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DavidWH
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 111266" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Certainly I can't speak for David :nonono: but my impression is based on mulitple post references. I do not think that he is planning on avoiding all contact. My impression is, however, that his family has been consistently critical of his handling of</p><p>the difficult child issues and their behavior is perceived to be anti-David and anti-difficult child. There have been a number of references to Grandma</p><p>(who I am assuming is David's Mom) and her attachment to difficult child interfering with David's parental focus on difficult child. Since there is not a biomom in the picture, I think that Grandma sees herself in</p><p>that role which makes David uncomfortable.</p><p></p><p>It is my very strong opinion that as David sorts through his</p><p>role as the sole parent of a struggling teen and prepares for the</p><p>upcoming empty nest it is worthwhile to suggest that he encourage</p><p>his son to see the very best side of all the relatives he has...</p><p>even if they also have "ugly" sides to their personalities. difficult child</p><p>is not perfect. It is OK to accept that you are not perfect. By</p><p>knowing that many people who share his heritage are good people</p><p>with some flaws, difficult child will be able to form a picture of himself as</p><p>an individual adult. Right now he wants to be perfect for Daddy</p><p>but he needs to aim for adulthood where he knows that nobody is</p><p>perfect and his independent choices will determine how and where</p><p>he lives the remainder of his life.</p><p></p><p>Does that make sense? I hope so because I believe firmly that</p><p>it is hugely important and that his Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement should be helping him aim for that type of self-acceptance. Many of our</p><p>difficult children KNOW they are falling short of the mark that we have set for them and then they give up, or smoke pot, or drink etc. in order to feel OK. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 111266, member: 35"] Certainly I can't speak for David [img]:nonono:[/img] but my impression is based on mulitple post references. I do not think that he is planning on avoiding all contact. My impression is, however, that his family has been consistently critical of his handling of the difficult child issues and their behavior is perceived to be anti-David and anti-difficult child. There have been a number of references to Grandma (who I am assuming is David's Mom) and her attachment to difficult child interfering with David's parental focus on difficult child. Since there is not a biomom in the picture, I think that Grandma sees herself in that role which makes David uncomfortable. It is my very strong opinion that as David sorts through his role as the sole parent of a struggling teen and prepares for the upcoming empty nest it is worthwhile to suggest that he encourage his son to see the very best side of all the relatives he has... even if they also have "ugly" sides to their personalities. difficult child is not perfect. It is OK to accept that you are not perfect. By knowing that many people who share his heritage are good people with some flaws, difficult child will be able to form a picture of himself as an individual adult. Right now he wants to be perfect for Daddy but he needs to aim for adulthood where he knows that nobody is perfect and his independent choices will determine how and where he lives the remainder of his life. Does that make sense? I hope so because I believe firmly that it is hugely important and that his Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement should be helping him aim for that type of self-acceptance. Many of our difficult children KNOW they are falling short of the mark that we have set for them and then they give up, or smoke pot, or drink etc. in order to feel OK. DDD [/QUOTE]
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