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Detachment 101 Phrases
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 473645" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Signorina, in my experience, trying to refute the claims is impossible. That's why they're so manipulative. There's nothing reasonable that you can say in answer to such a charge. And the point is not to prove that you're right and your difficult child is wrong, but rather to shut down the conversation as quickly as possible so that you don't get drawn into it.</p><p></p><p>If your difficult child can draw you into justifying your actions, behaviour or decisions, then he's able to continue blaming you for his issues and not taking ownership of them himself.</p><p></p><p>With my difficult child, I've found that the only thing that works is refusing to engage at all.</p><p></p><p>So...</p><p>difficult child: "Mom, I don't know what to do!"</p><p>Trinity: "You're resourceful. I'm sure you'll figure something out."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 473645, member: 3907"] Signorina, in my experience, trying to refute the claims is impossible. That's why they're so manipulative. There's nothing reasonable that you can say in answer to such a charge. And the point is not to prove that you're right and your difficult child is wrong, but rather to shut down the conversation as quickly as possible so that you don't get drawn into it. If your difficult child can draw you into justifying your actions, behaviour or decisions, then he's able to continue blaming you for his issues and not taking ownership of them himself. With my difficult child, I've found that the only thing that works is refusing to engage at all. So... difficult child: "Mom, I don't know what to do!" Trinity: "You're resourceful. I'm sure you'll figure something out." [/QUOTE]
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