I comes home and blows a gasket when he sees his room has been stripped clean of all his ghetto clothing, music and parafanalia. he also has no phone, no music, no video games, no internet and no cable, just a TV with DVD player and plenty of books and paper. My Mom thinks I am setting him up to fail, but I am PO'd he thought JV was Disney World, so this is a "reality check":biting:

    PS: they are making him go to therapy and take any and all drugs prescribed, one good thing
     
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending hugs and prayers for extreme peacefulness to float down on you. Good job on clearing the room before he came home.
     
  3. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I hope he does what he's supposed to.
     
  4. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Good for you, setting the guidelines for him!!

    Sending lots of hugs and strength to get you through. I hope that this gets through to HIM.
     
  5. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Ugh! What a mess! I hope that things will come out well, and pray for your strength.
     
  6. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Hope your time as "warden" will go quickly and difficult child learns to follow the rules......this is YOUR sentence more than his...... Don't think twice about sending him back to juvie. How old is he?
     
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sending supportive hugs your way.
     
  8. change

    change New Member

    I FEEL your pain. Prayers your way. I'm glad you stripped his room...you were nice leaving in the tv. I wouldn't have. The judge (and others) don't know what it's like living with a criminal. They are just making us (the parents) wardens half the time. It's not fair. After these kids reach a certain age, all we can do is continue loving them but THEY have to face the consequences of their actions. Good luck and lots of hugs...............
     
  9. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    17 and one day, we will see if he makes it through the weekend, LOL
     
  10. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Actually, 60 days of juvie is a lot easier than house arrest and probation. Once the time is served, you're done. Nothing to hang over your head. I don't blame him for wanting that. Now he has to worry about behaving for at least a whole year -- poor baby.

    Glad to hear his room is down to bare bones (well, almost bare bones anyway).

    Good luck on being his warden. It is not something any parent should have to do. Hope the time goes quickly and relatively smoothly.
     
  11. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    well I am able to drag him around with me places, much to his dismay, he was dragged to a local baseball game tonight and he was stuck by my side. Now I have to find door alarms because I will be sleeping on the couch 2night in case he thinks he s going out for a late night stroll, he has not touched base with any of his "homeboys" since the incident so he is dying to know what the current "intel" is. UNless he figures out how to do morris code he is out of luck until school Monday anyways. Little does he know they're setting up a desk for him next to the principal's secretary, LOL, Monday should be fun
     
  12. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    in my opinion you were an awfully sweet Mom to have left the TV and dvd player. I wouldn't have. lol

    No fun at all. I hope this turns out to be a major reality check for him. And I hope it's not too rough a road for you.

    Hugs
     
  13. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Wow, I think you are a super duper strong as nails mom! Sending big BIG hugs and support.
     
  14. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    thank you all I do not feel very strong, I feel frustrated it seems like the mental health system does nothing for difficult child II and the criminal justice system does nothing for difficult child I
     
  15. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Not meaning to be offensive - because I know you have gone through hades and back - But what is it exactly you wanted the judge to do? Lock him up? Chances are he would not "learn his lesson" through this. Do you know that once a kid is in jail, or a person, their likelihood of returning is something like 85%? I really don't think you want him to be in another number in the justice system - you really want him to get on the right track. I would partner with this judge and see how you can help him do that. The more he returns to jail, the more likely he is to adapt, and repeat the same behaviors of criminals. I believe the goal is to keep him out of jail, so he does not learn anymore criminal like behaviors, and to try and set the groundwork of success at home. I know it is hard - but prison has only one track record of consequence setting and life changing for our kids - 15%. The rest is up to us.
     
  16. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    I agree Steely, I guess that is my frustration, even after only 6 days difficult child I has come out worse! It is sad that the juvenille correction system can not be more geared toards rehabilitation and psychiatric treatment for these kids, verses being "Disney Land" to many. It just seems like it is a backwards "why bother" system, much like children's mental health services, however I am happy with all of my in ome services for difficult child II so I should clarify my complaint is with emergency children's psychiatric services
     
  17. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't have done the tv and dvd player either, but I can understand why you would. You don't want him looking to you for entertainment 24/7. Then again, M probably would have found a way to bring porn home from school...
     
  18. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    (((hugs)))
     
  19. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Amazeofgrace, how old is your son? My son wants house arrest - his court date is probably in about 2 weeks. I dont think I can handle it - he is 24. I just wondered how old your son is. thanks
     
  20. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Best of luck. I'm glad you took everything out of his rm... almost. He's lucky to have the TV and DVD player.
    Be strong. I'm sending {{hugs}}
     
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