Creeping

[JJJ]

How well does everyone supervise their child's online activity? Piglet was driving me nuts because random phone checks were useless cause she deleted her messages as they came in. She is now on a smartphone with parental control software so even if she deletes them, I can still see them. Now, there is no way I will be reading her hundreds of texts per day but I will spot check. She, of course, is not happy

I also check her facebook page regularly and delete (or make her delete) inappropriate stuff. I think she is a pretty typical teenager so she mostly makes good choices but occassionally makes a really bad one.

She calls me the "creeper" and I tell her that I'm thinking of getting a t-shirt with "World's Greatest Creeper" on the front and "Sext my daughter and I'll call your mom." on the back.

 

[svengandhi]

I think that Piglet is showing a great sense of humor about your checking up on her. She will appreciate it some day. Tonight, H, daughter, babyboy and I went to dinner with a family we know. Their son is babyboy's classmate and their D is 15. My daughter is 21 and I overheard her telling this girl - "You should be happy if your mom nags you about doing well and not doing dumb things on line because it means she cares." At 15, daughter was complaining about me the same way Piglet complains about you but not with as much humor. You are doing the right thing and someday Piglet will appreciate it. On that day, you can wear your t-shirt!

 

[HaoZi]

Thus far it hasn't been an issue. Kiddo has a Tracphone and the only numbers programmed in it are mine, my boyfriend's, and her grandparents. She wants to show me everywhere she goes online and she's a firm believer in that thing about how she's under 13 so she has to have my permission to start an account on ANY site kind of thing. She likes to roam my FB feed for the funny stuff but that's all the FB stuff she does since she "can't have one until she's 13 according to their rules."

 

[confuzzled]

i creep.

actually, i dont creep--i do it blatantly....often right in front of mine. i make absolutely no apologies for it. to be honest, mine is a pretty good kid...its more about whats coming in rather than whats going out.

and once i get past the eye rolling, mind numbing boredom of "rates and dates" and "top 10 lists" i usually glean some kind of very interesting information. the kids are a great source of news...during the hurricane they were about the only ones who could get online and they had running updates to storm damage and pizza places that were still open.

i'm all for privacy, but the internet itself took away that right anyway. i just monitor it.

 

[Wiped Out]

When my difficult child gets a facebook page I know I'll be creeping because he'll constantly be asking me how to spell something! The only people he texts are husband and myself and he hasn't done that since he has gotten his new phone. We do have controls so he can't download games on his phone which we had to put in place because someone at school showed him how to do it last year and we ended up with a two or three hundred dollar phone bill!

 

[AnnieO]

I will randomly check Onyxx's page but she knows how to hide stuff and, well... I give. As far as Jett, he's not on facebook yet but he deletes all texts from his phone. Which gets him in trouble every time we check... He loses it for a predetermined amount of time, gets it back, still does the same thing. GAH. Then again, I'm not nearly as worried with him... He probably fills it with video game stuff from the "friend" of bio's who called husband and I names - probably deletes because he knows this guy is really not our favorite person...

 

[susiestar]

I haven't heard it called creeping, but my kids know that if I cannot see what they are doing and their browser history, they don't have computer access. It isn't up for debate and I don't care if they don't like it. So far J and T haven't complained at all, but I really don't care if they do. As for deleting texts as they come in so I cannot see them? It means no phone and maybe never a phone while you live in my home. Just like their rooms can be searched at any time. I generally don't search their rooms, texts, etc... but I reserve the right to do so and they can gripe all they want but it just makes me more suspicious.

 

[DammitJanet]

You do know you can delete individual browser history selections and not the entire browser history right? I learned that a long time ago when I didnt want to make it look suspicious like I was deleting daily. I just removed what I didnt want anyone to know where I was going.

 

[susiestar]

Oh, yes I lmow that. Nut we have the router set up to save the history and my kids don't have access to that Not just parental controls keep them out, the router is on a different computer than the one the kids can use. I usually check the history on their browser against the one on the router's computer When they don't match, that is when there is some 'splainin' to do.

 

[greenrene]

Well, back when difficult child actually had a phone and was allowed to use the computer, I watched it like a hawk and, like susiestar, I made no apologies for it whatsoever. I told her that there is no such thing as a "right to privacy" and that I could and would check her phone and internet usage any time I felt inclined. Even so, she still got away (temporarily) with doing things she wasn't supposed to. Now she has no phone and isn't allowed on the internet at ALL because she just can't handle it. We do plan to get her a new cell phone when her grades are at an acceptable level, but the phone is going to be Android with the Watchdog software service installed. She cannot be trusted at ALL to either behave appropriately or tell the truth, but she is also at an age where having a phone can come in handy when she's at activities, etc.

 

[JJJ]

I'm glad to know we have lots of creepers on here! I do it right in front of the kids as well -- part of the my house, my rules thing

 

[DammitJanet]

I am glad my kids hit at the right ages with phones. When we had cell phones and they used them, we had the old bar phones that didnt even take pictures or text. They could talk but that was it. Cory was horrible with my webcam and doing IM texting on the computer though. He went through that stage for about 2 or 3 years and I had to keep my computer in either my bedroom or in the living room so we could constantly watch him. He never had a computer of his own. It made it hard for him to abuse the webcam if the computer was next to my bed...lol.