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Didn't come home again, didn't call...
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 220085" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'm wondering - the flip side of the situation, the flip side that maybe is all your son sees - his friend is on his own, the mother is in hospital, and then you call the hospital and dob in a woman when she's down, for not taking care of her kids! </p><p></p><p>From your point of view, she's an unfit mother. You're seeing things that your son is not seeing. You're trying to save your son, he's trying to save a friend. You mightn't think much of that friend but at 17, that friend is more of a role model now than you are. We lose our kids, they stop looking up to us as role models.</p><p></p><p>So a strong suggestion here - keep them all off balance. While the woman is in hospital, invite her son round to your place to stay the night. Your house rules prevail, of course. Mutual respect, advise everybody (you advise them, they advise you) when anyone is going out, where they're going, when they'll be home (so you can appropriately cater for dinner). Do a load of washing, maybe help him do his own washing. Unless this guy is already a drugged-out no-hoper, I don't see that you can lose. You would be befriending the lad, helping out a woman in trouble, doing a good deed and in your son's eyes showing him a more appropriate way to help.</p><p></p><p>I would begin by asking your son what he thinks of the idea, of inviting the lad home to stay with you. That way they would be under YOUR nose and instead of YOUR son being exposed to a corrupting influence, you're hopefully taking a boy who needs it and exposing him to your GOOD influence, and keeping your son home under your roof at the same time.</p><p></p><p>The next trick is a decent square home-cooked meal. It can be done inexpensively; I have a few good curry recipes you can try which have won over my prospective sons in law.</p><p></p><p>There are much better ways to live. Sometimes our kids need to see this, through a friend's eyes.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 220085, member: 1991"] I'm wondering - the flip side of the situation, the flip side that maybe is all your son sees - his friend is on his own, the mother is in hospital, and then you call the hospital and dob in a woman when she's down, for not taking care of her kids! From your point of view, she's an unfit mother. You're seeing things that your son is not seeing. You're trying to save your son, he's trying to save a friend. You mightn't think much of that friend but at 17, that friend is more of a role model now than you are. We lose our kids, they stop looking up to us as role models. So a strong suggestion here - keep them all off balance. While the woman is in hospital, invite her son round to your place to stay the night. Your house rules prevail, of course. Mutual respect, advise everybody (you advise them, they advise you) when anyone is going out, where they're going, when they'll be home (so you can appropriately cater for dinner). Do a load of washing, maybe help him do his own washing. Unless this guy is already a drugged-out no-hoper, I don't see that you can lose. You would be befriending the lad, helping out a woman in trouble, doing a good deed and in your son's eyes showing him a more appropriate way to help. I would begin by asking your son what he thinks of the idea, of inviting the lad home to stay with you. That way they would be under YOUR nose and instead of YOUR son being exposed to a corrupting influence, you're hopefully taking a boy who needs it and exposing him to your GOOD influence, and keeping your son home under your roof at the same time. The next trick is a decent square home-cooked meal. It can be done inexpensively; I have a few good curry recipes you can try which have won over my prospective sons in law. There are much better ways to live. Sometimes our kids need to see this, through a friend's eyes. Marg [/QUOTE]
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