Cutting things, not himself Help needed

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by CCRidr2, May 19, 2007.

  1. CCRidr2

    CCRidr2 Sheena-Warrior Momma

    Is cutting things a pre-cursor to cutting oneself? Our difficult child took husband's HUGE fishing knife out of the tackle box and cut his brother's jumprope in half because of something brother did nearly a week ago!

    Does anyone else's difficult child do this and if so do they hold on to stuff that long?

    difficult child is supposed to have a sleepover tonight and I don't want to disappoint anyone but how can I bring anyone else in the house when I can't even control HIM or know if something that this friend does will set him off again? Friend is in my humble opinion an undiagnosed difficult child himself and they often argue over rules of the game, who's turn it is, etc.

    difficult child is already a mess today because he didn't get enough sleep last night and I just don't want to DEAL with this other kid! Even my love bug of a dog is on my very last nerve! :rolleyes:

    husband says it is not "friend's" fault that difficult child can't control himself and we shouldn't disappoint him. I just want to SCREAM! I need a :bath: and we haven't had dinner yet and I just want to crawl in bed with a bottle of wine and never come out! Help here would be appreciated!

    Thanks for letting me vent!

    Cyndi :smile:
  2. CCRidr2

    CCRidr2 Sheena-Warrior Momma

    Ok, well sleepover is off, difficult child strikes again! :rolleyes:
  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Oh hon.

  4. CCRidr2

    CCRidr2 Sheena-Warrior Momma

    thank you :crying:
  5. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Care to share? I'm all ears.
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My difficult child does not hold on to stuff that long. That seems a long time to hold on to something for a 9 year old. I would make sure all knives and sharp objects are locked up-(we had to do that with our difficult child). Hugs to you-if you decide to have the sleepover I hope all goes well. :angel:
  7. ROE

    ROE New Member

    I'm so sorry this has been a rough night. My difficult child did not hold on to things that long. He's the exact opposite-reacts/overreacts immediately without thinking. My difficult child had very poor impulse control especially when he was younger. He did alot of foolish destructive things not necessarily out of retaliation (sometimes yes). I did lock up or keep out of sight knives, camp axes, power tools etc...

    I don't think that cutting things is necessarily a pre-cursor to cutting oneself. My difficult child was sometimes in the mood to "carve or cut"(to this day I have carvings in wood work, chunks hacked out of the work bench etc...grrrr)When I caught him messing around with the camp ax I locked it away-gave him a small pocket knife and a pile of scrap wood.

    I know you said that your difficult child cut the rope in retaliation and maybe he did, but maybe he did it out of poor impulse control but he felt the need to give you a reason why when you asked. I dont' know, just a thought. When I would question my difficult child, "Why is there a gash in the sofa?, a hole drilled in the garden hose? etc.." initially he would lie and tell me he didn't do it minutes later he would confess (he had no choice-it was either him or the dog) but he never had a reason or excuse for why he did what he did.

    If its any consolation, for as much destruction as my difficult child caused over the years, he never was and still is not a cutter.

    I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
  8. WNC Gal

    WNC Gal New Member

    For our child, her very first troublesome symptoms WERE self-injury.. so we are always on "high alert" to watch what sorts of objects she is collecting and her other behaviors. She seems to be more impulsive while beginning to "crash" which is really a mixed state mood. And that impulsive behavior might be playing with her sisters aggressively until they cry, "showing off" by waving around knives while preparing breakfast, collecting dangerous objects (vials of mercury from thermostats!), etc. She has never had rages nor episodes of true destructive mania - but in the weeks prior to each crash, she definitely starts obsessing about morbid subjects, starts doing things a bit outrageous (wanting to clean skylights on the roof, jumping into polluted water).

    Again - this probably has absolutely NOTHING to do with your child - and I HOPE it doesn't - but for us, there are definitely patterns with impulsive and unusual behavior.
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    N is a grudge holder, she always has been. At 9 she could've held on to one alot longer than your difficult child. (this she gets from my Mom, the queen of grudge holders)

    I don't think this is a precurser to self harming. Probably what happened was that difficult child saw the rope, recalled whatever happened, and saw his chance and in his mind retaliated. Or like someone else said, he just gave you an excuse when you asked about it.

    My difficult child used to distroy stuff all of the time. His bedroom walls were pocked with holes, you'd pick up something and never knew if it would still be working.... Nearly drove me over the edge til I discovered a neighbor who's boy did the same thing. 99% of T's wasn't even out of malice. And if I'd try to nail down why sometimes he'd come up with the strangest excuses. :rolleyes:

    I'm sorry it's been a tough day. And for what it's worth, when my difficult child's were having trouble keeping it together they weren't allowed to have friends over. The last thing I needed was more kids to add to the mix. :faint:

  10. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Mine could hold a grudge for months and cutting something up that belonged to whomever she was angry at was her first choice of revenge. Second choice was "coloring" it with whatever she could find. The grudge-holding started at about 5 and hasn't stopped. The only difference is she is more sophisticated in how she gets even today.