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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 540706" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>I'm in the different side of this. I have strived most of my life towards mediocrity and I am very happy to have achieved that. </p><p></p><p>Both my parents were very driven and passionate people and while what is normally considered successful was not something they wanted to, they were both successful on their own goals. I grew to hate that intensity from a young age and decided early that I really wanted to be mediocre. And I have been. There have been few flares of drivenness in me, but I have found my way back to mediocrity. I have watched when people I went to University with have made much more high flying careers than I even though I tended to be more talented back then. But I decided early to mommy-track my career and have been very happy with that decision. I have been working in the job related to my degree after I spent my boys' first years as stay-at-home mom but I have certainly not been ambitious about it. I have made sure to work enough to guarantee my independence and make sure I could support myself and my kids comfortably even if something happened to husband who is our main breadwinner. He isn't that driven either (I wouldn't had married him, if he was) and we are happy in our mediocrity. </p><p></p><p>We don't expect drivenness or giving their all from our kids either. We would be perfectly happy with them doing what they need to achieve their goals, whatever they are. easy child has his goals high and works for those and one could consider him somewhat driven. His grades are good (around 90-92 in the scale there lowest passing grade is 50, which makes him to be around top 5 % of his class) and he works hard for his sport. Less would be enough for us, but we do support his drive for these things. difficult child is even more passionate than simply driven. In fact he unfortunately does remind me of my dad at times. His internal motivation for his sport is huge and he does have also some passion for academics in areas that interest him. He does only do what is needed for the classes he is not interested of. But because of his school troubles we have asked more from him in grade wise than from easy child. If easy child ends up with for example 80 from class (around top 20-30 %), we don't care, but difficult child knows we don't intervene with how he does his school when the grades stay over 90. Currently his GPA is around 96-97 (making him top 1 % of his class and also nationally.) difficult child is very high-strung and intense individual and I don't think anything we did caused it and I also don't think you can make your kid that, if that is not who they are. You can make them practise but you can not force that internal drive and passion.</p><p></p><p>While I really hated that intensity when I was young, I have learned to also appreciate and admire that passion. Partly because I have matured and detached from my parents and partly seeing that same intensity in my own kid. But still it is not something I would hope for anyone I love.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 540706, member: 14557"] I'm in the different side of this. I have strived most of my life towards mediocrity and I am very happy to have achieved that. Both my parents were very driven and passionate people and while what is normally considered successful was not something they wanted to, they were both successful on their own goals. I grew to hate that intensity from a young age and decided early that I really wanted to be mediocre. And I have been. There have been few flares of drivenness in me, but I have found my way back to mediocrity. I have watched when people I went to University with have made much more high flying careers than I even though I tended to be more talented back then. But I decided early to mommy-track my career and have been very happy with that decision. I have been working in the job related to my degree after I spent my boys' first years as stay-at-home mom but I have certainly not been ambitious about it. I have made sure to work enough to guarantee my independence and make sure I could support myself and my kids comfortably even if something happened to husband who is our main breadwinner. He isn't that driven either (I wouldn't had married him, if he was) and we are happy in our mediocrity. We don't expect drivenness or giving their all from our kids either. We would be perfectly happy with them doing what they need to achieve their goals, whatever they are. easy child has his goals high and works for those and one could consider him somewhat driven. His grades are good (around 90-92 in the scale there lowest passing grade is 50, which makes him to be around top 5 % of his class) and he works hard for his sport. Less would be enough for us, but we do support his drive for these things. difficult child is even more passionate than simply driven. In fact he unfortunately does remind me of my dad at times. His internal motivation for his sport is huge and he does have also some passion for academics in areas that interest him. He does only do what is needed for the classes he is not interested of. But because of his school troubles we have asked more from him in grade wise than from easy child. If easy child ends up with for example 80 from class (around top 20-30 %), we don't care, but difficult child knows we don't intervene with how he does his school when the grades stay over 90. Currently his GPA is around 96-97 (making him top 1 % of his class and also nationally.) difficult child is very high-strung and intense individual and I don't think anything we did caused it and I also don't think you can make your kid that, if that is not who they are. You can make them practise but you can not force that internal drive and passion. While I really hated that intensity when I was young, I have learned to also appreciate and admire that passion. Partly because I have matured and detached from my parents and partly seeing that same intensity in my own kid. But still it is not something I would hope for anyone I love. [/QUOTE]
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