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Parent Emeritus
Daughter in jail, yet again.
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 764564" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Michelle, </p><p>Welcome to the forum, so sorry for your need to be here.</p><p>First off, if this your name, we are advised to use aliases for privacy reasons and also our protection. There are unscrupulous people online and we must be careful!</p><p></p><p>Ten years is a long time to have skin in this “game”. You must be exhausted. </p><p></p><p></p><p>This is all too familiar to me. Late hubs and I tried desperately to help our two (especially with grands in the mix). Who knows why they make the choices they do? It’s absolute insanity. </p><p></p><p>Im sorry for your aching heart. It is so hard around the holidays. </p><p> Good for you. Sometimes going no contact is what we need to build strength and gain respite from the craziness and drama. </p><p></p><p></p><p>These are the kinds of consequences our wayward adult kids suffer due to their poor choices. It is something they must face. All we want is for our kids to grow up and lead productive lives. When that doesn’t happen it is not an easy pill to swallow. Many of us here have done the same, tried for years to “help”our adult kids choose a normal lifestyle. But, in actuality it’s not up to us, it’s up to them. We cannot control what they do. When we step in and offer to “fix” things, they are more than willing to take advantage of us and keep making poor choices. </p><p></p><p>It is eye opening. We have all “been there, done that”. Please don’t beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself, you have been through a lot. It is not an easy journey.</p><p></p><p></p><p>It is hard for us to change our ways after years of stepping in. It feels foreign. I still have a hard time, but know that my two wayward daughters never got better at home, and we all suffered the chaos. I miss the girls I raised. But, they are adults and will do as they choose. It takes time to soothe our heart aches. </p><p></p><p>I’m so sorry that this is your reality. I hope you have security devices for your home. I have a motion activated camera at my front door and will get more for around my home. My fear is that my two will break into my house when I’m not home. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I pray for you and urge you to take steps to protect yourselves and your home. I don’t know if there is a way you can alert the police so they are aware of your situation, or if you need to get a restraining order. </p><p>Keep posting, it helps a lot to write it out and receive responses from the kind folks here. </p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>New Leaf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 764564, member: 19522"] Hi Michelle, Welcome to the forum, so sorry for your need to be here. First off, if this your name, we are advised to use aliases for privacy reasons and also our protection. There are unscrupulous people online and we must be careful! Ten years is a long time to have skin in this “game”. You must be exhausted. This is all too familiar to me. Late hubs and I tried desperately to help our two (especially with grands in the mix). Who knows why they make the choices they do? It’s absolute insanity. Im sorry for your aching heart. It is so hard around the holidays. Good for you. Sometimes going no contact is what we need to build strength and gain respite from the craziness and drama. These are the kinds of consequences our wayward adult kids suffer due to their poor choices. It is something they must face. All we want is for our kids to grow up and lead productive lives. When that doesn’t happen it is not an easy pill to swallow. Many of us here have done the same, tried for years to “help”our adult kids choose a normal lifestyle. But, in actuality it’s not up to us, it’s up to them. We cannot control what they do. When we step in and offer to “fix” things, they are more than willing to take advantage of us and keep making poor choices. It is eye opening. We have all “been there, done that”. Please don’t beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself, you have been through a lot. It is not an easy journey. It is hard for us to change our ways after years of stepping in. It feels foreign. I still have a hard time, but know that my two wayward daughters never got better at home, and we all suffered the chaos. I miss the girls I raised. But, they are adults and will do as they choose. It takes time to soothe our heart aches. I’m so sorry that this is your reality. I hope you have security devices for your home. I have a motion activated camera at my front door and will get more for around my home. My fear is that my two will break into my house when I’m not home. I pray for you and urge you to take steps to protect yourselves and your home. I don’t know if there is a way you can alert the police so they are aware of your situation, or if you need to get a restraining order. Keep posting, it helps a lot to write it out and receive responses from the kind folks here. (((Hugs))) New Leaf [/QUOTE]
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Daughter in jail, yet again.
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