difficult child In Diagnostic Center

[Jeppy]

After a couple suicide threats (screened out at ER as manipulative rather than substantive) and a property-destroying tantrum, I turned custody over voluntarily to the state 1 week ago and difficult child is now in a group home. He continues to attend his regular school and to see his tdocs. It is hard because he is absolutely miserable and in some ways he was better/trying before I sent him there though in other ways he was worse.

He is constantly asking to come home for offsite visits which I don't feel comfortable with and also begging to be removed from the program where he is anxious because all his little OCDisms aren't accommodated and also because other kids are telling him he will be there a much longer time than we were told at intake.

Tomorrow is the initial meeting with the clinician to set up the assessment plan. I am going to try to get the timeline defined more clearly and to press hard for getting the psychiatrist/medication review piece done as quickly as possible. difficult child has never been on medications and the general consensus now (family including me, therapist, sw, even police) is that he needs to be. Anything else I should bring up?

 

[LittleDudesMom]

Jeppy,

sorry you had to resort to this extreme, but you have to do what works. I would be straight forward about how high his anxiety level is and how that affects his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I would also, though I'm sure it's a matter of record, be as honest as possible about his raging, property destruction, etc. You have to show your son in his true light, no sugar-coating, in order to get him the help he needs.

I would hope that he will be given a full evaluation. If Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is the only mental health issue he is dealing with, the good news is that medications and therapy can be very effective. He as to want it though.... Perhaps that is why the tdocs have not made any progress with him so far, he wasn't interested. Now perhaps he'll have the motivation - coming home.

Stay strong - don't be sidelined by guilt or manipulation to allow him a visit. Wait until you see there is some forward progress and you can use it as a good carrot. Good luck.

 

[Josie]

I would ask for CBT/ERP therapy for the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). It is a very specific kind of therapy and from what I understand, is sometimes hard to find. We were lucky enough to have an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) center nearby so I didn't have that problem.

My daughter recognized she had a problem, but I can't say she chose to do the therapy. It involves doing "homework" and we could never really get her to do much of that. We had the therapist come to our house 9 hours weekly to work with her. It did work for that particular issue which made life for all of us much easier.

I really feel for him if he has to completely give up all of his OCDisms at once without proper support.

 

[DDD]

Just sending supportive thoughts your way. I don't know if you have a journal of his behaviors yet but perhaps you could review the past and jot down enough remembrances to share that the experts will understand the depth of the problems. Hugs. DDD

 

[busywend]

One thing I have learned on this site is if your child is placed anywhere for any length of time - upon discharge BE SURE to have a discharge plan written up that includes what you should do upon meltdown extremes.

 

[Jeppy]

Thank you all - I went to the meeting feeling fortified with your suggestions.

LittleDudesMom, the social worker who has been working with us for the better part of the year gave the unvarnished facts about his behavior so I didn't have to. difficult child was asked if he wanted to respond to or challenge any of those facts and he said now. They are going to do multiple evaluations.

Hope, they said they are only a diagnostic center so won't do any treatments like CBT but will recommend what he needs. We did spend quite a bit of time discussing some of his food issues there arising from the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

DDD, no journal - I guess I should start one when he comes home. There are times in the past I kept notes before going to court or social services but I haven't kept them.

Busywend, I did get a plan for offsite visits when they happen and will ask about a plan for discharge when that time comes. We're probably talking a little over a month before he comes home or is placed elsewhere if that is warranted.

Thank you all again.

 

[Josie]

What food issues does he have?

 

[Jeppy]

Hope, I'd call it germaphobia. Doesn't want to eat anything if it's within a week before the expiration date or the package is at all bent or smushed in the trip home from the grocery store, wants his own dishes, utensils, pots & pans, etc. and has to wash them himself, etc.