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difficult child on self destruct
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<blockquote data-quote="So Tired" data-source="post: 159040" data-attributes="member: 4772"><p>Staying Strong -- Welcome! I hope you find some comfort here.</p><p> </p><p>I can definately relate. It is so hard to turn them out knowing their life skills are so poor. I think Star has a lot of good advice though - They have to live with their life choices, but we don't. And we can't change someone who doesn't want to change for themselves. We can threaten and nag, but in my humble opinion they will only do the bare minimum to make sure they don't get thrown out of the house. Somebody in another post made a comment that really stuck with me. They said "I'll be part of your recovery but I'm not willing to be your enabler"</p><p> </p><p>I think sometimes to help our children we have to let them make their own mistakes. Unfortunately, some kids just need to hit the very bottom before they are willing to change. You keep giving them "one more chance" and they will just keep using up those chances.</p><p> </p><p>You don't say how old your other children are, if they are still at home. I have put my younger one through so much for the sake of her older brother. She is a good kid, and doesn't deserve the emotional upheaval he brings to our home. It's not fair to her that I have used up all my emotional energy in fighting the battle with him, and some days have so little to offer her.</p><p> </p><p>Remember, Staying Strong, you daughter's well being is important, but no more important than <span style="color: black"><u>your</u></span> well being and the well being of your other children.</p><p> </p><p>I am wishing you strength and courage.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="So Tired, post: 159040, member: 4772"] Staying Strong -- Welcome! I hope you find some comfort here. I can definately relate. It is so hard to turn them out knowing their life skills are so poor. I think Star has a lot of good advice though - They have to live with their life choices, but we don't. And we can't change someone who doesn't want to change for themselves. We can threaten and nag, but in my humble opinion they will only do the bare minimum to make sure they don't get thrown out of the house. Somebody in another post made a comment that really stuck with me. They said "I'll be part of your recovery but I'm not willing to be your enabler" I think sometimes to help our children we have to let them make their own mistakes. Unfortunately, some kids just need to hit the very bottom before they are willing to change. You keep giving them "one more chance" and they will just keep using up those chances. You don't say how old your other children are, if they are still at home. I have put my younger one through so much for the sake of her older brother. She is a good kid, and doesn't deserve the emotional upheaval he brings to our home. It's not fair to her that I have used up all my emotional energy in fighting the battle with him, and some days have so little to offer her. Remember, Staying Strong, you daughter's well being is important, but no more important than [COLOR=black][U]your[/U][/COLOR] well being and the well being of your other children. I am wishing you strength and courage. [/QUOTE]
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