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difficult child just called
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 513413" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>And one more reason why I think moving is a good idea. I'm always going to be his mom. When things get this personal and heated- in a bad way, obviously- between the PO of a juvenile and the parent, and the parent has filed legal complaints against the PO, it should be policy to change the PO, in my humble opinion, because obviously, the PO is going to have a conflict of interest at that point. But they refused. Apparently PO thinks it's easier to go to court and get the parent out of the picture. Nope- not enough grounds for that one. So, I'll just move.</p><p></p><p>difficult child and I are in agreement his PO after his first release didn't play this sort of koi, leveled with us even if we weren't always in agreement, etc. I do think he should have gotten some transitional things in place but he swears they weren't available at the time. Still, we never spent time stressing over what under-handed things he might be doing because we could trust him. Even though difficult child got recommitted, it was thru difficult child's own actions and that PO can't be blamed. Given the experience with the probation officer who wouldn't do squat when she could have and then that first parole officer, it's pretty clear to me when we are being set up. And I reminded difficult child about his first probation officer (not the bad one) and we agreed she was very good. I did this to point out to him that we need to remember, they aren't all this way but when the red flags are there that they are looking to throw one or both of us under the bus, we need to find a legal way to get the PO changed. </p><p></p><p>I tried jumping thru all the hoops of that probation officer while still fighting for difficult child to get adequate services which she refused to do anything about and you see where it landed us both. Never again will I go thru that or put difficult child thru it. And it's a little ironic- both that probation officer and this PO's super made the identical comment when I was discussing services before- "it has to be their idea". Well, their idea was to do nothing. And I complained. And they retaliated.</p><p></p><p>To address your concern more specifically, I have told difficult child this time and with that probation for him not to refuse to sign anything. If he really isn't comfortable with it, then ask if he can think about it a while first. But I don't want him ddoing anything like that giving them reason to say he's not cooperating. I'll fight that fight- I'm not the one on parole. And our state law does require parental permission or agreement for a lot of this stuff- they just won't tell you that- just like with that GH. They can't order me to give up custody of my kid. A judge can, but a PO does not have the legal authority to. If there had been valid reason, he could have gone to a judge but he didn't and he knew there wasn't valid reason. DDD, thisd guy has gotten way to big for his britches.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 513413, member: 3699"] And one more reason why I think moving is a good idea. I'm always going to be his mom. When things get this personal and heated- in a bad way, obviously- between the PO of a juvenile and the parent, and the parent has filed legal complaints against the PO, it should be policy to change the PO, in my humble opinion, because obviously, the PO is going to have a conflict of interest at that point. But they refused. Apparently PO thinks it's easier to go to court and get the parent out of the picture. Nope- not enough grounds for that one. So, I'll just move. difficult child and I are in agreement his PO after his first release didn't play this sort of koi, leveled with us even if we weren't always in agreement, etc. I do think he should have gotten some transitional things in place but he swears they weren't available at the time. Still, we never spent time stressing over what under-handed things he might be doing because we could trust him. Even though difficult child got recommitted, it was thru difficult child's own actions and that PO can't be blamed. Given the experience with the probation officer who wouldn't do squat when she could have and then that first parole officer, it's pretty clear to me when we are being set up. And I reminded difficult child about his first probation officer (not the bad one) and we agreed she was very good. I did this to point out to him that we need to remember, they aren't all this way but when the red flags are there that they are looking to throw one or both of us under the bus, we need to find a legal way to get the PO changed. I tried jumping thru all the hoops of that probation officer while still fighting for difficult child to get adequate services which she refused to do anything about and you see where it landed us both. Never again will I go thru that or put difficult child thru it. And it's a little ironic- both that probation officer and this PO's super made the identical comment when I was discussing services before- "it has to be their idea". Well, their idea was to do nothing. And I complained. And they retaliated. To address your concern more specifically, I have told difficult child this time and with that probation for him not to refuse to sign anything. If he really isn't comfortable with it, then ask if he can think about it a while first. But I don't want him ddoing anything like that giving them reason to say he's not cooperating. I'll fight that fight- I'm not the one on parole. And our state law does require parental permission or agreement for a lot of this stuff- they just won't tell you that- just like with that GH. They can't order me to give up custody of my kid. A judge can, but a PO does not have the legal authority to. If there had been valid reason, he could have gone to a judge but he didn't and he knew there wasn't valid reason. DDD, thisd guy has gotten way to big for his britches. [/QUOTE]
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