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Substance Abuse
difficult child age 15 headed for trouble how to avoid it your advice please
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 389402" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>If he isn't using drugs or drinking now he probably will be soon. My difficult child is adopted, we tried to instill good values to no avail. She came into the world with a lot of baggage to overcome and environment just cannot overcome genes. I have seen this same scenerio over and over again, almost exclusively with adopted children.</p><p></p><p>Our difficult child stole from very early on, she had lied ever since she was able to talk. We use to think she had no morals at all, that is still in question although circumstances of late give us hope. We took her to every doctor, therapist, counselor we could and spent thousands on getting her help. It wasn't until she started drinking and using drugs and ended up in rehab that finally we had some answers. It was almost like she was a drug addict and alcoholic from birth and until she went into recovery nothing would help.</p><p></p><p>Our adopted difficult child's have a lot of issues they are dealing with from abandonment to low self esteem. We think and are told that if we give them a good home everything will be ok. I just talked to another friend of mine that I saw when I was getting my hair done the other day. They adopted their son about the same time we adopted our daughter, and from the same agency. Their story is just like ours, anger issues, failing school, multiple police interventions from fights at home, pot smoking, drinking. He is now 20, still lives at home and has no goals in life. They are good parents, great parents in fact. I can't tell you how many stories I know just like this, and just from our circle of aquaintences. We all went into adoption with the same hopes and dreams and now, twenty years later most of us have been brought to our knees with issues we couldn't understand and had no experience or knowledge of how to help. Just last month a very good friend and ex neighbor's adopted daughter was arrested for drugs and is now in a drug program ordered by court. They too are wonderful parents. These kids all know each other, live in the same community, go to schools near each other. It is not a coincidence that we are all living the same nightmare.</p><p></p><p>Our kids need help, we need help. It cost us our life savings just to get through the past 19 years and it cost us much more in substance abuse treatment that was not covered by insurance. The good thing is that for now our daughter is 100 days clean and sober and her life is starting to turn around.</p><p></p><p>I wish I knew what to tell you that would help. Sadly I don't think there is much you can do until he hits bottom, and your family will go through a rough ride waiting for that to happen. We now have an excellent therapist who understand addiction and adoption. Would yoour son agree to counseling? </p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 389402, member: 59"] If he isn't using drugs or drinking now he probably will be soon. My difficult child is adopted, we tried to instill good values to no avail. She came into the world with a lot of baggage to overcome and environment just cannot overcome genes. I have seen this same scenerio over and over again, almost exclusively with adopted children. Our difficult child stole from very early on, she had lied ever since she was able to talk. We use to think she had no morals at all, that is still in question although circumstances of late give us hope. We took her to every doctor, therapist, counselor we could and spent thousands on getting her help. It wasn't until she started drinking and using drugs and ended up in rehab that finally we had some answers. It was almost like she was a drug addict and alcoholic from birth and until she went into recovery nothing would help. Our adopted difficult child's have a lot of issues they are dealing with from abandonment to low self esteem. We think and are told that if we give them a good home everything will be ok. I just talked to another friend of mine that I saw when I was getting my hair done the other day. They adopted their son about the same time we adopted our daughter, and from the same agency. Their story is just like ours, anger issues, failing school, multiple police interventions from fights at home, pot smoking, drinking. He is now 20, still lives at home and has no goals in life. They are good parents, great parents in fact. I can't tell you how many stories I know just like this, and just from our circle of aquaintences. We all went into adoption with the same hopes and dreams and now, twenty years later most of us have been brought to our knees with issues we couldn't understand and had no experience or knowledge of how to help. Just last month a very good friend and ex neighbor's adopted daughter was arrested for drugs and is now in a drug program ordered by court. They too are wonderful parents. These kids all know each other, live in the same community, go to schools near each other. It is not a coincidence that we are all living the same nightmare. Our kids need help, we need help. It cost us our life savings just to get through the past 19 years and it cost us much more in substance abuse treatment that was not covered by insurance. The good thing is that for now our daughter is 100 days clean and sober and her life is starting to turn around. I wish I knew what to tell you that would help. Sadly I don't think there is much you can do until he hits bottom, and your family will go through a rough ride waiting for that to happen. We now have an excellent therapist who understand addiction and adoption. Would yoour son agree to counseling? Nancy [/QUOTE]
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difficult child age 15 headed for trouble how to avoid it your advice please
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