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<blockquote data-quote="Big Bad Kitty" data-source="post: 72723" data-attributes="member: 3647"><p>Terry,</p><p></p><p>You took the words right out of my mouth. Here is another AA-ism that applies quite nicely in this situation.</p><p></p><p>Instead of living in the problem, live in the solution.</p><p></p><p>Problem: Your son is in jail, and you don't want to bring HIS son to see him there, and you don't even like the fact that he is there (and nobody is blaming you for that. Nobody wants their child in jail).</p><p></p><p>Solution: You get to be with that precious grandson every other week. Make the very best of it. Help him draw pictures for daddy. Make a handprint for daddy. Send daddy lots of Kaleb mail. You might just aid daddy in wanting to do right by his son when he gets out.</p><p></p><p>How Ant is acting now (like he will be out in a year, or that this is no big deal) is very likely his defense mechanism. He is probably feeling way worse about the whole thing than he is letting on. Don't let how he acts bother you. Detach, detach, detach. </p><p></p><p>Kaleb's mom may very well tell him that his father is a jailbird. I had to tell Tink that her father is in jail. The sad thing was the lack of reaction that I got from her. These kids are SO desensitized. </p><p></p><p>Continued hugs and prayers for your mommy heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Big Bad Kitty, post: 72723, member: 3647"] Terry, You took the words right out of my mouth. Here is another AA-ism that applies quite nicely in this situation. Instead of living in the problem, live in the solution. Problem: Your son is in jail, and you don't want to bring HIS son to see him there, and you don't even like the fact that he is there (and nobody is blaming you for that. Nobody wants their child in jail). Solution: You get to be with that precious grandson every other week. Make the very best of it. Help him draw pictures for daddy. Make a handprint for daddy. Send daddy lots of Kaleb mail. You might just aid daddy in wanting to do right by his son when he gets out. How Ant is acting now (like he will be out in a year, or that this is no big deal) is very likely his defense mechanism. He is probably feeling way worse about the whole thing than he is letting on. Don't let how he acts bother you. Detach, detach, detach. Kaleb's mom may very well tell him that his father is a jailbird. I had to tell Tink that her father is in jail. The sad thing was the lack of reaction that I got from her. These kids are SO desensitized. Continued hugs and prayers for your mommy heart. [/QUOTE]
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