Different husband question/advice

[susiestar]

WHY is it that my husband will lay there ALL NIGHT coughing or in pain from something but will NOT take medications to help the problem?? Many nights it happens until I get up and give him something for it. He can lay there in absolute agony, KNOWING that he will be miserable at work the next day, and still NOT take anything. If I put the right dose of the right medication right next to him he will STILL not take it until I go and force him to.

Same if one of the kdis gets him up at night because they are sick/hurting. He will NOT give them anything. Not aleve for thank you's knee problems, or his inhaler if he is coughing. The kids have all learned to come to me (or thank you will go to Jess who will get what he needs - she always has stayed on top of that even when we did not tell her what he was taking. It has always been HER choice to have him come to her, NOT something we pushed onto her.)

WTF is wrong with this man that he would rather be miserable than take something - and is willing to keep the ENTIRE house up all night with coughing, or moaning in pain or whatever???

We have battled this for years and I am mostly just infuriated by it - it will wake me up and then it takes me HOURS to get back to sleep after he goes to sleep. Which truly angers me. Now he has both kids up - and he really does not seem to give a dang.

So should I just try to ride it out and deal with his grumpy miserable self or give in and give him medications in the hope that the rest of us can sleep?

 

[AnnieO]

Dose him up at the first sign of illness. If Benadryl knocks him out...

Honestly? My husband does exactly the opposite. I look at the circumstances - he will give Onyxx Nyquil for a cough, while I'll tell her to go get a drink of water. because the Nyquil actually doesn't help her coughing - she just sleeps through it.

husband will send Jett to me for a bandaid for a small papercut. Yes, it hurts, but it's not gushing blood.

 

[hearts and roses]

Sounds like my H, until recently. Now he steals my cough, cold, and allergy medications without asking. When I need prednisone or my cough medication, often the bottles are empty! Arghhhhhhh

 

[AnnieO]

...Digital safe???

 

[Hound dog]

I think it may be a macho guy thing Susie, at least for some guys. medications = weakness.

 

[Shari]

For me, I often don't wake up enough to do anything about it. Especially if I'm cold at night...I sleep like crud, am aware that I'm cold, but never am conscious enough to fix it.

May not be the case with your husband, but that's what happens to me. Not so much with coughing, cause that generally wakes me up enough to fix it.

 

[DaisyFace]

Uh-oh...

I admit that I do the same thing.

For me - it's a sense that I don't want to take anything for this "small" problem...I want to save the medications for something really big. (What that "really big thing" might be, I have no idea.)

husband will often scold me...

I've been trying to get better about taking his advice with regard to medications.

 

[keista]

Mine was similar, but only with prescription medications/pain killers. He would ALWAYS refuse to take them. The twist was that my husband is a HEAVY drinker. His favorite cold/flu cocktail was to get thoroughly drunk, then take a double dose of Nyquill, and a benadryl. I never did figure out why he was so "afraid" of the pain medications - he always said he didn't like the way they made him feel "groggy" You kidding me??????? I did talk him into taking them once when he had wicked tooth pain, and he admitted they helped a lot, but he still was only gonna take them sparingly.

 

[susiestar]

Kiesta, we have settled THAT fight - he was told that he would either take what the doctor rx'd the way the doctor rx'd it or he WOULD be dragged BACK to the doctor to explain WHY. He hates going to the doctor, so that solved that one after I did it about ten years ago. I adored his doctor then - for him, and her partner for me. She would let me call in a list of what was wrong with him if I couldn't go with him to the doctor. Then after asking him what was wrong ("nothin" she would ask WHY I said that this list of things was going on. ALWAYS got on him for that "nothin'" and read him the riot act for not taking the rx'd medications the time I dragged him in.

He now will swallow anything I give him. He used to fight it, but he knows that I have researched the medication, the problem, and know what is going on and that he will feel better if he does - and will feel worse AND get me insisting he do all sorts of chores if he doesn't. Cause if you don't need the medications you must be feeling just fine so go and clean this, fix that, run the errands, and do the other things. I will ask him what he has taken (usually nothing or what the doctor said) and then he will take what he needs that I give him.

It is the middle of the night sttuff that bugs me. I was up for four hours after he fell asleep and I wouldn't have been up at ALL if he hadn't coughed so much. Now I feel even yuckier than I did yesterday with the storm headache. Grrrrr..

 

[DammitJanet]

Susie Tony does the same thing at times...for everything but a headache. If he just feels bad, has the flu, cold or gets hurt...leave the man alone...lol. Meanwhile, Im digging in magic box of pills. I have enough to stock a small pharmacy...lol. He whines about what I am giving him, does he really need it, will it hurt him...by the time he gets finished whining, I am ready to tell him that yes, its gonna kill him! Sheesh man, I take these things all the time!!!! Am I dead yet?????