Daughter in jail, yet again.

[ANewLife4Me]

Hello everyone, I have read so many of your stories….big hugs to all!

My story is of my 31 year old daughter, who has multiple mental issues including schizophrenia. She refuses therapy or medications unless court ordered or is on medication while in jail. Soon as she is released from jail or court she is done with medications and therapy. 10 years her Dad and I have been there for her, bailed her out of jail and gave her a place to live. Coming out from jail with nothing but the clothes on her back, we had to buy everything, bed - clothes, paid her court fees until she found a job. This has been multiple times we have restarted her, gotten her license back, she saved money and finally bought a car, had a job for 3 years. I don’t know what happened to her this past March of 2023 but it happened all over again. She decided living in her car was way better than living with us and she left. Had not heard a word from her in 9 months until we received that call from jail……….

Her Dad and I TOLD her do not call us if you get in again. Since that call in November 2023 my life has been ruined. Thanksgiving and Christmas was nothing but crying as well as the days in between. God sent me a sign as I was thinking of changing my phone number, said no….will do it tomorrow but, a bail bondsman called me a month and a half since she has been in. I guess she figured we would cave at this point but, we are serious in not helping this time. I changed my phone number that very day.

While she has been in jail her car insurance was canceled for non payment. Was due in August 2023 and they finally gave her enough time I guess. Her car is financed so most likely will be repossessed. I am flipping my lid thinking she will actually be on the streets, no shelter at all. All that work from us getting it all together for her and it’s lost yet again.

I am in therapy and my therapist started some of my recovery with a book - Setting Boundaries with your Adult Children by Allison Bottke. My mother was and so am I an enabler. Seeing how I contributed to this was eye opening! Another book called - When Your Adult Child Breaks Your Heart by Joel Young finds me as the co-dependent. His book goes more into dealing with mental illness and jail. I understand fully what I need to do, to change. But WHY is my heart so broken to not help? Why do I fear her showing up at my door begging us to help her, to be strong and turn her away? She can get violent, so I am really worried that she will be super mad at us as we are the only ones to help her, no family or friends does she have. I have a strong desire to move so I won’t be in fear every time we go outside she could hurt us.

Thank you for reading, sorry this was so long.

 

[ANewLife4Me]

Hello everyone, I have read so many of your stories….big hugs to all!

My story is of my 31 year old daughter, who has multiple mental issues including schizophrenia. She refuses therapy or medications unless court ordered or is on medication while in jail. Soon as she is released from jail or court she is done with medications and therapy. 10 years her Dad and I have been there for her, bailed her out of jail and gave her a place to live. Coming out from jail with nothing but the clothes on her back, we had to buy everything, bed - clothes, paid her court fees until she found a job. This has been multiple times we have restarted her, gotten her license back, she saved money and finally bought a car, had a job for 3 years. I don’t know what happened to her this past March of 2023 but it happened all over again. She decided living in her car was way better than living with us and she left. Had not heard a word from her in 9 months until we received that call from jail……….

Her Dad and I TOLD her do not call us if you get in again. Since that call in November 2023 my life has been ruined. Thanksgiving and Christmas was nothing but crying as well as the days in between. God sent me a sign as I was thinking of changing my phone number, said no….will do it tomorrow but, a bail bondsman called me a month and a half since she has been in. I guess she figured we would cave at this point but, we are serious in not helping this time. I changed my phone number that very day.

While she has been in jail her car insurance was canceled for non payment. Was due in August 2023 and they finally gave her enough time I guess. Her car is financed so most likely will be repossessed. I am flipping my lid thinking she will actually be on the streets, no shelter at all. All that work from us getting it all together for her and it’s lost yet again.

I am in therapy and my therapist started some of my recovery with a book - Setting Boundaries with your Adult Children by Allison Bottke. My mother was and so am I an enabler. Seeing how I contributed to this was eye opening! Another book called - When Your Adult Child Breaks Your Heart by Joel Young finds me as the co-dependent. His book goes more into dealing with mental illness and jail. I understand fully what I need to do, to change. But WHY is my heart so broken to not help? Why do I fear her showing up at my door begging us to help her, to be strong and turn her away? She can get violent, so I am really worried that she will be super mad at us as we are the only ones to help her, no family or friends does she have. I have a strong desire to move so I won’t be in fear every time we go outside she could hurt us.

Thank you for reading, sorry this was so long.

Sorry that I forgot to say she loves alcohol and drugs. People who have schizophrenia when using either of these can become extremely violent and thus my great fear of when she gets out of jail. The jail is within a 2 hours walk from us and am pretty confident our home will be the first place she comes too. Please pray for us that no violence occurs.

 

[ksm]

I'm so sorry you are going thru this, but it's good that you and your hubby are seeing a professional.

We may not have advice or answers, but we know what you are going through. Hugs. Ksm

 

[ANewLife4Me]

I'm so sorry you are going thru this, but it's good that you and your hubby are seeing a professional.

We may not have advice or answers, but we know what you are going through. Hugs. Ksm

Hello and thank you KSM. Sometimes no answers are okay, just someone to listen is amazing. I hope to help others as well, share our common issues but no 2 children are going to be the same. We struggle together no matter the issues and thankful for the support here.

 

[New Leaf]

Hi Michelle,
Welcome to the forum, so sorry for your need to be here.
First off, if this your name, we are advised to use aliases for privacy reasons and also our protection. There are unscrupulous people online and we must be careful!

10 years her Dad and I have been there for her, bailed her out of jail and gave her a place to live. Coming out from jail with nothing but the clothes on her back, we had to buy everything, bed - clothes, paid her court fees until she found a job.

Ten years is a long time to have skin in this “game”. You must be exhausted.

This has been multiple times we have restarted her, gotten her license back, she saved money and finally bought a car, had a job for 3 years. I don’t know what happened to her this past March of 2023 but it happened all over again. She decided living in her car was way better than living with us and she left. Had not heard a word from her in 9 months until we received that call from jail……….

This is all too familiar to me. Late hubs and I tried desperately to help our two (especially with grands in the mix). Who knows why they make the choices they do? It’s absolute insanity.

Since that call in November 2023 my life has been ruined. Thanksgiving and Christmas was nothing but crying as well as the days in between.

Im sorry for your aching heart. It is so hard around the holidays.

God sent me a sign as I was thinking of changing my phone number, said no….will do it tomorrow but, a bail bondsman called me a month and a half since she has been in. I guess she figured we would cave at this point but, we are serious in not helping this time. I changed my phone number that very day.

Good for you. Sometimes going no contact is what we need to build strength and gain respite from the craziness and drama.

While she has been in jail her car insurance was canceled for non payment. Was due in August 2023 and they finally gave her enough time I guess. Her car is financed so most likely will be repossessed. I am flipping my lid thinking she will actually be on the streets, no shelter at all. All that work from us getting it all together for her and it’s lost yet again.

These are the kinds of consequences our wayward adult kids suffer due to their poor choices. It is something they must face. All we want is for our kids to grow up and lead productive lives. When that doesn’t happen it is not an easy pill to swallow. Many of us here have done the same, tried for years to “help”our adult kids choose a normal lifestyle. But, in actuality it’s not up to us, it’s up to them. We cannot control what they do. When we step in and offer to “fix” things, they are more than willing to take advantage of us and keep making poor choices.

Seeing how I contributed to this was eye opening!

It is eye opening. We have all “been there, done that”. Please don’t beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself, you have been through a lot. It is not an easy journey.

I understand fully what I need to do, to change. But WHY is my heart so broken to not help?

It is hard for us to change our ways after years of stepping in. It feels foreign. I still have a hard time, but know that my two wayward daughters never got better at home, and we all suffered the chaos. I miss the girls I raised. But, they are adults and will do as they choose. It takes time to soothe our heart aches.

I have a strong desire to move so I won’t be in fear every time we go outside she could hurt us.

I’m so sorry that this is your reality. I hope you have security devices for your home. I have a motion activated camera at my front door and will get more for around my home. My fear is that my two will break into my house when I’m not home.

Sorry that I forgot to say she loves alcohol and drugs. People who have schizophrenia when using either of these can become extremely violent and thus my great fear of when she gets out of jail. The jail is within a 2 hours walk from us and am pretty confident our home will be the first place she comes too. Please pray for us that no violence occurs.

I pray for you and urge you to take steps to protect yourselves and your home. I don’t know if there is a way you can alert the police so they are aware of your situation, or if you need to get a restraining order.
Keep posting, it helps a lot to write it out and receive responses from the kind folks here.
(((Hugs)))
New Leaf

 

[ANewLife4Me]

Hi Michelle,
Welcome to the forum, so sorry for your need to be here.
First off, if this your name, we are advised to use aliases for privacy reasons and also our protection. There are unscrupulous people online and we must be careful!

Ten years is a long time to have skin in this “game”. You must be exhausted.


This is all too familiar to me. Late hubs and I tried desperately to help our two (especially with grands in the mix). Who knows why they make the choices they do? It’s absolute insanity.

Im sorry for your aching heart. It is so hard around the holidays.
Good for you. Sometimes going no contact is what we need to build strength and gain respite from the craziness and drama.


These are the kinds of consequences our wayward adult kids suffer due to their poor choices. It is something they must face. All we want is for our kids to grow up and lead productive lives. When that doesn’t happen it is not an easy pill to swallow. Many of us here have done the same, tried for years to “help”our adult kids choose a normal lifestyle. But, in actuality it’s not up to us, it’s up to them. We cannot control what they do. When we step in and offer to “fix” things, they are more than willing to take advantage of us and keep making poor choices.

It is eye opening. We have all “been there, done that”. Please don’t beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself, you have been through a lot. It is not an easy journey.


It is hard for us to change our ways after years of stepping in. It feels foreign. I still have a hard time, but know that my two wayward daughters never got better at home, and we all suffered the chaos. I miss the girls I raised. But, they are adults and will do as they choose. It takes time to soothe our heart aches.

I’m so sorry that this is your reality. I hope you have security devices for your home. I have a motion activated camera at my front door and will get more for around my home. My fear is that my two will break into my house when I’m not home.


I pray for you and urge you to take steps to protect yourselves and your home. I don’t know if there is a way you can alert the police so they are aware of your situation, or if you need to get a restraining order.
Keep posting, it helps a lot to write it out and receive responses from the kind folks here.
(((Hugs)))
New Leaf

Thank you New Leaf, you’re the second person to tell me about my name. I have to wait until a certain time goes by to change it.

I have read your story with your daughters, my heart breaks for you especially with grands involved….your in my prayers.

I have 3 security cameras but feel like I need the entire house wired for how great my fear is. My husband is not as worried but has not been through as much as I have with her and her violence.

This definitely is new for me not jumping in and saving the day. My biggest fear is finally coming true, out on the streets, no car for shelter….nothing. I am 58 and the desire to have a life not focused on my children is great because of getting older. Who knows if I was younger how many more years I would have done this?

Thank you for your kind words, they mean very much to me. (( HUGS))

 

[Worndown68]

Hello everyone, I have read so many of your stories….big hugs to all!

My story is of my 31 year old daughter, who has multiple mental issues including schizophrenia. She refuses therapy or medications unless court ordered or is on medication while in jail. Soon as she is released from jail or court she is done with medications and therapy. 10 years her Dad and I have been there for her, bailed her out of jail and gave her a place to live. Coming out from jail with nothing but the clothes on her back, we had to buy everything, bed - clothes, paid her court fees until she found a job. This has been multiple times we have restarted her, gotten her license back, she saved money and finally bought a car, had a job for 3 years. I don’t know what happened to her this past March of 2023 but it happened all over again. She decided living in her car was way better than living with us and she left. Had not heard a word from her in 9 months until we received that call from jail……….

Her Dad and I TOLD her do not call us if you get in again. Since that call in November 2023 my life has been ruined. Thanksgiving and Christmas was nothing but crying as well as the days in between. God sent me a sign as I was thinking of changing my phone number, said no….will do it tomorrow but, a bail bondsman called me a month and a half since she has been in. I guess she figured we would cave at this point but, we are serious in not helping this time. I changed my phone number that very day.

While she has been in jail her car insurance was canceled for non payment. Was due in August 2023 and they finally gave her enough time I guess. Her car is financed so most likely will be repossessed. I am flipping my lid thinking she will actually be on the streets, no shelter at all. All that work from us getting it all together for her and it’s lost yet again.

I am in therapy and my therapist started some of my recovery with a book - Setting Boundaries with your Adult Children by Allison Bottke. My mother was and so am I an enabler. Seeing how I contributed to this was eye opening! Another book called - When Your Adult Child Breaks Your Heart by Joel Young finds me as the co-dependent. His book goes more into dealing with mental illness and jail. I understand fully what I need to do, to change. But WHY is my heart so broken to not help? Why do I fear her showing up at my door begging us to help her, to be strong and turn her away? She can get violent, so I am really worried that she will be super mad at us as we are the only ones to help her, no family or friends does she have. I have a strong desire to move so I won’t be in fear every time we go outside she could hurt us.

Thank you for reading, sorry this was so long.

I feel for you, our lives are very similar and it’s so difficult to cut the heart strings. Hugs

 

[ANewLife4Me]

I feel for you, our lives are very similar and it’s so difficult to cut the heart strings. Hugs

HUGS back to you! It’s very interesting how similar our stories are, all this time thought our situation was unique. I pray for you to remain strong and continue what’s best for you and you alone.

 

[MandaC]

Hello everyone, I have read so many of your stories….big hugs to all!

My story is of my 31 year old daughter, who has multiple mental issues including schizophrenia. She refuses therapy or medications unless court ordered or is on medication while in jail. Soon as she is released from jail or court she is done with medications and therapy. 10 years her Dad and I have been there for her, bailed her out of jail and gave her a place to live. Coming out from jail with nothing but the clothes on her back, we had to buy everything, bed - clothes, paid her court fees until she found a job. This has been multiple times we have restarted her, gotten her license back, she saved money and finally bought a car, had a job for 3 years. I don’t know what happened to her this past March of 2023 but it happened all over again. She decided living in her car was way better than living with us and she left. Had not heard a word from her in 9 months until we received that call from jail……….

Her Dad and I TOLD her do not call us if you get in again. Since that call in November 2023 my life has been ruined. Thanksgiving and Christmas was nothing but crying as well as the days in between. God sent me a sign as I was thinking of changing my phone number, said no….will do it tomorrow but, a bail bondsman called me a month and a half since she has been in. I guess she figured we would cave at this point but, we are serious in not helping this time. I changed my phone number that very day.

While she has been in jail her car insurance was canceled for non payment. Was due in August 2023 and they finally gave her enough time I guess. Her car is financed so most likely will be repossessed. I am flipping my lid thinking she will actually be on the streets, no shelter at all. All that work from us getting it all together for her and it’s lost yet again.

I am in therapy and my therapist started some of my recovery with a book - Setting Boundaries with your Adult Children by Allison Bottke. My mother was and so am I an enabler. Seeing how I contributed to this was eye opening! Another book called - When Your Adult Child Breaks Your Heart by Joel Young finds me as the co-dependent. His book goes more into dealing with mental illness and jail. I understand fully what I need to do, to change. But WHY is my heart so broken to not help? Why do I fear her showing up at my door begging us to help her, to be strong and turn her away? She can get violent, so I am really worried that she will be super mad at us as we are the only ones to help her, no family or friends does she have. I have a strong desire to move so I won’t be in fear every time we go outside she could hurt us.

Thank you for reading, sorry this was so long.

 

[Copabanana]

MandaC. I suggest you post your own new thread so that people will see this.

 

[Deni D]

Michelle ~ I made a change in the background, you should be able to change your user name now. If you can't, let me know by responding here or sending me a private message by selecting the envelope on the top right of your screen, then selecting "start a new conversation", then fill in my userid "Deni D" and any title and content telling me what you want your new user id to be.

I understand the push and pull of what to do, not to do for your daughter.

First ~ to keep yourself safe it might be a good idea to be proactive with your local police department. I think I'd call and make an appointment with them to discuss your daughters mental health and see how they handle "Baker Acting" someone. I think both you and your husband should meet with them together. If they seem to understand then good, if not then watching out for your safety by locking up at all times and having a good escape plan (like a day or few in a different location) just in case will help. Take a deep breath, I've been in both the over the top panic mode and the this could not possibly be happening mode at the same time. Clear mind, just in case, protect yourself and it's no one else's business if you take a vacation 10 miles down the road with great room service and a really nice pool for a few days.

Second ~ You are now entering a new phase and you don't know what to expect from your daughter. Your have said "enough" to your daughter who has never dealt with "enough" from you before so you are frightened of what her response will be, what will happen to her. Has she been hospitalized before? How many times? What have the charges been when she has been in jail? It doesn't seem right that she has been jailed just for mental health issues. I'm asking so I can understand why she has to be jailed to take medication.

We here know it's all about boundaries, and you will work through what you will and won't do for her eventually going forward. This is a turning point for you, your husband, and for her.

.

 

[Copabanana]

Michelle

I think this new post is from MandaC.

My situation has a lot of similarities. My son has been homeless for the most part since I kicked him out 12 years ago. He is 35 now. I don't know if he has Schizophrenia but he well could have. He is paranoid and he receives SSI. So much of what you describe about how you feel, I feel. Even though I have been on this board for 8 years. The heartache recedes but it never leaves.

I will just say something about the book reading. I think posting on this board is way more effective. The problem is that for a combination of reasons it has gotten very slow over the years. I found the most helpful thing, to be posting on other people's threads, but there are not so many anymore. But back to the books. I don't believe in the labels. either co-dependent or enabler. That's blaming the victim.

This is the hardest thing in the whole world, having a chronically mentally ill child. Deni gave you very good advice. It may be that the Mental Health crisis team in your community and/or the police will intervene. In my small city there is a rescue mission that will put people up in shared homes and subsidize their care if they are indigent and vulnerable. Technically these are sober living homes, but i have a patient who lives in one and she has no substance issues. I know that just vulnerable or mentally ill people can live there, too. My son lived there several times.

What I am trying to say is that there are other community resources besides you. She has to learn to avail herself of these. My son only thinks of me when he needs something. It causes me the deepest pain. Today before I came here, I felt like I wanted to die, the pain is so great. But I feel better writing to you.

I think you did the right thing to refuse to even think of paying her bail. She is better off in jail. If she is psychotic they will force her to take medication and then more than likely she will continue on her own, as long as she is incarcerated. I worked many years in prison and painfully, and sadly mentally ill people are often better off there. It pains me to write this, but it is so.

But right now the person to focus on is you. Please think about starting your own new thread. Deni will help you. Then the half a dozen of people who ar active now, on the boar will wrap their arms around you and help you survive this. Almost all of us who are here now now are in situations comparable to yours.. Welcome.

 

[ANewLife4Me]

Michelle ~ I made a change in the background, you should be able to change your user name now. If you can't, let me know by responding here or sending me a private message by selecting the envelope on the top right of your screen, then selecting "start a new conversation", then fill in my userid "Deni D" and any title and content telling me what you want your new user id to be.

I understand the push and pull of what to do, not to do for your daughter.

First ~ to keep yourself safe it might be a good idea to be proactive with your local police department. I think I'd call and make an appointment with them to discuss your daughters mental health and see how they handle "Baker Acting" someone. I think both you and your husband should meet with them together. If they seem to understand then good, if not then watching out for your safety by locking up at all times and having a good escape plan (like a day or few in a different location) just in case will help. Take a deep breath, I've been in both the over the top panic mode and the this could not possibly be happening mode at the same time. Clear mind, just in case, protect yourself and it's no one else's business if you take a vacation 10 miles down the road with great room service and a really nice pool for a few days.

Second ~ You are now entering a new phase and you don't know what to expect from your daughter. Your have said "enough" to your daughter who has never dealt with "enough" from you before so you are frightened of what her response will be, what will happen to her. Has she been hospitalized before? How many times? What have the charges been when she has been in jail? It doesn't seem right that she has been jailed just for mental health issues. I'm asking so I can understand why she has to be jailed to take medication.

We here know it's all about boundaries, and you will work through what you will and won't do for her eventually going forward. This is a turning point for you, your husband, and for her.

.

My husband actually works in mental health here and the baker act is only for those who are wanting to commit suicide or harm another. Even so if they are taken to the mental hospital it’s for a 3 days stay only then to be put right back into the streets to continue as they were. Unfortunately my husband deals with this everyday and while so heartbreaking just for us but, so so many as well.

I have been in contact with the law and filled out papers for a restraining order. I have video of her attacking me, we had a cop come out the night she left who witnessed her aggression, she left willingly on her own and yet, my petition was denied as the judge cited not a reason for eviction. In no way did I elude this was for eviction, she had already left for goodness sake! I tell everyone I see about this restraining order being denied and say….I clearly see how people are being abused and murdered, the courts are not for the victims that’s for sure.

She is still in jail and has a court ordered competency evaluation that needs to be done before they can proceed. I have emailed her lawyer of places I have taken her for help and medications she has been on. Also since my last post her finance company found her car and have had it towed. Now for sure there is no shelter for her when she gets out. We live in a small town and there are absolutely no resources here, no shelters not even within walking distance. Her license was suspended yet again as she did not pay for her car insurance, we have gotten her license back SO many times it’s expensive! I just don’t see without transportation how she will make it. This is her 2nd car repossession there is no way anyone will finance her for a long, long time. So in emailing her lawyer I begged for her to be placed in some sort of treatment facility, ordered by the court.

She has never spent any time in a mental health facility. This recent jail time she did not like the treatment she received at an emergency room, became hostile towards staff and wound up hitting one of them on the cheek with a closed fist. Time before that she was jailed for driving under the influence and received a felony for that as she licked the officers arm…..really? time before that putting her fist through someone’s window, another time driving on a suspended license.

It’s all I am going to do, am waiting on pins and needles wondering what the outcome will be and how it will affect us in the future.

 

[ANewLife4Me]

I think this new post is from MandaC.

My situation has a lot of similarities. My son has been homeless for the most part since I kicked him out 12 years ago. He is 35 now. I don't know if he has Schizophrenia but he well could have. He is paranoid and he receives SSI. So much of what you describe about how you feel, I feel. Even though I have been on this board for 8 years. The heartache recedes but it never leaves.

I will just say something about the book reading. I think posting on this board is way more effective. The problem is that for a combination of reasons it has gotten very slow over the years. I found the most helpful thing, to be posting on other people's threads, but there are not so many anymore. But back to the books. I don't believe in the labels. either co-dependent or enabler. That's blaming the victim.

This is the hardest thing in the whole world, having a chronically mentally ill child. Deni gave you very good advice. It may be that the Mental Health crisis team in your community and/or the police will intervene. In my small city there is a rescue mission that will put people up in shared homes and subsidize their care if they are indigent and vulnerable. Technically these are sober living homes, but i have a patient who lives in one and she has no substance issues. I know that just vulnerable or mentally ill people can live there, too. My son lived there several times.

What I am trying to say is that there are other community resources besides you. She has to learn to avail herself of these. My son only thinks of me when he needs something. It causes me the deepest pain. Today before I came here, I felt like I wanted to die, the pain is so great. But I feel better writing to you.

I think you did the right thing to refuse to even think of paying her bail. She is better off in jail. If she is psychotic they will force her to take medication and then more than likely she will continue on her own, as long as she is incarcerated. I worked many years in prison and painfully, and sadly mentally ill people are often better off there. It pains me to write this, but it is so.

But right now the person to focus on is you. Please think about starting your own new thread. Deni will help you. Then the half a dozen of people who ar active now, on the boar will wrap their arms around you and help you survive this. Almost all of us who are here now now are in situations comparable to yours.. Welcome.

This is not Mandi C post but mine, I think she already made a post of her own months ago….her situation is similar to mine I think as to why she quoted it.

I responded to Deni so no need to repeat everything but unfortunately there are no resources here for us.

 

[Copabanana]

My husband actually works in mental health here and the baker act is only for those who are wanting to commit suicide or harm another.

It may be different in California, which is where I live and work, but here the law applies to danger to self, others and gravely disabled. Your daughter may be gravely disabled.

 

[Deni D]

New Life,

My husband actually works in mental health here and the baker act is only for those who are wanting to commit suicide or harm another. Even so if they are taken to the mental hospital it’s for a 3 days stay only then to be put right back into the streets to continue as they were.

It's the same by me with the involuntary hospitalizations. But then after a number of 3 days stays they bump it up to 10 days. The 10 day stays helped my son. I was thinking because she has harmed you and you are afraid she will again it would be a reason for the baker act. With your husband working in mental health field he would know about any resources and you've said there are none in the area, it's a shame. My son was able to get an apartment provided by a non-profit mental health organization he found out about through a hospital social worker. They also provided van transportation to doctors and food banks, but they weren't reliable. I put him on my uber for transportation.

She is still in jail and has a court ordered competency evaluation that needs to be done before they can proceed.

Do you know what they will do if she is found not competent? I hope it means they will get her some help.

 

[ANewLife4Me]

It may be different in California, which is where I live and work, but here the law applies to danger to self, others and gravely disabled. Your daughter may be gravely disabled.

Quite possible with all of her mental conditions, we are in Florida which has tons of help in the big cities. I am praying they court order her to something in the city. Our small town where my husband works they are a mobile response team to deescalate situations and only the police or hospital can make the call to baker act someone. It’s really hard to get any help in our area.

 

[ANewLife4Me]

New Life,

It's the same by me with the involuntary hospitalizations. But then after a number of 3 days stays they bump it up to 10 days. The 10 day stays helped my son. I was thinking because she has harmed you and you are afraid she will again it would be a reason for the baker act. With your husband working in mental health field he would know about any resources and you've said there are none in the area, it's a shame. My son was able to get an apartment provided by a non-profit mental health organization he found out about through a hospital social worker. They also provided van transportation to doctors and food banks, but they weren't reliable. I put him on my uber for transportation.


Do you know what they will do if she is found not competent? I hope it means they will get her some help.

Oh that’s amazing about the apartments and transportation for your son, wow!!! I only wish we had that here. Most recently there was a homeless camp behind our Walmart and the cops actually came in and forced them to leave. One was a 62 year old man with no place to go and had the protection of this camp. That’s how our mentally ill and drug addicted people have it here.

They just ordered the evaluation and are setting up a councelor to do the evaluation. Not sure what the outcome of all this will be.