difficult child doesn't

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Jun 7, 2007.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    get it! This morning he was in a horrible mood, swearing, refusing medications etc...About three minutes after his pleasant (not) outburst he is demanding help with his tamagatchis. Geez, difficult child I don't feel like helping after you yell and swear at me. He just keeps demanding, I, of course, keep refusing. :hammer:

    Tonight after school he again goes into a rude, disrespectful tirade and then immediately wants me to play a game. Totally doesn't understand why I don't want to play. :hammer:

    It's so interesting to watch a difficult child's thought pattern.

    On the bright side-he has still been fairly violence free-going on about a month now. There are still times he looks like he is going to blow, and he is starting to throw a few things but, overall, he is maintaining and that's rare and good for my difficult child!
  2. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    It's going to take a lot of repetition for difficult child to connect the dots. wm, especially, struggles with this.

    Apologies mean little to me of late. The tweedles let "I'm sorry" roll off their tongues a little too easily.

    Our difficult children lack of awareness; how their behaviors affects themselves & others is always & will always be an enigma to me.

    I'm glad that difficult child is less aggressive physically. I couldn't do that - I gotta tell you.

    Take care of yourself, sweetie! :flower:
  3. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Sharon - I'm doing an anti-board-jinx dance just to make *sure* the violence stays away. I'm really so glad to hear that has lessened!!!

    We're still trying to get thank you to figure this out too. You can't be a pill one minute and then expect your target to be all sweetness and light. We still have to walk him through the steps, and try to get him to change places. While he can't figure it out on his own yet, he is much more willing to at least go thru the exercise and sometimes the light bulb goes on.

    Another mom here who just scratches her head about a difficult child's complete absence of empathy for those directly affected by his behaviors, as well as such a basic cause and effect thing. It's something my other kids figured out so young.
  4. missdot

    missdot New Member

    I can totally relate to that difficult child got suspended from school this week and thinks because he cleaned on his "hiatus" I should buy him a $60 dollar watch and that he should be able to go to SIX FLAGS tomorrow. Where do they get these ideas? :hammer:
  5. jenbug

    jenbug New Member


    My son was suspended for a week - I had him do some chores and he then asked for an ipod!

    What the heck!?
  6. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    difficult child: "Gawd! I said I was sorry, Mom."

    Me: "If you were really sorry, you wouldn't keep doing it over and over."

    difficult child: "WHY DO YOU HATE ME???" Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, SLAM!

    I hear you, Sharon.
  7. waytootired

    waytootired New Member

    It is so hard .....do they understand what they have just done in the way of be-littling or verbally abusing us? I know that my son, who is bipolar, does not remember after he totally in a rage or manic episode treats me like crap. It is defeating...all we can do is try not to take it personally, it is the illness. I am sorry you had to go through such a heart breaking time time. Please know, you are not alone.
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Sigh. I recall those moments with Nichole vividly. I thought she'd never get it.

    Side note: I never gave in. (I can be more stubborn than any of my kids) Never when she did that. And STILL she did it. Then I finally figured some of the problem. I wasn't giving in, but her sibs and Dad were most of the time. ACK!

    So I threatened those three to get THEM to stop. :hammer:

    I'm rubbing Aubrey's new bunny's feet to keep the "curse" away. I hope difficult child keeps doing better.

  9. Kuliraga

    Kuliraga New Member

    It is comforting to hear that other parents with difficult child's get as confounded as we do about our special ones inability to connect the dots. One plus One seems to equal zero. And "I'm sorry" wants desperately to be a miracle cure. Sometimes we feel like pulling out our hair because it's like there are two different people inside our difficult child ... the sweet, loving, compassionate, gift giving, schnuggling, intelligent, imaginative angel ... and the dragon who steals, screams, fits, throws things and destroys property. And when he's the angel he doesn't remember anything the dragon does ... or seem to connect that the dragon is really him, or really effects any of us.

    Heavy sigh. ((( hugs for all ))) Here's hoping for the light at the end of the tunnel.
  10. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    I hear you wipedout. My difficult child, too. He just doesn't get it.

    Can't tell you how many times we've played wintergrace's scene out here.... I keep hoping my repetition will sink in one day.
  11. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    difficult child doesn't

    I like that topic. says it all...lmao
  12. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    My difficult children are the exact same way, especially difficult child 2!!! After difficult child 2 finishes a major melt-down, complete with lots of special "terms of endearment" (I think Timer Lady taught me this expression) just for me, he can't understand why I'm not in the mood to do a favor for him, or listen to him babble on and on and on...about absolutely nothing. I explain to him why I want time alone. Unfortunately, this doesn't seem to help. He just doesn't seem to get it :hammer:!!! He is just so socially "clueless"!!!

    I'm so happy that your difficult child hasn't had any violent episodes for almost a month. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that your difficult child continues to hold it together... WFEN
  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks guys-I knew you would understand! It would be nice if someday he would get it-in the mean time I'll keep sounding like a broken record!

    Ant's mom-thanks for the laugh- :rofl:
  14. waytootired

    waytootired New Member

    I actually tired to pull one of those situations on my difficult child to show him how I feel when he does it to me. I played a ranting mom, over the top even, then ask him for a foot rub. He looked at me like I was crazy. A little later I went back to explain why I acted that way. He said, "Ya right Mom, like I do that."
    I wanted to hit my head against the wall.....
  15. guest3

    guest3 Guest

    I can relate difficult child II was hugging me last night and being cuddly and I had Occupational Therapist (OT) force myself to reciprocate after being abused all day. Now as I stare at the large bruise welling up on my shin I wonder where this kid will be in 10 years and it's all overwhelming.
  16. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Even my easy child doesn't get it. On Monday she told me that I needed to send her college an extra $115 to cover end of year costs which included her making up one test. Then, on Friday she started whining to me on IM about how she hates her cell phone, hates the plan, can't hear anything, I should buy her a new phone and she doesn't understand why it costs $175 to disconnect. I sat stunned for a moment and said: "Well, gee, maybe if I didn't just send my LAST $115 to cover the cost of your make up test, I'd have a few dollars left over to buy you a new state of the art chocolate cell phone and plan. " DUH. She signed off but not before IM-ing me "You don't get it mom!" And she's my easy child.

    difficult child crashes her 5 speed car and then 4 days later asks to test drive easy child's 5 speed car. When I said no, she said I was mean and stormed upstair. Within 5 minutes she was back down to ask if I would take her clothes shopping?? WTH?

    Hugs Sharon - I'm glad he's less physically violent with you. That's a positive.