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difficult child is missing again
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<blockquote data-quote="mom_to_3" data-source="post: 601577" data-attributes="member: 30"><p>I understand completely. We had to let our abusive difficult child daughter go at 16 yrs. It really was the best thing for all of us. We do have a relationship now, but I am pretty much hands off with her. It's just the way it has to be. It's funny, because my difficult child and I would suspect yours and everyone else's, want soooo much more from us. My difficult child has told me this and it really hurts, but *I* know I can't give her what she wants. She wants all my attention focused on her at all times and when she doesn't get her way with me or someone else, she wants to take it out on me. No THANKYOU! A relationship is give and take and being considerate of the other persons feelings.</p><p></p><p> I know exactly where you are coming from and I think I hear that you are at peace with your decision. I hope you are. It did take me quite awhile to get over our choice to have her leave, but like I said, it was the best thing for all of us. Our difficult child is 29 yrs. old with a 9 yrs old son. I don't approve of the way she lives her life or what she exposes her son to, or how she parents him. I am now able to leave that concern squarely on HER shoulders where it belongs. Of course I will always keep an eye out for my grandson. Sometimes when I am talking to my difficult child and she wants me to get involved in her drama / problems, I just tell her "don't make your problems my problems". She won't listen to anything reasonable I tell her, so those words have served me well. And I stick by those words. I am so done with garbage! You will be able to have some sort of relationship with your daughter someday. Maybe not the ideal relationship, but you can have one that doesn't have to drive you crazy. I hope you keep your resolve, you'll be happy in the end that you did. Make sure you quickly clear up any legal doings that you need to!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mom_to_3, post: 601577, member: 30"] I understand completely. We had to let our abusive difficult child daughter go at 16 yrs. It really was the best thing for all of us. We do have a relationship now, but I am pretty much hands off with her. It's just the way it has to be. It's funny, because my difficult child and I would suspect yours and everyone else's, want soooo much more from us. My difficult child has told me this and it really hurts, but *I* know I can't give her what she wants. She wants all my attention focused on her at all times and when she doesn't get her way with me or someone else, she wants to take it out on me. No THANKYOU! A relationship is give and take and being considerate of the other persons feelings. I know exactly where you are coming from and I think I hear that you are at peace with your decision. I hope you are. It did take me quite awhile to get over our choice to have her leave, but like I said, it was the best thing for all of us. Our difficult child is 29 yrs. old with a 9 yrs old son. I don't approve of the way she lives her life or what she exposes her son to, or how she parents him. I am now able to leave that concern squarely on HER shoulders where it belongs. Of course I will always keep an eye out for my grandson. Sometimes when I am talking to my difficult child and she wants me to get involved in her drama / problems, I just tell her "don't make your problems my problems". She won't listen to anything reasonable I tell her, so those words have served me well. And I stick by those words. I am so done with garbage! You will be able to have some sort of relationship with your daughter someday. Maybe not the ideal relationship, but you can have one that doesn't have to drive you crazy. I hope you keep your resolve, you'll be happy in the end that you did. Make sure you quickly clear up any legal doings that you need to! [/QUOTE]
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