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difficult child is just being a brat lately
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 465363" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>You are going to act firmly and swiftly on this. DO NOT BLUFF. When Wiz was little we lived in Cincy and there were a HUGE number of kids reporting parents to children's protection and getting what they wanted - parents order to do truly stupid stuff that cps can't actually order.</p><p></p><p>I told my kids, ALL of them, that if they dialed the # for CPS, and they could at ANY time, that they had better pack a bag of a few outfits because they would be leaving with the CPS rep. I would NOT tolerate that kind of sward being held over my head and if they thought that the normal parental discipline, chores, etc... was outrageous, they could go live in a foster home or orphanage and not be part of our family. BUT not being part of our family meant that they lost ALL family members, incl gma and gpa that showered esp Wiz with toys and gifts. He would get NO contact if he called cps on us - and NONE of the boxes of stuff that she sent weekly. (One of our big entitlement issues wth Wiz was that my mom sent almost weekly boxes crammed with stuff and most of it was for him every time, even after we had 2 more kids.)</p><p></p><p>in my opinion it is tme to make the consequence for calling police/cps WAY too high.</p><p></p><p>Take away computer and cell phone/ipod access (if his ipod goes online). If he is inappropriate online or about online thngs, take away internet access at school. School will whine like a baby, been there done that, but they CAN do it. Our school shut up on the whining about how teachers couldn't teach with-o the kids going online by asking how the teachers got educated - no computers then, and also by asking why, if computers and internet access were SOOOOOO important, the students didn't have a computer to use in each classroom? They hated me that year, but they did what I insisted because I would not back down and I called them on every sngle thing. Why they wanted the kid who got through the firewall to porn using his teacher's password (that she admitted giving him) to be online ever again, I have no clue.</p><p></p><p>If you let ANY of his cps/police/whatever shenanigans go on with-o making it very clear that it is NOT going to happen with-o the removal of ALL that he likes, he will do this to you for hte rest of your life. NOt just his childhood. Be very specific about medical records, etc.... In some states a child as young as 14 can keep the parents from seeng ANY medical record incl surgery, mental health, everything. Some states it is just mental health. It varies from state to state. </p><p></p><p>My children know that as long as they live in my home, I will see their medical/therapy/school/whatever records any time I see fit. If it requires their permission, they will give it without ANY hesitation or I will make their lives a living hades. They know that I am DEAD SERIOUS and will not tolerate even a TINY big of rebellion on this issue. </p><p></p><p>I know many parents who have been held over a barrel by their kids. Refuse to allow it. Even if the law says they can withhold records, you can withhold a LOT more - like food they like, access to the internet, phones, computers, music, you can reduce their wardrobe to one pr of ugly shoes and 7 outfits that they despise. </p><p></p><p>Parents forget and/or give away our power because we want to be liked. our children are not our friends. Friends are a dime a dozen in a kids life - they come and go like farts in a hurricane. Parents? you get one set, maybe 2 if you are lucky. We are older, better planners, more experienced and if we put a smidge of effort into it, far more devious.</p><p></p><p>For now? No computer, no phone of any kind, no video games no screens. Not at home for now. Keep them away for a week or two. Let him fully realize how tiny his world will be if he keeps calling the police, cps, etc..... DO NOT BLUFF OR GIVE IN EARLY.</p><p></p><p>This may seem annoying now, and embarrassing, but just wait until he gets the social worker who sees he has called ten times, well surely SOMETHING is going on that is bad for that boy!!!!!! Time to go and make those parents be nice!!!</p><p></p><p>Yes, it is stupid and a waste of the little time a social worker has. But it will happen nonetheless.</p><p></p><p>by the way, Wiz is almost 20, has not lived with us for 6 years, and I am STILL on ALL of his medical forms, school forms, etc.... as a person allowed to see them and someone the docs can speak to about him. Even the stuff for his college classes. To date I think he is still afraid of what would happen if he tried to buck me on that - not that I go snooping.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 465363, member: 1233"] You are going to act firmly and swiftly on this. DO NOT BLUFF. When Wiz was little we lived in Cincy and there were a HUGE number of kids reporting parents to children's protection and getting what they wanted - parents order to do truly stupid stuff that cps can't actually order. I told my kids, ALL of them, that if they dialed the # for CPS, and they could at ANY time, that they had better pack a bag of a few outfits because they would be leaving with the CPS rep. I would NOT tolerate that kind of sward being held over my head and if they thought that the normal parental discipline, chores, etc... was outrageous, they could go live in a foster home or orphanage and not be part of our family. BUT not being part of our family meant that they lost ALL family members, incl gma and gpa that showered esp Wiz with toys and gifts. He would get NO contact if he called cps on us - and NONE of the boxes of stuff that she sent weekly. (One of our big entitlement issues wth Wiz was that my mom sent almost weekly boxes crammed with stuff and most of it was for him every time, even after we had 2 more kids.) in my opinion it is tme to make the consequence for calling police/cps WAY too high. Take away computer and cell phone/ipod access (if his ipod goes online). If he is inappropriate online or about online thngs, take away internet access at school. School will whine like a baby, been there done that, but they CAN do it. Our school shut up on the whining about how teachers couldn't teach with-o the kids going online by asking how the teachers got educated - no computers then, and also by asking why, if computers and internet access were SOOOOOO important, the students didn't have a computer to use in each classroom? They hated me that year, but they did what I insisted because I would not back down and I called them on every sngle thing. Why they wanted the kid who got through the firewall to porn using his teacher's password (that she admitted giving him) to be online ever again, I have no clue. If you let ANY of his cps/police/whatever shenanigans go on with-o making it very clear that it is NOT going to happen with-o the removal of ALL that he likes, he will do this to you for hte rest of your life. NOt just his childhood. Be very specific about medical records, etc.... In some states a child as young as 14 can keep the parents from seeng ANY medical record incl surgery, mental health, everything. Some states it is just mental health. It varies from state to state. My children know that as long as they live in my home, I will see their medical/therapy/school/whatever records any time I see fit. If it requires their permission, they will give it without ANY hesitation or I will make their lives a living hades. They know that I am DEAD SERIOUS and will not tolerate even a TINY big of rebellion on this issue. I know many parents who have been held over a barrel by their kids. Refuse to allow it. Even if the law says they can withhold records, you can withhold a LOT more - like food they like, access to the internet, phones, computers, music, you can reduce their wardrobe to one pr of ugly shoes and 7 outfits that they despise. Parents forget and/or give away our power because we want to be liked. our children are not our friends. Friends are a dime a dozen in a kids life - they come and go like farts in a hurricane. Parents? you get one set, maybe 2 if you are lucky. We are older, better planners, more experienced and if we put a smidge of effort into it, far more devious. For now? No computer, no phone of any kind, no video games no screens. Not at home for now. Keep them away for a week or two. Let him fully realize how tiny his world will be if he keeps calling the police, cps, etc..... DO NOT BLUFF OR GIVE IN EARLY. This may seem annoying now, and embarrassing, but just wait until he gets the social worker who sees he has called ten times, well surely SOMETHING is going on that is bad for that boy!!!!!! Time to go and make those parents be nice!!! Yes, it is stupid and a waste of the little time a social worker has. But it will happen nonetheless. by the way, Wiz is almost 20, has not lived with us for 6 years, and I am STILL on ALL of his medical forms, school forms, etc.... as a person allowed to see them and someone the docs can speak to about him. Even the stuff for his college classes. To date I think he is still afraid of what would happen if he tried to buck me on that - not that I go snooping. [/QUOTE]
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