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Didn't come home again, didn't call...
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<blockquote data-quote="Ropefree" data-source="post: 220043" data-attributes="member: 6271"><p>Thank you thank you all....Goldenguru, Arianne, MidwestMom, Jennifer, Compassion, Marguretia,Witzend...</p><p>The police called my son and he called me. I will deal with him as the week goes by.</p><p>And I called the hospital where the mother is still in care and asked them did they know her teen was home unsupervised? That I have had problems with the fact that she neglects her son and does not offer supervision when she is home and the fact that her emotionally needy son is now alone and it is causing problems as, for example my son, his friend, is trying to rise to the occation.Can they make the effort to make certain that she has the inhome care she will need provided and that her teen at home is not neglected as he has been in the past.</p><p>I agree that ultimately it is up to parents to keep kids in check. And the developemental facts are that maturity does not follow the timeline that legal </p><p>issues are ticked off sometimes at a disadvantage to the youth who are not functioning to par.</p><p>This family has been at risk for years and I have done all I can to lend the </p><p>attention and care. </p><p>I am a fan of just make a stink and that is often effective for discuraging </p><p>the violation of boundaries. </p><p>Ultimately I am hoping that my son will stop feeling like I am trying to ruin his life because the fact is the youth that are going to make a good life for themselvles are the ones who have the ability to let the drama around them go on while they are attending classes and working and paying more and more of their own way until they have the skills to be independant and self supporting.</p><p>It is so sad watching the graduates who are adrift and want the job they applied for months ago but haven't been called in to interview.</p><p>Right now my son is not talking to me and is angery over the on going episodes that are part and parcel of that womans crazymaking behavor and impact on the circle of friends that do care.</p><p>The last time she spoke with me we were talking about life without the abuser as she was just leaving the then current one.</p><p>It is tragic what has befallen her with the mauling dog attack. And the fact is that her teen was neglected befor and this is all one episode after another coping with the way my son is caught up in her..yes, inexplicable behavours.</p><p>I am also now aware that I can file a complaint agianst her for the interference and get her into court for her part. A minor is not resposible for the fact an adult lets them in over night. </p><p>I know this is all about abuse, neglect and it is reaching into my house without my agreement or permission. </p><p>Because my son was in contact about the last time and also the swearing at me pushing me the report to police again could land him arrested.</p><p>He is being coached by the "freinds" who are not aware of the role of care in their parents. </p><p>My son is very confused by it all. He is not prepared for this. It is burdening him and it is visible in his face and actions. So sad to watch because it does not have to be like this.</p><p>And I do need adults who are in agreement to help him to feel that I am not just the mother he hates.</p><p>These are reasonable exspectations. Sensible. Not the exciting symulation of the crazymaking home where verbal abuse just reighns down like toxic waste.</p><p>And teens need support to feel safe. geez</p><p>I am sorry Mid westmom that my posts do not make sence to you. I apreciate that you do lend good ideas anyway.</p><p>Thank you all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ropefree, post: 220043, member: 6271"] Thank you thank you all....Goldenguru, Arianne, MidwestMom, Jennifer, Compassion, Marguretia,Witzend... The police called my son and he called me. I will deal with him as the week goes by. And I called the hospital where the mother is still in care and asked them did they know her teen was home unsupervised? That I have had problems with the fact that she neglects her son and does not offer supervision when she is home and the fact that her emotionally needy son is now alone and it is causing problems as, for example my son, his friend, is trying to rise to the occation.Can they make the effort to make certain that she has the inhome care she will need provided and that her teen at home is not neglected as he has been in the past. I agree that ultimately it is up to parents to keep kids in check. And the developemental facts are that maturity does not follow the timeline that legal issues are ticked off sometimes at a disadvantage to the youth who are not functioning to par. This family has been at risk for years and I have done all I can to lend the attention and care. I am a fan of just make a stink and that is often effective for discuraging the violation of boundaries. Ultimately I am hoping that my son will stop feeling like I am trying to ruin his life because the fact is the youth that are going to make a good life for themselvles are the ones who have the ability to let the drama around them go on while they are attending classes and working and paying more and more of their own way until they have the skills to be independant and self supporting. It is so sad watching the graduates who are adrift and want the job they applied for months ago but haven't been called in to interview. Right now my son is not talking to me and is angery over the on going episodes that are part and parcel of that womans crazymaking behavor and impact on the circle of friends that do care. The last time she spoke with me we were talking about life without the abuser as she was just leaving the then current one. It is tragic what has befallen her with the mauling dog attack. And the fact is that her teen was neglected befor and this is all one episode after another coping with the way my son is caught up in her..yes, inexplicable behavours. I am also now aware that I can file a complaint agianst her for the interference and get her into court for her part. A minor is not resposible for the fact an adult lets them in over night. I know this is all about abuse, neglect and it is reaching into my house without my agreement or permission. Because my son was in contact about the last time and also the swearing at me pushing me the report to police again could land him arrested. He is being coached by the "freinds" who are not aware of the role of care in their parents. My son is very confused by it all. He is not prepared for this. It is burdening him and it is visible in his face and actions. So sad to watch because it does not have to be like this. And I do need adults who are in agreement to help him to feel that I am not just the mother he hates. These are reasonable exspectations. Sensible. Not the exciting symulation of the crazymaking home where verbal abuse just reighns down like toxic waste. And teens need support to feel safe. geez I am sorry Mid westmom that my posts do not make sence to you. I apreciate that you do lend good ideas anyway. Thank you all. [/QUOTE]
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