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Dent in car ...ideas please
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 535014" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>I'll check into the paintless dent thing, thanks Star!</p><p></p><p>Re: anger management. Thanks for the ideas. Q has had time outs, groundings, removals, etc. and he accepts them. Q has every therapy under the book and he does time outs beautifully. THEY DO NO GOOD. For him it depends on the trigger, and some are only managed by letting his brain settle (seizures) or total silence to allow him to process options. He is still learning to identify what happens before he reaches that stage. We are working on it.</p><p></p><p>The thing about THIS dent?? There was no anger. This is a transition issue. going from one thing to another. So he is leaving school doing well, has had a great day, comes out with TWO staff and giving and getting high fives, and then sees the car and bolts. He is on to the next thing, overwhelmed and just crashes his body into the car. Sometimes jumps on the car. Nothing has ever happened before so he didn't really connect the words we kept telling him about how the car would break. I didn't know until today and HE showed me what happened and said, is this why you said not to kick the car mom? I said right and now we will not be doing BK until I find a way to fix it and pay for it. I am saving the BK money for that. He was not happy but it is the only thing that made sense, the money has to come from somewhere. (I have to think of things that affect him but are not the end of the world or he WILL lose control and sorry, but no way my telling him to go settle down or go outside will work. Just no way. (and anyway since that isnot allowed at all right now due to this level of panic/fight/flight he is having is going on...that is not an option at home, or he just escalates outside--any attention is attention kind of situation--.he is just not able to process at those times, has to be dealt with once his brain is settled, THEN we can talk consequences). </p><p></p><p>Anyway he said he was sorry and wont do it again, BUT with him once a behavior happens it often starts a pattern that he can't stop...it is done over and over....from small things like an extra hop on a stair to a word being said over a nd over (every time we turn into our complex he starts repeating over and over, in the same intonation every single time, JORDY (our cats name...CAT IS DEAD....but it is STUCK in his head). Only thing that changes it is to change part of the chain so I am asking the school people to dangle a reward, or offer a piggie back ride to the car and the door will be open already when he arrives so can climb in, etc. Once that is done several times the urge to jump, kick etc. will be gone. I have been through this a zillion times with him. I WISH to high heaven all those traditional time out, or else this or that will happen methods would work. I still do them, but they dont work. I just do them so he never gets the idea that what he is doing is OK, but it doesn't change the behavior. Lots of reasons for that and I have had to accept explinations from people who really get his kind of brain injury over time, but it is hard to LIVE it. Add the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and it can be a real trick. </p><p></p><p>Once the urge to run at the car starts, my saying stop or X will happen will just cause a panic and he will knock me over. Just redirects the energy. Gotta get it before the sequence starts. sigh.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 535014, member: 12886"] I'll check into the paintless dent thing, thanks Star! Re: anger management. Thanks for the ideas. Q has had time outs, groundings, removals, etc. and he accepts them. Q has every therapy under the book and he does time outs beautifully. THEY DO NO GOOD. For him it depends on the trigger, and some are only managed by letting his brain settle (seizures) or total silence to allow him to process options. He is still learning to identify what happens before he reaches that stage. We are working on it. The thing about THIS dent?? There was no anger. This is a transition issue. going from one thing to another. So he is leaving school doing well, has had a great day, comes out with TWO staff and giving and getting high fives, and then sees the car and bolts. He is on to the next thing, overwhelmed and just crashes his body into the car. Sometimes jumps on the car. Nothing has ever happened before so he didn't really connect the words we kept telling him about how the car would break. I didn't know until today and HE showed me what happened and said, is this why you said not to kick the car mom? I said right and now we will not be doing BK until I find a way to fix it and pay for it. I am saving the BK money for that. He was not happy but it is the only thing that made sense, the money has to come from somewhere. (I have to think of things that affect him but are not the end of the world or he WILL lose control and sorry, but no way my telling him to go settle down or go outside will work. Just no way. (and anyway since that isnot allowed at all right now due to this level of panic/fight/flight he is having is going on...that is not an option at home, or he just escalates outside--any attention is attention kind of situation--.he is just not able to process at those times, has to be dealt with once his brain is settled, THEN we can talk consequences). Anyway he said he was sorry and wont do it again, BUT with him once a behavior happens it often starts a pattern that he can't stop...it is done over and over....from small things like an extra hop on a stair to a word being said over a nd over (every time we turn into our complex he starts repeating over and over, in the same intonation every single time, JORDY (our cats name...CAT IS DEAD....but it is STUCK in his head). Only thing that changes it is to change part of the chain so I am asking the school people to dangle a reward, or offer a piggie back ride to the car and the door will be open already when he arrives so can climb in, etc. Once that is done several times the urge to jump, kick etc. will be gone. I have been through this a zillion times with him. I WISH to high heaven all those traditional time out, or else this or that will happen methods would work. I still do them, but they dont work. I just do them so he never gets the idea that what he is doing is OK, but it doesn't change the behavior. Lots of reasons for that and I have had to accept explinations from people who really get his kind of brain injury over time, but it is hard to LIVE it. Add the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and it can be a real trick. Once the urge to run at the car starts, my saying stop or X will happen will just cause a panic and he will knock me over. Just redirects the energy. Gotta get it before the sequence starts. sigh. [/QUOTE]
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Dent in car ...ideas please
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