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Dent in car ...ideas please
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 535011" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Buddy, </p><p></p><p>I am going to suggest two things. Maybe more as my mind thinks here.....Dentless repairs do exist. The thing hound is talking about does exist - and sometimes do work - but sometimes if you do NOT know anything about body work? You can end up making a bigger mess - You pull a dent out here......<------ and you get a pucker, or crease -----> there. It's the vacuum theory. A lot of times with small dents and in my experience of having pulled out a lot of dents there are literally tools that look like hmmm what do they look like - HUGE METAL shoes? That you have to put on the inside of the part of the car that has the dent while you suction out or work the metal out. Push and pull - not just pull. And slowly - so my first suggestion IF you like your car - take it to a dentless paintless repair place. They exist and it's a lot cheaper than you'd think. </p><p></p><p>Next? Q and his temper. He's got a right to be angry. Does he know this? Has anyone literally sat him down and said - Q....you know what??? WE ALL GET ANGRY. WE GET PO'd, WE GET STEAMING MAD, WE GET SO ANGRY SOME TIMES we cant think. BUT.......there needs to be an outlet for you - so that when you feel certain ways - you can go to that place and it's OKAY to behave a certain way - and NOT get into trouble. HITTING and DENTING Mom's car from now on? Is going to get you into BIG trouble. Then lay out your consequences. And.....stick to them - no matter how hard it is....if it's SITTING in the corner for five minutes and re-direct - re-direct - redirect - for six hours until you are BOTH exhausted and falling apart - until he ACTUALLY sits in the corner for FIVE lousy minutes - for harming the car? THEN - you do that. Sounds ridiculolus....and it sounds more like you "win" but -------It's a learning process. I got angry, I dented the car - and MY MOM??? She made me sit in the corner for five minutes. Now it took her six hours to get me to do it......BUT I sat there for five minutes. (This is a Dude scenario all over) and over.......and over.......and bloody well over for like MONTHS. And It took me about a year and a half -just to get him to sit in a corner for five minutes - and he was about ten. And yes - I was worn completely out. And he wore me so far out - I didn't know if I could care about him sitting in a corner ever.....BUT - point is - WHEN he got a consequence from me - at age 12 ? And I said - YOU NOW have five minutes in the corner - HE sat in the corner. It wasn't MUCH of a punishment - but it was a start. AND he got anger manaement techniques in the mean time from SOMEONE other than me. </p><p></p><p>Some of them were phenominal - some of them (in my humble opinion) were lame as Christmas in July - Some of them were scary - (yeah give my kid a ball bat and tell him to go pound sand) BRILLIANT - (look out window) OH golly I think he missed the sand......cause he's pounding the side of the garage! (groan) Who told him he could have a bat? Uh huh? Uh huh? YOu told him to beat the ground? Well now he's beating his bicycle to smitherines. Uh huh....Uh huh....GO GET THE BAT? Yeah you come here doctor and get the bat......NOT HAPPENING. Uh huh? Let him cool down.....Maybe ..if I have anything left. OH Lord now the fence.....gotta go. </p><p></p><p>So yeah some of the theories didn't play out well ......BUT At times I thought they were good.....And punching bags, and things like that - well - the Karate lessons seemed like a good constructive outlet - but sigh - they were not good for him.....FOR ME They were GREAT....Pounded the poo out of 1/2 my class - so aggressive no one wanted to be my partner. BUT......another time another story. He's got to get an outlet for the anger - maybe when he's angry you redirect him and say "OK I see you're getting angry " LETS GO FOR A WALK .......and you just let him walk - fast and hard.......not with you but in front of you..........or he goes outside and pulls weeds, (not flowers), or does something that he wants to do to burn off energy. For Dude? It was going for a walk. ALONE. Getting out of the house - and we let him go. Our deal was he had to come back and talk about it - but.....you can NOT allow Q to continue to destroy your property - because the obvious is going to continue - he's going to take his anger out one someone elses property and end up in jail. He's not going to be able to disseminate between the two when he's angry - and eventually he'll bust out someones windshield or kick a door or a tail light and get arrested for vandalism. NOT a pretty charge. </p><p></p><p>Just my thoughts - but anger management techniques and therapy is a great outlet - even now - it could help him put his anger in check.....and maybe it's just reading a book or drawing wildly in a coloring book.....but it can NOT be him beating the poo out of your car. and you going - I know it's wrong but.......and you taking classes at the local vocational school in body work. And I'm not judging - because I have the worlds most angriest kid ever. I swear by zeus I did.....or do....depends on the day - but he still uses the techniques they taught him - mostly. lol - just depends on the frontal cortex being engaged. Know what I mean? </p><p></p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 535011, member: 4964"] Buddy, I am going to suggest two things. Maybe more as my mind thinks here.....Dentless repairs do exist. The thing hound is talking about does exist - and sometimes do work - but sometimes if you do NOT know anything about body work? You can end up making a bigger mess - You pull a dent out here......<------ and you get a pucker, or crease -----> there. It's the vacuum theory. A lot of times with small dents and in my experience of having pulled out a lot of dents there are literally tools that look like hmmm what do they look like - HUGE METAL shoes? That you have to put on the inside of the part of the car that has the dent while you suction out or work the metal out. Push and pull - not just pull. And slowly - so my first suggestion IF you like your car - take it to a dentless paintless repair place. They exist and it's a lot cheaper than you'd think. Next? Q and his temper. He's got a right to be angry. Does he know this? Has anyone literally sat him down and said - Q....you know what??? WE ALL GET ANGRY. WE GET PO'd, WE GET STEAMING MAD, WE GET SO ANGRY SOME TIMES we cant think. BUT.......there needs to be an outlet for you - so that when you feel certain ways - you can go to that place and it's OKAY to behave a certain way - and NOT get into trouble. HITTING and DENTING Mom's car from now on? Is going to get you into BIG trouble. Then lay out your consequences. And.....stick to them - no matter how hard it is....if it's SITTING in the corner for five minutes and re-direct - re-direct - redirect - for six hours until you are BOTH exhausted and falling apart - until he ACTUALLY sits in the corner for FIVE lousy minutes - for harming the car? THEN - you do that. Sounds ridiculolus....and it sounds more like you "win" but -------It's a learning process. I got angry, I dented the car - and MY MOM??? She made me sit in the corner for five minutes. Now it took her six hours to get me to do it......BUT I sat there for five minutes. (This is a Dude scenario all over) and over.......and over.......and bloody well over for like MONTHS. And It took me about a year and a half -just to get him to sit in a corner for five minutes - and he was about ten. And yes - I was worn completely out. And he wore me so far out - I didn't know if I could care about him sitting in a corner ever.....BUT - point is - WHEN he got a consequence from me - at age 12 ? And I said - YOU NOW have five minutes in the corner - HE sat in the corner. It wasn't MUCH of a punishment - but it was a start. AND he got anger manaement techniques in the mean time from SOMEONE other than me. Some of them were phenominal - some of them (in my humble opinion) were lame as Christmas in July - Some of them were scary - (yeah give my kid a ball bat and tell him to go pound sand) BRILLIANT - (look out window) OH golly I think he missed the sand......cause he's pounding the side of the garage! (groan) Who told him he could have a bat? Uh huh? Uh huh? YOu told him to beat the ground? Well now he's beating his bicycle to smitherines. Uh huh....Uh huh....GO GET THE BAT? Yeah you come here doctor and get the bat......NOT HAPPENING. Uh huh? Let him cool down.....Maybe ..if I have anything left. OH Lord now the fence.....gotta go. So yeah some of the theories didn't play out well ......BUT At times I thought they were good.....And punching bags, and things like that - well - the Karate lessons seemed like a good constructive outlet - but sigh - they were not good for him.....FOR ME They were GREAT....Pounded the poo out of 1/2 my class - so aggressive no one wanted to be my partner. BUT......another time another story. He's got to get an outlet for the anger - maybe when he's angry you redirect him and say "OK I see you're getting angry " LETS GO FOR A WALK .......and you just let him walk - fast and hard.......not with you but in front of you..........or he goes outside and pulls weeds, (not flowers), or does something that he wants to do to burn off energy. For Dude? It was going for a walk. ALONE. Getting out of the house - and we let him go. Our deal was he had to come back and talk about it - but.....you can NOT allow Q to continue to destroy your property - because the obvious is going to continue - he's going to take his anger out one someone elses property and end up in jail. He's not going to be able to disseminate between the two when he's angry - and eventually he'll bust out someones windshield or kick a door or a tail light and get arrested for vandalism. NOT a pretty charge. Just my thoughts - but anger management techniques and therapy is a great outlet - even now - it could help him put his anger in check.....and maybe it's just reading a book or drawing wildly in a coloring book.....but it can NOT be him beating the poo out of your car. and you going - I know it's wrong but.......and you taking classes at the local vocational school in body work. And I'm not judging - because I have the worlds most angriest kid ever. I swear by zeus I did.....or do....depends on the day - but he still uses the techniques they taught him - mostly. lol - just depends on the frontal cortex being engaged. Know what I mean? Hugs & Love Star [/QUOTE]
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Dent in car ...ideas please
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