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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 557739" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>No Hope</p><p></p><p>It seems strange, but you are right now doing the very best you can for both yourself and your son. You are actively taking steps to ensure your safety. You are setting up boundaries that your son will quickly discover there are some pretty serious consequences if he ignores them. He needs to come to understand that currently he is out of control. It will take time. When it eventually happens, it will be the first step toward seeking help, which is the goal. </p><p></p><p>Your son is still very young yet. It is impossible to know how your relationship might be even next year, let alone 5 yrs down the road. But your safety has to always come first and foremost. You may be surprised at how much a young male can grow and change in the course of just a year or two. Heck, sometimes months. </p><p></p><p>Now comes the hard part, sticking to the boundaries you've set into place. He can react either by falling totally apart and begging you to let him come home while promising the world or going ballistic. Believe it or not the first one is the hardest to resist as a Mom. And you must realize that the Order of Protection applies to YOU as well as to him. You have to have no contact and stay away from him as well. If you initiate contact it makes your order invalid. And that is the last thing you want. </p><p></p><p>I'm so glad you updated. Stay in touch. Vent. Cry on our shoulders. Ask questions. We're here whenever you need us.</p><p></p><p>((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 557739, member: 84"] No Hope It seems strange, but you are right now doing the very best you can for both yourself and your son. You are actively taking steps to ensure your safety. You are setting up boundaries that your son will quickly discover there are some pretty serious consequences if he ignores them. He needs to come to understand that currently he is out of control. It will take time. When it eventually happens, it will be the first step toward seeking help, which is the goal. Your son is still very young yet. It is impossible to know how your relationship might be even next year, let alone 5 yrs down the road. But your safety has to always come first and foremost. You may be surprised at how much a young male can grow and change in the course of just a year or two. Heck, sometimes months. Now comes the hard part, sticking to the boundaries you've set into place. He can react either by falling totally apart and begging you to let him come home while promising the world or going ballistic. Believe it or not the first one is the hardest to resist as a Mom. And you must realize that the Order of Protection applies to YOU as well as to him. You have to have no contact and stay away from him as well. If you initiate contact it makes your order invalid. And that is the last thing you want. I'm so glad you updated. Stay in touch. Vent. Cry on our shoulders. Ask questions. We're here whenever you need us. ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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