Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
DavidWH
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 111220" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>David, as you are sorting through the multitude of issues that surround you and difficult child, do you mind one more suggestion to mull??</p><p></p><p>It is not easy to do but it really is very important to remember</p><p>that you have relationsips, history and needs with other family members that span 43 years. Like most of us I am sure that you</p><p>have not been the perfect family member. I'm equally as sure that your family has not made the best choices for four decades</p><p>plus. That is between YOU and YOUR family members.</p><p></p><p>Your son (like all of our sons and daughters) has only known his</p><p>relatives for his short lifetime. If he did not share a home with relatives then his knowledge is limited to perhaps a few hours shared during his childhood. If he did live with you and</p><p>your Mom then he has a much more defined picture of exactly who</p><p>she is and what she believe to be right/wrong etc. If you can't love imperfect people then how can you hope others can love you with your imperfections.</p><p></p><p>It is HUGELY important that you separate your relationships and</p><p>your sons relationship with the same people. It is emotionally</p><p>abusing to discourage your child from seeing the good side of his</p><p>family members.......even if the bad side outweighs it. That lesson has been really, really hard for me. Even the relatives</p><p>who think ALL of easy child/difficult children problems are caused by his addictions and poor choices...yes, there are many relatives that still do not understand that he has brain damage that will last for his lifetime!...are HIS relatives. He has told me many times "You</p><p>know I really don't like XYZ BUT God made him a relative of mine</p><p>so I need to look for the good in him."</p><p></p><p>We have an old family saying that originated with my flamboyant</p><p>Dad. Make sure you live your life right 'cause "you never know</p><p>when you might be run over by a turnip truck!" Keep that in mind</p><p>as you think of burning bridges. If YOU get "run over by a turnip truck", will your son have relatives that he believes will</p><p>care about him?? It's something to think about. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 111220, member: 35"] David, as you are sorting through the multitude of issues that surround you and difficult child, do you mind one more suggestion to mull?? It is not easy to do but it really is very important to remember that you have relationsips, history and needs with other family members that span 43 years. Like most of us I am sure that you have not been the perfect family member. I'm equally as sure that your family has not made the best choices for four decades plus. That is between YOU and YOUR family members. Your son (like all of our sons and daughters) has only known his relatives for his short lifetime. If he did not share a home with relatives then his knowledge is limited to perhaps a few hours shared during his childhood. If he did live with you and your Mom then he has a much more defined picture of exactly who she is and what she believe to be right/wrong etc. If you can't love imperfect people then how can you hope others can love you with your imperfections. It is HUGELY important that you separate your relationships and your sons relationship with the same people. It is emotionally abusing to discourage your child from seeing the good side of his family members.......even if the bad side outweighs it. That lesson has been really, really hard for me. Even the relatives who think ALL of easy child/difficult children problems are caused by his addictions and poor choices...yes, there are many relatives that still do not understand that he has brain damage that will last for his lifetime!...are HIS relatives. He has told me many times "You know I really don't like XYZ BUT God made him a relative of mine so I need to look for the good in him." We have an old family saying that originated with my flamboyant Dad. Make sure you live your life right 'cause "you never know when you might be run over by a turnip truck!" Keep that in mind as you think of burning bridges. If YOU get "run over by a turnip truck", will your son have relatives that he believes will care about him?? It's something to think about. DDD [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
DavidWH
Top