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difficult child has now sold (ebay) all the gifts he received from us last year...
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 487368"><p>Oh Gosh I can empathize.... speaking from experience, my guess is although he may be using some of that stuff for regular expenses there is a good chance he is selling that stuff to buy drugs.... so I don't think you should get him expensive gifts for Xmas either.... could you put the money you were going to spend into an account for him and tell him when he is showing you that he is doing the right things for himself you will give him the money for a laptop???</p><p></p><p>I just found out from my difficult child today that when he was kicked out of the last sober house they made him leave without packing his stuff... so he lost most of his clothes, his ipod etc. I did call them that night so he did get his phone but lost his charger! Sigh over the years he has lost so much stuff due to his bad decisions.. I did call them today to see if they could send his stuff to me... they did not know where it was but were going to check... and in the conversation with my difficult child he told me basically they were physically pretty rough with him when they were kicking him out. Of course he may not be telling me the whole truth but still I found it upsetting.</p><p></p><p>But pack to getting them stuff.... now my son needs some clothes and things... he is asking for the practical things such as a bicycle (no more talk of a scooter) and some clothes to interview in etc. He originally suggested maybe I get a gift card but he knows I wont give him any money... and I asked him to send me some links to clothes he likes and I am going to go and buy him some clothes and send them to him. He also mentioned an etiquette teacher at the place he is at... and he seems to be paying attention which is good.</p><p></p><p>Anyway until your son is trying to do the right thing i would be careful about buying him expensive gifts. You don't owe him anything. I understand you want to get him some gifts like you get his brothers... so get him some gifts to open, but keep them inexpensive. And I think I would tell him right out that you know he is selling everything on ebay and so you don't feel you can get him expensive things right now.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 487368"] Oh Gosh I can empathize.... speaking from experience, my guess is although he may be using some of that stuff for regular expenses there is a good chance he is selling that stuff to buy drugs.... so I don't think you should get him expensive gifts for Xmas either.... could you put the money you were going to spend into an account for him and tell him when he is showing you that he is doing the right things for himself you will give him the money for a laptop??? I just found out from my difficult child today that when he was kicked out of the last sober house they made him leave without packing his stuff... so he lost most of his clothes, his ipod etc. I did call them that night so he did get his phone but lost his charger! Sigh over the years he has lost so much stuff due to his bad decisions.. I did call them today to see if they could send his stuff to me... they did not know where it was but were going to check... and in the conversation with my difficult child he told me basically they were physically pretty rough with him when they were kicking him out. Of course he may not be telling me the whole truth but still I found it upsetting. But pack to getting them stuff.... now my son needs some clothes and things... he is asking for the practical things such as a bicycle (no more talk of a scooter) and some clothes to interview in etc. He originally suggested maybe I get a gift card but he knows I wont give him any money... and I asked him to send me some links to clothes he likes and I am going to go and buy him some clothes and send them to him. He also mentioned an etiquette teacher at the place he is at... and he seems to be paying attention which is good. Anyway until your son is trying to do the right thing i would be careful about buying him expensive gifts. You don't owe him anything. I understand you want to get him some gifts like you get his brothers... so get him some gifts to open, but keep them inexpensive. And I think I would tell him right out that you know he is selling everything on ebay and so you don't feel you can get him expensive things right now. TL [/QUOTE]
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difficult child has now sold (ebay) all the gifts he received from us last year...
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