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Depressed at Thought of Stepdaughter Living Here After Jail
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<blockquote data-quote="ConcernedSC" data-source="post: 623033" data-attributes="member: 17793"><p>She has worn out her stay just about everywhere. Friends are tired of her, neither set of grandparents are willing, and the aunts and uncles have their own kids and don't want the trouble. </p><p></p><p>As a matter of fact, she is serving the jail sentence for robbing her friend who refused to let her stay there (again). The girl was her long time friend who had a young infant and boyfriend when stepdaughter knocked on door and wanted in. The girl was sorry but couldn't let her in- she couldn't deal with the trouble that comes along with her, especially because my stepdaughter also oversteps her boundaries and is not humble or grateful- she is dependent on everyone yet makes frivolous demands even though people are already imposed on. So when the girl did not let her in, in what I believe was spite, she waited till the girl left, broke in and robbed her apartment and got caught. She's been in jail since last July. Up till now, she was in county but now she has been moved to an actual prison (which I heard was nice for a prison) to serve out the sentence. Because there is a chance of parole, its doubtful she will serve out the whole 3 year sentence. She told my husband she thinks she is getting out this summer but I don't know if its based in fact or wishful thinking.</p><p></p><p>My husband does know how I feel about it but the way he talks puts subliminal pressure on me. If it weren't for me, he would bring her here in his codependent nature. But I am the boundary setter who doesn't want her here. So if she doesn't come here, I have to bear the burden of being the one who said no because he won't share that with me. He *is* willing to suffer with her toxic personality and keep struggling to think he can save her and force her to change. If she comes here and manages to shatter our home lives, like she has during past visits, or her holiday drop-ins, creating such emotional devastation and then leaving us to pick up the pieces- I don't think I can stand it one more time.</p><p></p><p>I think I am actually traumatized by my past interactions with her. But I know my husband fears she will get out, have a chance at recovery, have no support, then fail. I know why he wants to support her, but at the expense of us being guinea pigs to see if things will be different, which, I doubt they would be.</p><p></p><p>As for leaving, its possible, but my income fluctuates. I am a photographer so sometimes I can doing very well and other times I can be scary slow with business. I have no storefront, I do consults in my home and then shoot weddings or outdoor portraits. I have always been scared to depend on it because it varies widely.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ConcernedSC, post: 623033, member: 17793"] She has worn out her stay just about everywhere. Friends are tired of her, neither set of grandparents are willing, and the aunts and uncles have their own kids and don't want the trouble. As a matter of fact, she is serving the jail sentence for robbing her friend who refused to let her stay there (again). The girl was her long time friend who had a young infant and boyfriend when stepdaughter knocked on door and wanted in. The girl was sorry but couldn't let her in- she couldn't deal with the trouble that comes along with her, especially because my stepdaughter also oversteps her boundaries and is not humble or grateful- she is dependent on everyone yet makes frivolous demands even though people are already imposed on. So when the girl did not let her in, in what I believe was spite, she waited till the girl left, broke in and robbed her apartment and got caught. She's been in jail since last July. Up till now, she was in county but now she has been moved to an actual prison (which I heard was nice for a prison) to serve out the sentence. Because there is a chance of parole, its doubtful she will serve out the whole 3 year sentence. She told my husband she thinks she is getting out this summer but I don't know if its based in fact or wishful thinking. My husband does know how I feel about it but the way he talks puts subliminal pressure on me. If it weren't for me, he would bring her here in his codependent nature. But I am the boundary setter who doesn't want her here. So if she doesn't come here, I have to bear the burden of being the one who said no because he won't share that with me. He *is* willing to suffer with her toxic personality and keep struggling to think he can save her and force her to change. If she comes here and manages to shatter our home lives, like she has during past visits, or her holiday drop-ins, creating such emotional devastation and then leaving us to pick up the pieces- I don't think I can stand it one more time. I think I am actually traumatized by my past interactions with her. But I know my husband fears she will get out, have a chance at recovery, have no support, then fail. I know why he wants to support her, but at the expense of us being guinea pigs to see if things will be different, which, I doubt they would be. As for leaving, its possible, but my income fluctuates. I am a photographer so sometimes I can doing very well and other times I can be scary slow with business. I have no storefront, I do consults in my home and then shoot weddings or outdoor portraits. I have always been scared to depend on it because it varies widely. [/QUOTE]
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