Cross your fingers please.

[DDD]

easy child/difficult child has to make a decision within the next two days. He is either going to opt
for his friends ("I don't call them friends...I call them family") or for our choice of taking a stab at a new path. He and "his family" think I am "manipulating" him and
"want to run his life". Surprise...his "Mother" a/k/a GFGmom agrees.

Truthfully (and without tears but with a heavy heart) I think he's going to flush his easy child side and go difficult child. He "doesn't care if he is homeless" "will always have meals from his family" and "doesn't want to leave the life he lives".

It's going to be hard to let hope go. If he doesn't pay big bucks to Probation on Wed he will be "violated" and sent to jail. Then within a week the Judge can decide to put him put him on a payment plan. That means, of course, he will remain in the
system and be subject to harrassment by the local police.

I can't say I'm shocked but it's his choice. husband and I will always love him but we will no longer cover his back and walk at his side. If he didn't have the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) perhaps it wouldn't be so heartwrenching. Who knows. Maybe it would be.

Anyway, I'd like some subtle CD support this week. DDD

 

[HaoZi]

Rattling beads for you hon.

 

[Nancy]

You've got it DDD, you have certainly been there for me. I understand how hard it is to give up hope. I think that's one of the things that's most difficult for me. Why can't they see the long term consequences of the decisions they make. I know your heart is heavy and you wish you could influence him to do the right thing. I'm sending all my support and understanding.

Nancy

 

[toughlovin]

DDD - They are definitely crossed... He may discover over time that his "family" is not so helpful and wonderful after all. And jail, although awful, may be a HUGE wakeup call for him. At least it was for my son who at least currently seems to be doing well in rehab and i have hope again. Hope is one of those things that can come and go..... Hang in there.

 

[Fran]

Gentle hugs. Sometimes despite all the love, discipline, rewards, consequences they still make the wrong choice and never learn from their mistakes. You have done everything you can.

 

[everywoman]

Just a hug. I had to make the same decision recently regarding my difficult child and it is very difficult, but I had to do something to save him and myself because nothing else has worked.

 

[Estherfromjerusalem]

DDD, you have my love and support. You and your husband have been wonderful and done everything and more for your difficult child grandson. Now it's up to him.

Hugs. Love, Esther

 

[CrazyinVA]

I'm sorry. Sending support from this corner as well.

 

[witzend]

3D, I'm so sorry. This is such a disappointment. It sounds so much like M. I don't know why they think this way, but they do. Big hugs...

 

[KTMom91]

Hugs and support headed your way.

 

[katya02]

Crossing fingers and sending hugs. It's so hard to watch our kids do this. You've done so much and have been
there for him; at some point he'll remember that. I'm sorry.

 

[ThreeShadows]

I've never been accused of being subtle. All my love and support go out to you and your difficult child. Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) is an awful affliction.

 

[susiestar]

Sending lots of love and support and strength. I am so sorry it has come to this. You have done so much, given so much, and truly want only the best for him. It must be so heartbreaking to see him throw all of that away with difficult child choices. You have my love and my respect, regardless of what happens.

 

[Hound dog]

Saying and prayer and sending hugs.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Prayers and (((HUGS))).....

 

[shellyd67]

Fingers crossed and toes too ...

 

[scent of cedar]

DDD, a therapist told me once that everything I had put into my child was still there, and would come to the forefront when he needed them most. You have loved this child and taught him well.

Gentle hugs, DDD.

Barbara

 

[DammitJanet]

DDD, Im so sorry that he seems to be making this decision. Sure isnt what we had hoped for. Like you, Im just afraid that between the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and the damage he has done to his brain drinking and using drugs in the past, he is pretty much setting himself up for a marginal life. I do hope he can keep away from the cops. That would be a blessing.

You have to know you did all you could do. I will still pray he comes to his senses.