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difficult child got a Job...
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar II" data-source="post: 118488" data-attributes="member: 4391"><p>difficult child working anywhere near where I worked would have been very hard for me too, Coookie. I so understand what you mean about the PTSD reaction. It affects everything we do and think, and is so hard to function through.</p><p></p><p>Maybe, if he finds himself tempted to engage in those old behaviors, it will help difficult child to know you are right across the way?</p><p></p><p>He must love and trust you very much, to have accepted a job so close to where you are working.</p><p></p><p>In a way then, this is a really good thing.</p><p></p><p>You will be there, near enough to function as a role model and mentor for difficult child to get over those first hurdles, those first introductory months on the job when we are defining who we are, both to ourselves and to those we work with.</p><p></p><p>Yet, you are far enough away that he CAN make those choices for himself.</p><p></p><p>When you look at it that way, the reason to hope that your presence will help difficult child to be stronger as he takes these first steps toward re-establishing himself in the world is a good enough reason to counteract the PTSD stuff.</p><p></p><p>Not that it will go away, but that it is worth it, if difficult child makes it.</p><p></p><p>And it is worth it.</p><p></p><p>It has helped us to repeat that we need to remain uninvolved in the outcome. All those little questions that come up about when to help or how to advise find their answers there.</p><p></p><p>You need to remain uninvolved in the outcome, too.</p><p></p><p>You are pulling for difficult child to succeed, but that is all you CAN do.</p><p></p><p>Wish him well, and remind yourself that he was raised to know how to make the right choices.</p><p></p><p>I will say again that he must love, and trust you, very much.</p><p></p><p></p><p> :smile: </p><p></p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar II, post: 118488, member: 4391"] difficult child working anywhere near where I worked would have been very hard for me too, Coookie. I so understand what you mean about the PTSD reaction. It affects everything we do and think, and is so hard to function through. Maybe, if he finds himself tempted to engage in those old behaviors, it will help difficult child to know you are right across the way? He must love and trust you very much, to have accepted a job so close to where you are working. In a way then, this is a really good thing. You will be there, near enough to function as a role model and mentor for difficult child to get over those first hurdles, those first introductory months on the job when we are defining who we are, both to ourselves and to those we work with. Yet, you are far enough away that he CAN make those choices for himself. When you look at it that way, the reason to hope that your presence will help difficult child to be stronger as he takes these first steps toward re-establishing himself in the world is a good enough reason to counteract the PTSD stuff. Not that it will go away, but that it is worth it, if difficult child makes it. And it is worth it. It has helped us to repeat that we need to remain uninvolved in the outcome. All those little questions that come up about when to help or how to advise find their answers there. You need to remain uninvolved in the outcome, too. You are pulling for difficult child to succeed, but that is all you CAN do. Wish him well, and remind yourself that he was raised to know how to make the right choices. I will say again that he must love, and trust you, very much. [img]:smile:[/img] Barbara [/QUOTE]
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