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difficult child has now sold (ebay) all the gifts he received from us last year...
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 487726" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Sig you are nothing at all resembling wishy washy. I don't think I could have done what you did on that awful Aug 29. It took my far too many years to identify what was going on and have the courage to kick her out. When you first came Occupational Therapist (OT) the board and told that story I was so impressed by your strength and clarity. You taught me a lot that day and continue to do so. What you just said was so honest and I appreciate your willingness to share your thoughts and feelings. </p><p></p><p>There are times when I am hesitant to say something too because it's easy to assume I am enabling or haven't detached enough or am too involved in her recovery and so I keep quiet. I have met two wonderful families through difficult child's recovery and I must say are very involved in their difficult child's recovery and both difficult child's are doing wonderfully, much better than mine. In fact I am going to an AA meeting tonight that the one mom goes to with her son. He just had his one year sobriety. She and her husband have supported their son through inpatient, outpatient, sober house and now his living arrangements on his own with sober roommates. She cooked food for the sober house every week. She went to AA meetings with him, she helps other young people find help, she is there to talk to and listen. The director of the sober house never told her she was too involved in her son's recovery or more involved than he was. She has her life, she does not live for her son, but she and her entire family celebrate their son's sobriety and are not ashamed to say it.</p><p></p><p>I grapple with the same feelings about paying for difficult child's school. She wants to go back part time and study veterinary tech. I wish we could say sure we'll help but I can't and without our help she can't go. But we've done that twice before and I don't see the kind of changes I need to see to help. But I still feel awful about it. I feel awful that I have not gotten anything for difficult child for Christmas that she will really be excited about. I know what I want to do but I am trying to process it in my mind. I think I am nearly there but it takes a while. </p><p></p><p>You are not fixated on your son. I am not fixated on my daughter. We both have a difficult child with drug/alcohol issues and you are right, this is our outlet, and I am so grateful for it. If you were too involved in your son or was riddled with guilt, you could not have done what you did when you realized there was a problem that needed to be addressed.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 487726, member: 59"] Sig you are nothing at all resembling wishy washy. I don't think I could have done what you did on that awful Aug 29. It took my far too many years to identify what was going on and have the courage to kick her out. When you first came Occupational Therapist (OT) the board and told that story I was so impressed by your strength and clarity. You taught me a lot that day and continue to do so. What you just said was so honest and I appreciate your willingness to share your thoughts and feelings. There are times when I am hesitant to say something too because it's easy to assume I am enabling or haven't detached enough or am too involved in her recovery and so I keep quiet. I have met two wonderful families through difficult child's recovery and I must say are very involved in their difficult child's recovery and both difficult child's are doing wonderfully, much better than mine. In fact I am going to an AA meeting tonight that the one mom goes to with her son. He just had his one year sobriety. She and her husband have supported their son through inpatient, outpatient, sober house and now his living arrangements on his own with sober roommates. She cooked food for the sober house every week. She went to AA meetings with him, she helps other young people find help, she is there to talk to and listen. The director of the sober house never told her she was too involved in her son's recovery or more involved than he was. She has her life, she does not live for her son, but she and her entire family celebrate their son's sobriety and are not ashamed to say it. I grapple with the same feelings about paying for difficult child's school. She wants to go back part time and study veterinary tech. I wish we could say sure we'll help but I can't and without our help she can't go. But we've done that twice before and I don't see the kind of changes I need to see to help. But I still feel awful about it. I feel awful that I have not gotten anything for difficult child for Christmas that she will really be excited about. I know what I want to do but I am trying to process it in my mind. I think I am nearly there but it takes a while. You are not fixated on your son. I am not fixated on my daughter. We both have a difficult child with drug/alcohol issues and you are right, this is our outlet, and I am so grateful for it. If you were too involved in your son or was riddled with guilt, you could not have done what you did when you realized there was a problem that needed to be addressed. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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difficult child has now sold (ebay) all the gifts he received from us last year...
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