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Daughter uses baby as a weapon
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 673241" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>This is sad but very common. My folks kept contact with my niece by giving my bro a lot of things and by 'loaning' his exwife $ when she asked (about 2-3 x per month!). They also did free babysitting at all hours and talked exsil down may times. My Mom even told her next hubby what to expect and how to cope with exsil right up until the end of their marriage(this is the hubby after my gfgro).</p><p></p><p>One thing I strongly suggest is to look into your rights as a grandparent. They vary WIDELY from state to state so you have to check them. Then get a lawyer involved if you need to enforce your rights by going to court. Those first six months should show that you established a relationship with her.</p><p></p><p>Detaching is something you will have to do with your daughter at some point. learning about it and working on it now will be a great help to you, but you need to look into your rights also.</p><p></p><p>I know in my state the court gives my folks more rights over my bro's child than over my 3 kids. He is divorced and I am still married to the father of my kids. This means the courts have special guidelines that give grandparents more rights to his child than to my kids, probably because in case of a divorce or parents who didn't get married, one or even both sets of grandparents gets pushed away because the custodial parent wants nothing to do with their ex or his family. This isn't good for the kids, so the courts have the power to make the custodial parent (or both parents) allow the grandparents to see the kids. But in other states the grands have no rights or they have even more rights regardless of if the parents are together. So you MUST check the rights your state gives you.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry you are hurting so badly. I hope that in time the pain eases. (((((hugs)))0)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 673241, member: 1233"] This is sad but very common. My folks kept contact with my niece by giving my bro a lot of things and by 'loaning' his exwife $ when she asked (about 2-3 x per month!). They also did free babysitting at all hours and talked exsil down may times. My Mom even told her next hubby what to expect and how to cope with exsil right up until the end of their marriage(this is the hubby after my gfgro). One thing I strongly suggest is to look into your rights as a grandparent. They vary WIDELY from state to state so you have to check them. Then get a lawyer involved if you need to enforce your rights by going to court. Those first six months should show that you established a relationship with her. Detaching is something you will have to do with your daughter at some point. learning about it and working on it now will be a great help to you, but you need to look into your rights also. I know in my state the court gives my folks more rights over my bro's child than over my 3 kids. He is divorced and I am still married to the father of my kids. This means the courts have special guidelines that give grandparents more rights to his child than to my kids, probably because in case of a divorce or parents who didn't get married, one or even both sets of grandparents gets pushed away because the custodial parent wants nothing to do with their ex or his family. This isn't good for the kids, so the courts have the power to make the custodial parent (or both parents) allow the grandparents to see the kids. But in other states the grands have no rights or they have even more rights regardless of if the parents are together. So you MUST check the rights your state gives you. I am so sorry you are hurting so badly. I hope that in time the pain eases. (((((hugs)))0) [/QUOTE]
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