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CPS issue???
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 411720" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>I agree with Timer - I do think we get hyper aware of yelling. Very good point. I think we get hyper aware mostly because by the time most of us get to the point where we (myself included) realized that we needed help we HAD yelled. Maybe not like the guy on the phone, but we had yelled at our kids and sat down and thought "What was THAT?" Then realized we needed help, felt sorry that we had yelled at an innocent or maybe we didn't feel we had yelled at an 'innocent', but still knew something was wrong. </p><p> </p><p>I tell any parent that thinks they are questioning their abilities as a parent to have a WalMart day. I used to do this with Dude, and even as a young man, at the age of 20 - he's aware and remembers these days. We would go into a WalMart and have "observation" time. Usually it came after he would blurt out hateful things like "You're a horrible Mother or You #O$) as a Mom." Utterances of this sort - invaribly got him - A WM day. </p><p> </p><p>In a WM observation day - you walk in - and the child keeps his hand ON THE CART. That's the deal You keep your hand on the cart the entire shopping trip, say nothing, not a single word, and when you are done, if you complete the entire trip? The child gets to pick out a prize. The prize value was based on my ability to stand in a WM for whatever length of time I could endure it. (not long) 30 minutes would get him a $1.00 toy, 45 minutes - $3.00 toy, if it were an hour trip? Heck - we both got a $5.00 prize. (we earned it). </p><p> </p><p>Rules were simple - Hand on cart, no wandering. Mouth shut - no talking - just observing other Moms and how they talk to their kids and how their kids talk to their Moms. Discussion after leaving store - Did you see BADLY behaved children? Did you see badly behaved Moms/Dads? How did it look in public? Do you want others to see you behaving like that in public, didn't look very good did it? It usually got a good conversation out of him - and we'd have lunch, then he'd get his toy. It taught me a lot too, about how I didn't want to behave or look in public. It helped me to take Dude out of the store when he was mis-behaving instead of doing the almighty parenting correct in mid-aisle which I hate. Like "I'll show everyone how good of a parent I am - I'll correct you right here." Wrong----take the kid to the potty - or take him outside - noone is going to steal your WM cart. And for pity sake if he's crying? Leave the store, and come back later. WOW -is that, that hard of a concept? WOW. </p><p> </p><p>So I get what Linda is saying - maybe we do get too sensitive to it, but one thing I won't stand for is to see a parent jerking a kid around anywhere - abuse is abuse and it won't happen in front of these eyes. Spanking is one thing - that's your private matter - three swats and all - but jerking a little one all over the place like a rag doll? I have stepped in on those - and on men abusing women. Maybe I do need to reel it back in a little over the words. Thanks Timer.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 411720, member: 4964"] I agree with Timer - I do think we get hyper aware of yelling. Very good point. I think we get hyper aware mostly because by the time most of us get to the point where we (myself included) realized that we needed help we HAD yelled. Maybe not like the guy on the phone, but we had yelled at our kids and sat down and thought "What was THAT?" Then realized we needed help, felt sorry that we had yelled at an innocent or maybe we didn't feel we had yelled at an 'innocent', but still knew something was wrong. I tell any parent that thinks they are questioning their abilities as a parent to have a WalMart day. I used to do this with Dude, and even as a young man, at the age of 20 - he's aware and remembers these days. We would go into a WalMart and have "observation" time. Usually it came after he would blurt out hateful things like "You're a horrible Mother or You #O$) as a Mom." Utterances of this sort - invaribly got him - A WM day. In a WM observation day - you walk in - and the child keeps his hand ON THE CART. That's the deal You keep your hand on the cart the entire shopping trip, say nothing, not a single word, and when you are done, if you complete the entire trip? The child gets to pick out a prize. The prize value was based on my ability to stand in a WM for whatever length of time I could endure it. (not long) 30 minutes would get him a $1.00 toy, 45 minutes - $3.00 toy, if it were an hour trip? Heck - we both got a $5.00 prize. (we earned it). Rules were simple - Hand on cart, no wandering. Mouth shut - no talking - just observing other Moms and how they talk to their kids and how their kids talk to their Moms. Discussion after leaving store - Did you see BADLY behaved children? Did you see badly behaved Moms/Dads? How did it look in public? Do you want others to see you behaving like that in public, didn't look very good did it? It usually got a good conversation out of him - and we'd have lunch, then he'd get his toy. It taught me a lot too, about how I didn't want to behave or look in public. It helped me to take Dude out of the store when he was mis-behaving instead of doing the almighty parenting correct in mid-aisle which I hate. Like "I'll show everyone how good of a parent I am - I'll correct you right here." Wrong----take the kid to the potty - or take him outside - noone is going to steal your WM cart. And for pity sake if he's crying? Leave the store, and come back later. WOW -is that, that hard of a concept? WOW. So I get what Linda is saying - maybe we do get too sensitive to it, but one thing I won't stand for is to see a parent jerking a kid around anywhere - abuse is abuse and it won't happen in front of these eyes. Spanking is one thing - that's your private matter - three swats and all - but jerking a little one all over the place like a rag doll? I have stepped in on those - and on men abusing women. Maybe I do need to reel it back in a little over the words. Thanks Timer. [/QUOTE]
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