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Darnit- where is his brain
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 134360" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>klmno - </p><p></p><p></p><p>My son had a horrifically hard time in school. The anxiety was overwhelming for him and it trickled down to me at home in a blast-cap sort of way. Finally I had him placed in 1/2 Sped classes. It was the recommendation of the school and I fought so hard to keep him out of it. I was correct - the stigma of being in Special Education is not repairable. He still thinks he's stupid. He still remembers the "short bus" comments. And honestly he didn't do any better in those classes - and now at 17 he has about a 7th grade education and is struggling so hard through GED classes - I can only say he came to the realization that in his own words he ****** his education away. </p><p></p><p>I think to fight a child about homework or nag them is futile. Eventually you will get them to do something if they don't have a complete and utter melt down first but at what cost - I don't think they feel the sense of consequence like we do. I am sure they dont' feel the sense of pride like we do when the get something accomplished or stay out of trouble. I DO think that they will spend MORE energies on trying to avoid something simple than actually doing whatever has been asked and THAT is the mystery of difficult child to me. </p><p></p><p>Could you have offered him an alternative to writing in pencil? Could you have challenged him to a race where both of you write the same thing and see who finishes first? A dare if you will? How about offering him a 1st choice - You write the sentences and then we'll........(something fun). Or You don't write the sentences and you are grounded for 3 days. Honestly I found a week was too long for having any meaningful effect on grounding. It actually created more problems with me mostly and until I set up the rules - and on the rules was writing assignments - if they were not completed he got to come home from school every day no tv, no stereo, no games and sit in his room on his bed until dinner, eat and then back to bed. He could do punitive assignments standing on his head - and we would always say out loud - Three days of sitting in your room with no fun seemed like the poor choice when writing 25 sentences would have gotten you your freedom. Eventually he would write - it was a small baby step. </p><p></p><p>We also canceled any and I mean ANY fun thing we had planned if the punishment fell on that day. Those days i would love to have back - It seems we did NOTHING growing up with difficult child. He was ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS bucking the system. I think in his mind he did it to punish us. Eventually we started going places without him. </p><p></p><p>I don't have a solid answer - but i do know if the school district is threatening you - I'd get a civil rights attorney today. If this is your battle to keep difficult child out of SPED - I get the feeling - maybe like I said you can agree to 1/2 days in SPED - goes to home room and later goes to SPED for some classes he's having the most trouble in - then extra curricular activities like band or art. Ends the day on the long bus...? </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 134360, member: 4964"] klmno - My son had a horrifically hard time in school. The anxiety was overwhelming for him and it trickled down to me at home in a blast-cap sort of way. Finally I had him placed in 1/2 Sped classes. It was the recommendation of the school and I fought so hard to keep him out of it. I was correct - the stigma of being in Special Education is not repairable. He still thinks he's stupid. He still remembers the "short bus" comments. And honestly he didn't do any better in those classes - and now at 17 he has about a 7th grade education and is struggling so hard through GED classes - I can only say he came to the realization that in his own words he ****** his education away. I think to fight a child about homework or nag them is futile. Eventually you will get them to do something if they don't have a complete and utter melt down first but at what cost - I don't think they feel the sense of consequence like we do. I am sure they dont' feel the sense of pride like we do when the get something accomplished or stay out of trouble. I DO think that they will spend MORE energies on trying to avoid something simple than actually doing whatever has been asked and THAT is the mystery of difficult child to me. Could you have offered him an alternative to writing in pencil? Could you have challenged him to a race where both of you write the same thing and see who finishes first? A dare if you will? How about offering him a 1st choice - You write the sentences and then we'll........(something fun). Or You don't write the sentences and you are grounded for 3 days. Honestly I found a week was too long for having any meaningful effect on grounding. It actually created more problems with me mostly and until I set up the rules - and on the rules was writing assignments - if they were not completed he got to come home from school every day no tv, no stereo, no games and sit in his room on his bed until dinner, eat and then back to bed. He could do punitive assignments standing on his head - and we would always say out loud - Three days of sitting in your room with no fun seemed like the poor choice when writing 25 sentences would have gotten you your freedom. Eventually he would write - it was a small baby step. We also canceled any and I mean ANY fun thing we had planned if the punishment fell on that day. Those days i would love to have back - It seems we did NOTHING growing up with difficult child. He was ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS bucking the system. I think in his mind he did it to punish us. Eventually we started going places without him. I don't have a solid answer - but i do know if the school district is threatening you - I'd get a civil rights attorney today. If this is your battle to keep difficult child out of SPED - I get the feeling - maybe like I said you can agree to 1/2 days in SPED - goes to home room and later goes to SPED for some classes he's having the most trouble in - then extra curricular activities like band or art. Ends the day on the long bus...? Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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