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difficult child 17. How will he handle adulthood?
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<blockquote data-quote="ROE" data-source="post: 104894" data-attributes="member: 2276"><p>Hi Purple Cow,</p><p></p><p>I agree with Sara. Let him experience the natural consequences. I have struggled with my son since he was 9 years old, he's 17 now. Last year was his worst academic year ever, he failed the entire year. Over the years, I tried everything I could think of, rewarding good behavior, punishing bad behavior. As he got older, nothing seemed to matter.</p><p></p><p>Finally, I felt that I had to let go and let natural consequences take over. It was very hard for me to do, I felt like I was giving up; something that I promised myself that I would never do. I actually accepted the idea that he may not graduate (it doesn't sound like this a concern for your son). I never told him this, the expectation is still there, but in my heart I have accepted that it may not happen that way. My son is capable of succeeding in school, but historically he would not apply himself. After years of stressing myself out trying to keep him on track, I came to the realization that HE has to want to change, nobody can make him. I am confident that if he does not graduate with his class, he will earn a GED, and he will go on to a techincal college (he already has two in mind).I know my son will be sucessful in his chosen field.</p><p></p><p>What I really want to mention is that this year my son has had a complete turn around. He is passing all of his classes with a C or higher, he does his homework regularly, he is studying for tests for the first time since grade school, and he attends school regularly. For the most part, he is staying out of trouble. HE actually cares about his grades now.</p><p></p><p>Although you are presently having some troubles with your son, it sounds like you've had alot of sucess with him also. I would not be concerned that he doesn't study since he is getting good grades. Regarding pounding fists, my son actually did break his hand punching a cabinet door in frustration...twice, same hand, same cupboard door, different years.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ROE, post: 104894, member: 2276"] Hi Purple Cow, I agree with Sara. Let him experience the natural consequences. I have struggled with my son since he was 9 years old, he's 17 now. Last year was his worst academic year ever, he failed the entire year. Over the years, I tried everything I could think of, rewarding good behavior, punishing bad behavior. As he got older, nothing seemed to matter. Finally, I felt that I had to let go and let natural consequences take over. It was very hard for me to do, I felt like I was giving up; something that I promised myself that I would never do. I actually accepted the idea that he may not graduate (it doesn't sound like this a concern for your son). I never told him this, the expectation is still there, but in my heart I have accepted that it may not happen that way. My son is capable of succeeding in school, but historically he would not apply himself. After years of stressing myself out trying to keep him on track, I came to the realization that HE has to want to change, nobody can make him. I am confident that if he does not graduate with his class, he will earn a GED, and he will go on to a techincal college (he already has two in mind).I know my son will be sucessful in his chosen field. What I really want to mention is that this year my son has had a complete turn around. He is passing all of his classes with a C or higher, he does his homework regularly, he is studying for tests for the first time since grade school, and he attends school regularly. For the most part, he is staying out of trouble. HE actually cares about his grades now. Although you are presently having some troubles with your son, it sounds like you've had alot of sucess with him also. I would not be concerned that he doesn't study since he is getting good grades. Regarding pounding fists, my son actually did break his hand punching a cabinet door in frustration...twice, same hand, same cupboard door, different years. [/QUOTE]
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