Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Daughter does it again! Long angry rant (LAR).
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="DazedandConfused" data-source="post: 190731" data-attributes="member: 831"><p>I truly cannot express how grateful I am for all of your kind, sympathic, and informative responses. I cling to them like a lifesaver in very rough seas. </p><p> </p><p>First off, Daughter has never had an "official" diagnoses. At one point, a psychiatrist was calling it Bipolar, but I just don't think it was a proper fit for her. She's also had "mood disorder" pinned to her. However, two other psychiatrists disagreed and told me she did not fit the diagnostic descriptions. To be perfectly candid, after all I have researched on it, I tend to agree. </p><p> </p><p>She's had three years of therapy with two different therapists. Mostly for depression. I know she feels like an oddball. In hindsite, I think it was somewhat helpful. However, what I always really wanted for her was to have cognitive behavioral therapy along with peer group therapy. I've never been able to find it. Everything is so focused on either severe mental illness, or abused and neglected children, or old people. </p><p> </p><p>She's had a lot of support of the years from school counselors and administrators. Though last term, and in summer school, she had this one teacher who, to make a very long story short, targeted her with constant harassment. This teacher, in my opinion, is/was emotionally unstable. I won't go into all that had happened, but it ended up with me filing a formal complaint. Plus, I may be making myself vulnerable to slander, but I've been telling ANYONE, AND EVERYONE, about this woman and what my daughter went through with her. She's a 28 year veteran with tenure and it won't be easy to get rid of her. So, everyone I know that has a kid going to that school I not-so-descretly tell them to NOT allow their child in her class. Yes, she works for the same district as me. The one advantage I have with that is that when I wrote that three page letter, I knew right where to hit the district to make them listen. It even got the principal to come back early from his summer vacation to get with the DO to figure out what they are going to do about her. </p><p> </p><p>Anyway...back to the subject at hand. </p><p> </p><p>I didn't even think about a sedative for her. If I had thought, even remotely, that this was going to happen, I would have insisted on that beforehand. She was fine until she found out the Dr wasn't going to use a general on her. She fought the alternative and when she realized the extractions weren't going to happen, that is when she unleashed the beast. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She also was starving along with not having such sleep. I know, a recipe for disaster. I had been encouraging her all week to adjust her sleep schedule for school. She just blew me off like she does most of the time until she wants something from me. Still, I didn't suspect she was so full of anxiety until she freaked about the general. Of course, later that night after she crashed for a few hours, she gets up and tells me that she had been talking to anyone and everyone (all teenagers) who has had their wisdom teeth out and they were telling her all these horror stories. Just great. She got herself to wound up that inside she was a ticking time bomb.</p><p> </p><p>I was honest with her about the pain. She wouldn't feel it while they extracted them, but she would be sore for at time afterwards. However, I would make sure she was prescribed PLENTY of pain medication so that she would be comfortable. Of course, I'm Mom and anything I have to say doesn't matter. What her friends say is all that matters.</p><p> </p><p>Marg, as far as the phone. My behavior was silly and mello-dramatic. I've taken her phone so many darn times. She lost it for nearly a year not so long ago. This one she's only had since April. It's a poweful tool to control her negative behavior, but at the time, I just wanted it gone and no way to get it back. I had suprised her with it. She was grateful AT FIRST. Then, in a few months she whining that she wants something else. </p><p> </p><p>As far as caring about what other people think. Yes, I do care to a certain degree. I admit it. I think it is perfectly reasonable and normal. Will I get over this? Yes, of course. It doesn't eat at me or consume me. I know that we are probably the gossip of the office today and the topic of many people's dinner table conversations. It's humiliating. Ultimately, does it matter? No, it doesn't. Still I need to be honest with myself so that I can cope with the pain of yesterday. Having it put on public display was very painful for me.</p><p> </p><p>To give you an idea, when my parents divorced, it was on the front page of our local newspaper (My Dad was a city official). Horrible things were written them and my family was very hurt. I was a teenager, and people, ADULTS, would walk right up to me and tell me what a loser my Dad was. It was devastating for me to have private family business put out for public display. Obviously, if someone were to walk to up me today, I would verbally smack them with a 2 X 4 on the head. I guess, Daughter's behavior just pushes all those buttons again. It's really for the first the time that I am considering just how affected I am about what happened all those years ago and how Daughter's behavior affects me now. </p><p> </p><p>gvcmom, that is a wonderful idea. I think I might do something similiar with Son. He doesn't meltdown like Daughter, but he does over the top stuff too when it comes to medical, dental, and eyecare (he wears glasses). If I give everyone a heads up they are better prepared for some of his antics. </p><p> </p><p>Anyway, Daughter has always struggled with her negative emotions. I know they overwhelm her at times. Mostly, though, she seems to handle it okay. But, <em>have I been living so close to the fire for so long that I don't notice how hot it is?</em> I don't know, anymore. Daughter does have a lot of typical teenager behavior minus the over the top outbursts. It's hard for me to separate the typical teen from the difficult child.</p><p> </p><p>She's suppose to graduate early this year, as long as she passes the language arts portion of the exit exam. She has her driver's permit. She wants to get a job, but really hasn't applied herself. At this age, I was in school and working nearly full time. I had a car and my own money.This along with living with a narcisstic, alcoholic parent. </p><p> </p><p>As far as medication, I don't know. She's real anti right now. She's been on several. Wellbutrin worked well for a while as did Depakote. When those became less effective, we went to the psychiatrist and tried zoloft. She never gave it much of a chance and stopped taking it after a few days. She hates taking anything. Even when she has a headache she doesn't like taking anything.</p><p> </p><p>I think I need to take her out to dinner and have a long conversation with her. I've got so much going on. I'm working on a research paper and the deadline is the 15th. I don't know if I'm going to make it in time. Once it's done, I still have to present my findings. I guess, if she's willing, we will shlep back to the psychiatrist and see if he has any ideas.</p><p> </p><p>I'm still trying to figure out exactly what direction I am going to go. I really appreciate that I have you all to vent it out to.</p><p> </p><p>Again, please accept my deepest appreciation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DazedandConfused, post: 190731, member: 831"] I truly cannot express how grateful I am for all of your kind, sympathic, and informative responses. I cling to them like a lifesaver in very rough seas. First off, Daughter has never had an "official" diagnoses. At one point, a psychiatrist was calling it Bipolar, but I just don't think it was a proper fit for her. She's also had "mood disorder" pinned to her. However, two other psychiatrists disagreed and told me she did not fit the diagnostic descriptions. To be perfectly candid, after all I have researched on it, I tend to agree. She's had three years of therapy with two different therapists. Mostly for depression. I know she feels like an oddball. In hindsite, I think it was somewhat helpful. However, what I always really wanted for her was to have cognitive behavioral therapy along with peer group therapy. I've never been able to find it. Everything is so focused on either severe mental illness, or abused and neglected children, or old people. She's had a lot of support of the years from school counselors and administrators. Though last term, and in summer school, she had this one teacher who, to make a very long story short, targeted her with constant harassment. This teacher, in my opinion, is/was emotionally unstable. I won't go into all that had happened, but it ended up with me filing a formal complaint. Plus, I may be making myself vulnerable to slander, but I've been telling ANYONE, AND EVERYONE, about this woman and what my daughter went through with her. She's a 28 year veteran with tenure and it won't be easy to get rid of her. So, everyone I know that has a kid going to that school I not-so-descretly tell them to NOT allow their child in her class. Yes, she works for the same district as me. The one advantage I have with that is that when I wrote that three page letter, I knew right where to hit the district to make them listen. It even got the principal to come back early from his summer vacation to get with the DO to figure out what they are going to do about her. Anyway...back to the subject at hand. I didn't even think about a sedative for her. If I had thought, even remotely, that this was going to happen, I would have insisted on that beforehand. She was fine until she found out the Dr wasn't going to use a general on her. She fought the alternative and when she realized the extractions weren't going to happen, that is when she unleashed the beast. She also was starving along with not having such sleep. I know, a recipe for disaster. I had been encouraging her all week to adjust her sleep schedule for school. She just blew me off like she does most of the time until she wants something from me. Still, I didn't suspect she was so full of anxiety until she freaked about the general. Of course, later that night after she crashed for a few hours, she gets up and tells me that she had been talking to anyone and everyone (all teenagers) who has had their wisdom teeth out and they were telling her all these horror stories. Just great. She got herself to wound up that inside she was a ticking time bomb. I was honest with her about the pain. She wouldn't feel it while they extracted them, but she would be sore for at time afterwards. However, I would make sure she was prescribed PLENTY of pain medication so that she would be comfortable. Of course, I'm Mom and anything I have to say doesn't matter. What her friends say is all that matters. Marg, as far as the phone. My behavior was silly and mello-dramatic. I've taken her phone so many darn times. She lost it for nearly a year not so long ago. This one she's only had since April. It's a poweful tool to control her negative behavior, but at the time, I just wanted it gone and no way to get it back. I had suprised her with it. She was grateful AT FIRST. Then, in a few months she whining that she wants something else. As far as caring about what other people think. Yes, I do care to a certain degree. I admit it. I think it is perfectly reasonable and normal. Will I get over this? Yes, of course. It doesn't eat at me or consume me. I know that we are probably the gossip of the office today and the topic of many people's dinner table conversations. It's humiliating. Ultimately, does it matter? No, it doesn't. Still I need to be honest with myself so that I can cope with the pain of yesterday. Having it put on public display was very painful for me. To give you an idea, when my parents divorced, it was on the front page of our local newspaper (My Dad was a city official). Horrible things were written them and my family was very hurt. I was a teenager, and people, ADULTS, would walk right up to me and tell me what a loser my Dad was. It was devastating for me to have private family business put out for public display. Obviously, if someone were to walk to up me today, I would verbally smack them with a 2 X 4 on the head. I guess, Daughter's behavior just pushes all those buttons again. It's really for the first the time that I am considering just how affected I am about what happened all those years ago and how Daughter's behavior affects me now. gvcmom, that is a wonderful idea. I think I might do something similiar with Son. He doesn't meltdown like Daughter, but he does over the top stuff too when it comes to medical, dental, and eyecare (he wears glasses). If I give everyone a heads up they are better prepared for some of his antics. Anyway, Daughter has always struggled with her negative emotions. I know they overwhelm her at times. Mostly, though, she seems to handle it okay. But, [I]have I been living so close to the fire for so long that I don't notice how hot it is?[/I] I don't know, anymore. Daughter does have a lot of typical teenager behavior minus the over the top outbursts. It's hard for me to separate the typical teen from the difficult child. She's suppose to graduate early this year, as long as she passes the language arts portion of the exit exam. She has her driver's permit. She wants to get a job, but really hasn't applied herself. At this age, I was in school and working nearly full time. I had a car and my own money.This along with living with a narcisstic, alcoholic parent. As far as medication, I don't know. She's real anti right now. She's been on several. Wellbutrin worked well for a while as did Depakote. When those became less effective, we went to the psychiatrist and tried zoloft. She never gave it much of a chance and stopped taking it after a few days. She hates taking anything. Even when she has a headache she doesn't like taking anything. I think I need to take her out to dinner and have a long conversation with her. I've got so much going on. I'm working on a research paper and the deadline is the 15th. I don't know if I'm going to make it in time. Once it's done, I still have to present my findings. I guess, if she's willing, we will shlep back to the psychiatrist and see if he has any ideas. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what direction I am going to go. I really appreciate that I have you all to vent it out to. Again, please accept my deepest appreciation. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Daughter does it again! Long angry rant (LAR).
Top