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Daddy's girl and Mommy's boy
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<blockquote data-quote="RhondaVoos" data-source="post: 192196" data-attributes="member: 5868"><p>We have had a phsych evaluation and son was diagnosed with ODD, ADHD and attachment "issues" Considering that the more that is wrong with a child, the more foster care pays, we had him re evaluated after adoption. The only thing that "stuck" was ADHD. I think for the most part, we had worked through attachment issues by this time. He makes friends easily, and is firmly bonded with me and his sister, kind of wobbly with Dad. I was laying awake thinking last night, and realized that sons biggest triggers with Dad are stealing and lying, something Dad just does not do or accept. The more he likes you, the more likely he is to steal something from you. Hardly surprising in a child that was on his 8th set of "parents" by age 4. This is a reason, not an excuse. Probably wants something to remember you by when you abandon him too. He has now been with us as long as he was in foster care, so is having to come to grips with the fact that we might actually be keeping him. So this year has been as bad emotionally as the first one. We (mostly I) use Love and Logic with him and works pretty well. Dad forgets.... Maybe find him a refresher. Therapy in our town is a joke. All I hear is he needs play therapy which involves him and 8 other kids tearing around a room like chimps at the zoo while somebody takes notes. These sessions always left him exhausted and hostile. I am a firm believer that our son must adapt to the world, because the world is not going to adapt to him. Some one here wrote that you prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child. I agree. I love the idea of taping husband growling at him. One of the smartest purchased I made when they came to us was a security camera on an 80 ft cord so that I could supervise them without rewarding their attention seeking behaviors with attention. Hooks up to the vcr too, have made them watch their behavior, but never thought of using it on husband. This kid has come a million miles, but still has anger issues. Who wouldn't? We are working on appropriate ways for him to display temper other than escalating until hysterics. Thank you all for the support, I may be here a lot this week. Feeling ancient and defeated. Son was a little charmer this morning, but the day is young. Daughter was sullen. husband is feeling guilty about last night so is being falsely cheerful this morning ugh! I am feeling detached.</p><p> </p><p>by the way- Voos is not my last name (good catch Marguerite) rendevous....RhondaVoos....get it? My big brothers used to drive me crazy calling me that, among other things.....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RhondaVoos, post: 192196, member: 5868"] We have had a phsych evaluation and son was diagnosed with ODD, ADHD and attachment "issues" Considering that the more that is wrong with a child, the more foster care pays, we had him re evaluated after adoption. The only thing that "stuck" was ADHD. I think for the most part, we had worked through attachment issues by this time. He makes friends easily, and is firmly bonded with me and his sister, kind of wobbly with Dad. I was laying awake thinking last night, and realized that sons biggest triggers with Dad are stealing and lying, something Dad just does not do or accept. The more he likes you, the more likely he is to steal something from you. Hardly surprising in a child that was on his 8th set of "parents" by age 4. This is a reason, not an excuse. Probably wants something to remember you by when you abandon him too. He has now been with us as long as he was in foster care, so is having to come to grips with the fact that we might actually be keeping him. So this year has been as bad emotionally as the first one. We (mostly I) use Love and Logic with him and works pretty well. Dad forgets.... Maybe find him a refresher. Therapy in our town is a joke. All I hear is he needs play therapy which involves him and 8 other kids tearing around a room like chimps at the zoo while somebody takes notes. These sessions always left him exhausted and hostile. I am a firm believer that our son must adapt to the world, because the world is not going to adapt to him. Some one here wrote that you prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child. I agree. I love the idea of taping husband growling at him. One of the smartest purchased I made when they came to us was a security camera on an 80 ft cord so that I could supervise them without rewarding their attention seeking behaviors with attention. Hooks up to the vcr too, have made them watch their behavior, but never thought of using it on husband. This kid has come a million miles, but still has anger issues. Who wouldn't? We are working on appropriate ways for him to display temper other than escalating until hysterics. Thank you all for the support, I may be here a lot this week. Feeling ancient and defeated. Son was a little charmer this morning, but the day is young. Daughter was sullen. husband is feeling guilty about last night so is being falsely cheerful this morning ugh! I am feeling detached. by the way- Voos is not my last name (good catch Marguerite) rendevous....RhondaVoos....get it? My big brothers used to drive me crazy calling me that, among other things..... [/QUOTE]
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