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Detach, detach, detach
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<blockquote data-quote="HereWeGoAgain" data-source="post: 427179" data-attributes="member: 3485"><p>I can so much relate to everything about your difficult child's attitudes and behaviors - it is exactly the same with our difficult child right down to the gangsta-talk, except ours is fast approaching 31. Your dtr is supposedly destitute, yet has ready access to a computer to update her Facebook page. Same with mine, she has no food, no transportation, no home - but she has the latest model cell phone with apparently unlimited air time, somehow. </p><p> </p><p>They hang out with thieves and then wonder why their things get stolen. The renege on commitments whenever there's a party somewhere and then are hurt when they get stood up. They spend all their money on drugs, tattoos, fancy clothes and toys, and want somebody else to provide food, transportation and shelter. You really want to just scream "Why can't you figure it out!? You do this stuff, it comes back to bite you like it ALWAYS does, and you want me to feel sorry and fix it all for you just so you can GO DO IT AGAIN?!".</p><p> </p><p>Your title said it all: detach, detach, detach - it's the only way to stay sane and have a semblance of a life.</p><p> </p><p>Everyone is right about the purpose of the calls being to get you to rescue her. We've been around the block on that so many times - streets, rescue, rehab, home, doing good, stalling out, backsliding, spiralling down, back on the streets, over and over and over. difficult child always promises the world to get back home, and then she can usually keep up apperances at least or sometimes really walk the walk, for anywhere between two days up to 15 months. It's those long periods of recovery that get your hopes up all over again and make the bad times recede enough in memory that we slip into the old patterns without even realizing it until she's in full-blown free fall and we're devastated all over again. Finally this time wife will stick with never letting difficult child live with us again - there are circumstances which truly put it beyond our control: a social worker who comes once a week for counseling with easy child 1 and has told wife that if difficult child moves back, we will be reported to DHS as endangering easy child 1 and possibly have her taken away.</p><p> </p><p>But getting back to your situation, you did very well in your responses! Bravo, well done!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HereWeGoAgain, post: 427179, member: 3485"] I can so much relate to everything about your difficult child's attitudes and behaviors - it is exactly the same with our difficult child right down to the gangsta-talk, except ours is fast approaching 31. Your dtr is supposedly destitute, yet has ready access to a computer to update her Facebook page. Same with mine, she has no food, no transportation, no home - but she has the latest model cell phone with apparently unlimited air time, somehow. They hang out with thieves and then wonder why their things get stolen. The renege on commitments whenever there's a party somewhere and then are hurt when they get stood up. They spend all their money on drugs, tattoos, fancy clothes and toys, and want somebody else to provide food, transportation and shelter. You really want to just scream "Why can't you figure it out!? You do this stuff, it comes back to bite you like it ALWAYS does, and you want me to feel sorry and fix it all for you just so you can GO DO IT AGAIN?!". Your title said it all: detach, detach, detach - it's the only way to stay sane and have a semblance of a life. Everyone is right about the purpose of the calls being to get you to rescue her. We've been around the block on that so many times - streets, rescue, rehab, home, doing good, stalling out, backsliding, spiralling down, back on the streets, over and over and over. difficult child always promises the world to get back home, and then she can usually keep up apperances at least or sometimes really walk the walk, for anywhere between two days up to 15 months. It's those long periods of recovery that get your hopes up all over again and make the bad times recede enough in memory that we slip into the old patterns without even realizing it until she's in full-blown free fall and we're devastated all over again. Finally this time wife will stick with never letting difficult child live with us again - there are circumstances which truly put it beyond our control: a social worker who comes once a week for counseling with easy child 1 and has told wife that if difficult child moves back, we will be reported to DHS as endangering easy child 1 and possibly have her taken away. But getting back to your situation, you did very well in your responses! Bravo, well done! [/QUOTE]
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