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difficult child just called
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 513520" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>You are the Mom. I'm not even a personal friend or blood relative...just a cyber family member. on the other hand, lol, since the stakes are high I figure you need to have someone who presents food for thought instead of agreement. The situation is Godawful for sure....and now very complex on multiple levels.</p><p></p><p>If it's possible to pretend that you are not a participant in this situation (and it may not even be possible as obviously it is hugely important to you with good cause) either mentally or using a pad and pencil (if that helps you like it does me) reconstruct the interactions. BM, BC, PO#1 etc. etc. to help gain a sense of the problem with-o personalities. Just chart it out with boxes or sentences or whatever in an attempt to separate yourself from the individuals...including you and difficult child.</p><p></p><p>Year, incident, coded participants, actions taken by BM, BC, PO, GAL etc. and reactions to that by each participant. Simple emotional and functional stances. Do it for each year with all relevant parties with the perspective of each party. Is this making sense, lol?</p><p></p><p>Get a cup of tea, take a break and then look at the pad and see how many "happy" "cooperative" time periods and people there are for the past x years. Compare that to the "angry" "anxious" "compative" etc. indicators there are for the same time period.</p><p></p><p>Chances are there will be few times reflected where you and the system were in sync. I'm not talking about "fault". I'm talking about patterns of interaction. Then add on the past few months where you have contacted State and Federal authorities. This is difficult child's file. This file goes with him no matter where you live. As an experienced and educated business woman imagine you are given a file that shows a volatile history of interactions, and the hint of impending investigation into your handling of that file. Would you be able to say "oh well I'm going to do a fantastic job helping this family and ignore the contents of the file"? Likely not. You would see a big red flag.</p><p></p><p>If a "geographic cure" meant you could be hooked up with a good PO, start from scratch with no file history and simply state "Nice to meet you. I am difficult child's Mom. He has recently been released from X and l would like a plan outlining what steps you'll require for our reunification" that would be great. It simply can't happen that way.</p><p></p><p>I very sincerely hope that you will take a little bit more time before jumping the familiar ship. There is a possibility that Monday's meeting "might" have positive aspects. in my humble opinion if you can get some issues ironed out where you are it will likely expedite difficult child's return home, it will save him from the additional trauma of relocation and likely it will "be over" sooner for you too. Additionally, sigh, going to the meeting and telling them "we're moving out of your area" is going to fuel the flames and add more commentary to difficult child's file. </p><p></p><p>Long post...sent with caring intent. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 513520, member: 35"] You are the Mom. I'm not even a personal friend or blood relative...just a cyber family member. on the other hand, lol, since the stakes are high I figure you need to have someone who presents food for thought instead of agreement. The situation is Godawful for sure....and now very complex on multiple levels. If it's possible to pretend that you are not a participant in this situation (and it may not even be possible as obviously it is hugely important to you with good cause) either mentally or using a pad and pencil (if that helps you like it does me) reconstruct the interactions. BM, BC, PO#1 etc. etc. to help gain a sense of the problem with-o personalities. Just chart it out with boxes or sentences or whatever in an attempt to separate yourself from the individuals...including you and difficult child. Year, incident, coded participants, actions taken by BM, BC, PO, GAL etc. and reactions to that by each participant. Simple emotional and functional stances. Do it for each year with all relevant parties with the perspective of each party. Is this making sense, lol? Get a cup of tea, take a break and then look at the pad and see how many "happy" "cooperative" time periods and people there are for the past x years. Compare that to the "angry" "anxious" "compative" etc. indicators there are for the same time period. Chances are there will be few times reflected where you and the system were in sync. I'm not talking about "fault". I'm talking about patterns of interaction. Then add on the past few months where you have contacted State and Federal authorities. This is difficult child's file. This file goes with him no matter where you live. As an experienced and educated business woman imagine you are given a file that shows a volatile history of interactions, and the hint of impending investigation into your handling of that file. Would you be able to say "oh well I'm going to do a fantastic job helping this family and ignore the contents of the file"? Likely not. You would see a big red flag. If a "geographic cure" meant you could be hooked up with a good PO, start from scratch with no file history and simply state "Nice to meet you. I am difficult child's Mom. He has recently been released from X and l would like a plan outlining what steps you'll require for our reunification" that would be great. It simply can't happen that way. I very sincerely hope that you will take a little bit more time before jumping the familiar ship. There is a possibility that Monday's meeting "might" have positive aspects. in my humble opinion if you can get some issues ironed out where you are it will likely expedite difficult child's return home, it will save him from the additional trauma of relocation and likely it will "be over" sooner for you too. Additionally, sigh, going to the meeting and telling them "we're moving out of your area" is going to fuel the flames and add more commentary to difficult child's file. Long post...sent with caring intent. DDD [/QUOTE]
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