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difficult child all over the place.....
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 240890" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>I am so sorry for the tweedles. I know how hard it has been on me losing my sister, and I am 41. Sometimes, like yesterday, I just break down and cry for hours because I just want H. back. For many months after she died, it seemed like it was not real. I stayed in a perpetual state of denial for months. If an adult does that - than I think it must be 10 fold for a kid - and maybe 100 fold for a difficult child. There are just not the healthy mechanisms in place in their brain in order to deal with stress - let alone this sort of stress that many adults can barely handle.</p><p></p><p>I seriously think they are doing so well, given all that has happened. I do have to caution though - that I think there will be more of these melt downs to come. When H died, difficult child handled it in this unbelievably healthy, and almost surreal way. Little did I know that he was harboring every ounce of grief within his soul, because he did not want to burden me with it. Six months later, he attempted suicide out of the blue, and well, you know the rest.</p><p></p><p>I think had I been more proactive with Matt, like you are with KT, than he would not have completely blown. I think these meltdowns are all part of processing grief for a kid - and unfortunately they do not know how to process it daily, or even weekly, like some adults can. However, even if she is melting down, she is processing it in her own way - which is a positive forward, healing action. </p><p></p><p>I am so sorry you are going through all of this. The burden is enormous for you, I know - as it is for the tweedles. My prayers and love are with you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 240890, member: 3301"] I am so sorry for the tweedles. I know how hard it has been on me losing my sister, and I am 41. Sometimes, like yesterday, I just break down and cry for hours because I just want H. back. For many months after she died, it seemed like it was not real. I stayed in a perpetual state of denial for months. If an adult does that - than I think it must be 10 fold for a kid - and maybe 100 fold for a difficult child. There are just not the healthy mechanisms in place in their brain in order to deal with stress - let alone this sort of stress that many adults can barely handle. I seriously think they are doing so well, given all that has happened. I do have to caution though - that I think there will be more of these melt downs to come. When H died, difficult child handled it in this unbelievably healthy, and almost surreal way. Little did I know that he was harboring every ounce of grief within his soul, because he did not want to burden me with it. Six months later, he attempted suicide out of the blue, and well, you know the rest. I think had I been more proactive with Matt, like you are with KT, than he would not have completely blown. I think these meltdowns are all part of processing grief for a kid - and unfortunately they do not know how to process it daily, or even weekly, like some adults can. However, even if she is melting down, she is processing it in her own way - which is a positive forward, healing action. I am so sorry you are going through all of this. The burden is enormous for you, I know - as it is for the tweedles. My prayers and love are with you. [/QUOTE]
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